Harder To Find Than Jokes
14 harder to find than jokes and hilarious harder to find than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about harder to find than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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I'm glad we have that s**... offender registry.
Without, It would be so much harder to find new, like-minded friends in the neighborhood.
They say good dads are hard to find
But bad dads are even harder to find
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I lost my wedding ring the other day
Had a quick check under the sofa but wasn't really that bothered until the missus came home and told me to look harder.
So I got a tattoo and s**... my head but I still couldn't find it.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The dog ran off last night.
I spent 20 minutes in the park looking for him. The wife said I should try looking harder. So I s**... my head and got a tattoo, but I still can't find him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Since we're doing translated jokes: here's a Greek one my father used to tell
An old man had a donkey that helped him with his daily duties. As the times got harder, the old man realized that he needed to do something about his financial situation. He had the idea to gradually reduce the amount of food he gave to the donkey.
Every day the meals of the donkey got smaller and smaller. A month has passed and the old man stopped feeding the donkey entirely. The poor animal died obviously.
Upon finding the dead donkey the old man exclaimed regretfully: "What terrible luck, as soon as that a**... learned not to need any food it died!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
5 men and 1 woman on a deserted island
Five men and one woman strand on a deserted island after their cruise ship sank. They are the only survivors. They find shelter and enough food and water to sustain them. So now they discuss the matter of s**.... They all agree that each man gets his different day of the week to have s**... with the woman. And in the weekends the woman is free to choose any or no man.
Now everything is going fine. But after 3 weeks the woman gets ill and eventually dies. The first week, the men are doing fine. The second week, it gets harder. But the third week, it becomes unbearable. That's when they decided to bury the woman.
The business deal...
A Chinese guy goes into a Jewish-owned establishment to buy black bras, size 38. The Jewish store keeper, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers. Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.
The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs.
He returns a few days later and this time orders 50.
The Jewish owner tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 each.
The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the store's remaining stock of 50 and this time for $75.00 each.
The Jewish owner is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38 bras and asks the Chinese guy, "...please tell me - What do you do with all these black bras?"
The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to Jewish men for $200.00 each.
Business is Business!
A bus full of ugly people crashes.
A bus containing only ugly people crashes violently, and all of the unfortunate passengers die. Finding themselves in Heaven, they see St Peter approaching them with the keys to the Pearly Gates.
He announces, "Since all of you were died so horribly, and none of you sinned terribly, you are each granted one wish as you go into Heaven."
The first person thinks for a second, and then decides, "I want to be gorgeous!"
Seeing the person immediately become so, the second person wishes the same thing, and so on.
After a while, the man in the back suddenly bursts out in laughter. As St Peter nears the end of the line, the man's laughter becomes more hysterical and harder to control.
When St Peter finally reached the end of the line, the man, now in tears, said, "Make 'em all ugly again."
Told by one timer to another over a game of chess at the local coffee shop.
A guys finds himself in the woods, comes up to a river and looks around sees just before the bend a priest baptizing people. He goes up to the preacher and without saying a word, the preacher grabs him and dunks him into the water. He shouts, "Have you found Jesus yet?!" The guy, catching his breath, shakes his head a says, "No." The preacher sticks him down again, this time even longer. After bringing him back up he yells again, "Have you found Jesus yet?!?!" Again the guy, hardly being able to breathe, says, "No!" The preacher thrusts him back into the water harder and almost to the point where he drowns. He brings the man back up in the last seconds and exclaims louder than previous times, "Have you found Jesus yet?!?!?!" and the man retorts, "No, are you sure he's down here?!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Homeless Girl
An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place.
He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, "Please don't call the police, mister, oh please!! If you don't, I'll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!"
The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in. Soon they were n**... and in bed together. The old man tried and tried harder, but finally, he rolls over, exhausted, and embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, young lady...but it's no use," he gasped... "I'm afraid I'm going to have to call the police after all."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The border guard
So there is this border guard and one day he sees a guy crossing the border on his bicycle with two big bags over his shoulder. The guard pulls him aside for questioning.
"What's in those bags?" the guard asks.
"Just sand." the guy replies.
The guard opens up the bags and sees that is seems to be just sand so he lets him go.
The next day the guy comes back on his bike and again he has two big bags over his shoulder. Again the guard pulls him aside.
"What's in those bags?" the guard asks.
"Sand"
The guard opens the bag and finds nothing but sand. He looks a little harder bus still can't find anything wrong.
Over the next decade the scenario repeats over and over. The border guard knows something is up and tries more sophisticated methods to try and figure it out. Dogs, chemical testing, magnets, everything. He never finds anything i**... though.
Finally, the border guard retires. All his friends and co-workers throw him a big party at a restaurant across the border. While at the party, the guard sees the guy. He decides to go and talk to him.
"Hey, it's interesting seeing you here. I'm having my retirement party right now." the guard say to him.
"Congratulations, I just retired this week myself." the guy says.
"Oh really, what job did you have?"
"I was a smuggler."
"I knew it! Well, you got away with it. So please tell me. What was it that you were smuggling?"
"Bicycles"
Pump a little harder.
There was once a woman who worked a farm with her daughter. The woman tried to teach her daughter all about the ways of the farm. Her first task was churning butter.
The mother would always have to remind the girl to "pump a little harder". She would find herself telling her daughter to pump a little harder so often, that it became the girls nickname. "Dinnnertime pumpalittleharder", "wake up pumpalittleharder, time for school!" Stuff like that.
One day a weary traveler came to the farm looking foor shelter from the storm. The woman let him in and told him not to go into her daughter's room. The man went to bed and woke up before anyone else. He went to see this daughter the woman had mentioned. He liked what he saw and laid down next to her.
After about a half an hour, the woman is awake and sees that her daughter is not doing her chores. She called out to her "Pumpalittleharder!, Pumpalittleharder!"
From upstaris the women hears the girl yell "I'm trying mommy, I'm trying!"
Little Johny comes home one day...
Little Johny came home from school one day, and while walking down the hall to his room, happened to look into his parent's room. He saw his mom laying on the bed with dad on top, going at it. At that moment, his dad looked over, and gave a little half grin to Little Johny all while going at it harder on his mom. Little Johny walked down the hall and out of sight of dad.
When they were finished, dad told mom what happened, and mom exclaimed, "You better go explain what we were doing, or he'll be scarred!" Chuckling, dad put on some pants, and walked to Little Johny's room, only to find it empty. Confused, he went to gramma's room and opened the door, only to see Little Johny pumping away at gramma. "Little Johny!" dad screamed, furious, "What do you think you"re doing!" Looking up, Little Johny said, "Yeah, not so funny when it's your mom, is it!"
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Harder To Find Than One Liners
Which harder to find than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with harder to find than? I can suggest the ones about tougher than and softer than.
- They say good dads are hard to find But bad dads are even harder to find