Harder Than Jokes
140 harder than jokes and hilarious harder than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about harder than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Harder Than Short Jokes
Short harder than jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The harder than humour may include short tougher than jokes also.
- Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women's bodies. Women's heads are much harder to put back on in real life.
- These times are harder on people with disabilities. My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table
- I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought
- If your crush is single... It is 1v20
If she is taken...
It is 1v1
Work smarter not harder - I hear that it's easier to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods but it's harder to deter gents.
- My grades are telling me to be a trophy wife but my looks are telling me to study harder.
- My ex was like a computer game. Started off easy, got a little harder and eventually I ended up cheating.
- What is brown, hairy, lives in the desert, has four legs, two humps, and is full of cement? A camel - I put in the cement just to make it harder.
- People say it takes a long time to get over your ex girlfriend I just needed to step on the gas pedal a little bit harder
- 2020 is nearly over. So either it gets even harder and defeats us. Or we make it through to next year. Either way, 2021.
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Harder Than One Liners
Which harder than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with harder than? I can suggest the ones about harder to find than and softer than.
- I had to quit my vegetarian diet Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
- What's harder the softer it gets? Typing withw my peniuasd
9damnit!) - They say good dads are hard to find But bad dads are even harder to find
- Dogs are like books The more you like them, the harder they are to put down.
- "Killing them with kindness is a lot harder than I thought" said the assassin
- Women age like fine wines... The older they get, the harder they are to come by.
- I left my job as a Concrete Worker. It just seemed to get HARDER and HARDER.
- Who hits Houston harder? Bobby Brown or Hurricane Harvey.
~Probably too soon. - Necrophilia: The Game A game where every time you die, it gets harder.
- Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
- 420 is a gateway holiday to harder, more serious holidays.
- It's easier to deter women from eating tide pods, but it's harder to... Deter-gents
- What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth? Bubblegum
- Whats the difference between working hard and working harder The emergency room
- Why do dogs run in circles? Because it's harder to run in squares.
Working Harder Than Jokes
Here is a list of funny working harder than jokes and even better working harder than puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do you ask for such a high salary if you don't have any experience? -Well, it's a lot harder to work if you have no idea what you are doing
- Chess Joke You know chess is like a mirror image of real life in a lot of ways. For instance the person playing as black doesn't always lose, but they generally have to work a lot harder.
- My mum always said, "Work hard, party harder". But since I work in a party shop, that advice just leaves me confused.
- I told my brother to work harder for his marine zoology exam... he's been coasting all year
- Recently I keep getting hit on at work. Turns out professional boxing is a lot harder than it looks.
- What does the program engineer's wife say at night. No one needs a smarty pants here. Just work harder and use that secondary brain of yours...
- "You need to work twice harder than last semester!" - my teacher And then i said, "but zero times two equals to 0 teacher"
Hits Harder Than Jokes
Here is a list of funny hits harder than jokes and even better hits harder than puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do a baseball and a Mexican have in common? The harder you hit it the more English you get
- What do a cab driver and a cue ball have in common? The harder you hit them
...the more english you get out. - The Khabib McGregor fight was certainly interesting, but you know who hits harder? Chris Brown
- Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Dropped Harder Than Jokes
Here is a list of funny dropped harder than jokes and even better dropped harder than puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The beat dropped harder than... Dora stopped exploring
- Just listened to Roses by The Chainsmokers That beat dropped harder than my grades.
- What's the difference between The Twin Towers and old people with polio? The Twin Towers drop harder
Harder Than Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about harder than you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stronger than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make harder than pranks.
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What did gay Jesus say to the romans?
Your father nailed me harder last night.
A little girl went to her dad's baseball game.
Her dad is an MLB player. He's famous for bunting the ball. The little girl doesn't understand. She thinks the point is to the swing all the way with the bat.
So, next time he bunted, the girl shouted, much to the shock of the crowd, HARDER DADDY!
Two Cops were waiting outside of a bar at closing time......
.....waiting to pop drunk drivers.
A man comes out of the bar, and he is obviously in rough shape. He is weaving all over the place, and almost falls when he trips on a curb. He fumbles with his car keys for almost two minutes, dropping them several times before he finally unlocks his car. He gets in, starts the car, and drives off.
Needless to say, the cops follow him: for several miles. The man's driving was flawless, perfect and in accordance with all traffic laws.
Finally, they decide to pull him over anyway. They turn on their lights. He pulls over instantly. They ask him to step out of the car; he calmly complies. They check his license; it is valid, and clean. They give him several field sobriety tests, each harder than the last. He passes all with flying colors.
The two cops look at each other, then the man, and ask "Sir, you aren't drunk, are you?"
"No, I'm not," says the man.
"Then why were you acting drunk when you left the bar?"
"I'm tonight's DD."
"Designated Driver?"
"No, I'm the Designated Decoy. All of my drunk friends drove off the other way."
When I was a kid in Scotland...
...I asked my dad once day
"How come you always screw the sheep on the edge of the cliffs? Isn't that kind of dangerous?"
He said "Yes, son, it is, but it makes the sheep push back a lot harder."
Music-related limerick
A tutor who taught on the flute,
tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or,
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
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Choices and Consequences
A man and his wife are having dinner for their tenth wedding anniversary. Suddenly the man bursts into tears.
"What's wrong?" the wife asks.
"I was just thinking," the man says, "about when I asked you to marry me. Your father came to me and said 'I know about all that money you embezzled from work. If you don't marry that ugly daughter of mine, I'm turning you in." The man cries harder as he says "And if I'd turned him down I'd be a free man now!"
With the situation in Ukraine...
Putin is giving a speech to his people
- My people, due Wests sanctions we'll need to tighten our belts and work harder!
Voice from the crowd:
- We will work two shifts!
- Thank you, you must be real patriot of our country! And we'll have to give up western goods and production!
- We will work three shifts!
- Such patriotism for country! By the way what's your occupation?
- I work at morgue...
What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant in the back of a car?
Getting an elephant pregnant in the back of a car.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I lost my wedding ring the other day
Had a quick check under the sofa but wasn't really that bothered until the missus came home and told me to look harder.
So I got a tattoo and s**... my head but I still couldn't find it.
"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor...
"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
"Screw you" she screamed back at me.
Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I met a girl in the park today who proved that fat girls really do try harder...
She put up a valiant effort, but that amount of chloroform would have put a rhino down.
My friend and I were finally able to laugh off how competitive we are with each other.
But I laughed harder.
I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women [FIXED]
Turns out they're way harder to pick up than I thought.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What would happen if you had an e**... constantly for the rest of your life?
Life would get harder.
Sandwich making
Two brothers shared a bedroom, bunk beds. The older brother had the top bunk. He wanted to bring his girlfriend over to spend the night. He tells his girlfriend if she wants it faster say lettuce, harder say tomato.
The younger brother wakes up hearing, "lettuce, tomato, lettuce, lettuce, tomato." He yells up to his older brother and says, "I know you guys are making sandwiches up there but can you stop dropping the mayo!"
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Why do Scotsmen screw their sheep by the side of a cliff?
Because they push back harder.
What's harder to pull out of than Iraq?
Bristol Palin.
School in US would be 10 times easier if we use metric system, 12 times harder if we don't.
Why should you not throw stones at a knight?
Because heavy metal is harder than rock.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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The only thing harder than diamonds
a r**... at his family reunion
My girlfriend told me our safe-word was too easy to forget
I said, "Ok, let's make it 'harder.' "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Rubix cubes are like p**......
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Motivational words from Stevie Wonder.
I have lived life through a lot of troubles and made it through each and every one of them.
Being a musician is hard and making money to support myself was even harder. Being blind didn't make anything easier, but I made due.
One thing I can say I am thankful for is.
At least I'm not black.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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"You don't have to press the b**... harder to go faster"
Said no gamer ever.
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What's harder than nailing 10 dead babies to a tree?
Nailing one dead baby to 10 trees.
Please stop
A guy jumps a car on a bike and crashes hard. doctors amputate both his legs.Being the daredevil that he is he jumps his wheelchair over a bus and again crashes even harder. He's so messed up now the doctors have to do a full body amputation.His family plead with him to stop while he's ahead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What's it like living with Permanent e**... Disorder?
Some days are harder than others.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Anyone know of an e**... service that offers an affordable bj?
My hatchback has been harder to stop lately.
My wife said that I need to pay more attention to what's going on around me.
So, in 2015, I'm going to try harder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Golden State Warriors "No one can choke harder than we did."
Atlanta Falcons "Hold my beer."
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Pregnant elephants
What is harder then getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?
Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.
I'm taking a gunsmithing class and this was in the text book with no context. Just stuffed between a paragraph on s**... pins and one on replacing firing pins.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Why is it more difficult for men to pee when they have an e**...?
I don't know. Its just harder i guess.
If a light sleeper sleeps lighter with the light on, does a hard sleeper sleep harder with...
the window open?
From my 88 year old grandma
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Tests
Two guys were crying in front of a hospital when they meet a common friend of theirs. The friend asked them why they were crying.
First guy: I was here for a blood test and they cut my finger for blood sample.
The friend said it's perfectly natural and thats how they take a sample. The second guy immediately started crying harder then before. The friend got confused and asked him what happened.
Second guy: I'm here for u**... test.
Not sure which is the harder part about being vegan
The discipline and focus it takes to eat that way, or the time and energy it takes to tell everyone you're a vegan.
Why is harder to make toast in Australia?
Because Australian bread is damper.
Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
Submitting this while I'm in a car...
Don't worry... I'm in the passenger seat, which makes it harder to drive but fools the COPS.
I tried to be politically correct for the holidays this year
but "Caucasian Christmas" proved considerably harder to sing than I expected...
What does a bumper sticker and an old man have in common?
The older they are, the harder they are to get off.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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When I get nervous on stage people say "imagine the audience n**..."
But that just makes it harder for me.
My sister failed high school and has never been in a relationship
I told her "If you tried harder, you could have gotten a D"
I organized a strike for my university
It's a lot harder than you think when it's an online university.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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The dog ran off last night.
I spent 20 minutes in the park looking for him. The wife said I should try looking harder. So I s**... my head and got a tattoo, but I still can't find him.
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Beads of sweat were running down her cleavage. Her breathing was hot and heavy.
She moaned as she gained momentum by rocking her hips harder and harder, preparing for the final climactic effort she knew was coming soon. Then, in one final full-body t**..., it was all over, and she breathed a deep sigh of relief and satisfaction. It's always a struggle when the wife gets up off the sofa.
I feel sorry for school children now
It must be so much harder to convince the teacher that your dog deleted your homework.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Hiding an e**... isn't as easy as you may think...
It's harder than it looks...
Making jokes about ISIS is harder than it seems
If you tell one in bad taste, everybody starts losing their heads.
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Life is like an e**......
The more you think about it, the harder it gets.
I was talking to a German in English the other week, but he was struggling to understand me.
Although he wouldn't have had a problem if his ancestors had fought a bit harder
A man walks into a talent agency with his dog claiming it can talk. The agent says, ok, let's see if this dog is gonna make us rich . The guy says, Fido, what's the top of a house called ? Roof! What's on a tree ? Bark! How does sandpaper feel ? Ruff!
The talent agent tells the man off and kicks him out of his office. As the man and the dog are walking down the street the dog looks up at the man and says, Gee Bob, maybe you should have asked some harder questions .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I'm glad we have that s**... offender registry.
Without, It would be so much harder to find new, like-minded friends in the neighborhood.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What snapped harder than Thanos' finger?
Gwen stacy's neck
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A New Zealand man wants to have lots of kids.
"Would you have a baby with me?" he asks his wife.
"Of course!"
"Would you have two with me?" he asks.
After a pause, she says "Yeah that sounds like a good number."
"How about four? Would you have four with me?"
She thinks harder this time. "I suppose four wouldn't be so bad."
Encouraged, he asks "Would you have six with me?"
"Well how the h**... else are we going to get all these kids?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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People stabbing Julius Caesar were expecting a lot of things.......
Hearing Harder daddy! Was not one of them
Quarantining and social distancing for coronavirus has caused dating to become less distinct
It's harder to make out
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My friend keeps beating kids in games
It's fine and all except the game is "Who punches harder?"
It's significantly harder for athletes to perform in todays temperatures
I've read in the newspaper that the Government has forbidden fans at sport events
I hate when my roommates throw cigarettes in the toilet for two reasons.
A: it's disgusting and B: they are harder to light.
It seems harder to catch air in the new Tony Hawk game for PS4
They did that to commemorate 2020
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Mom, Dad, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom........ I'm gay.
Coming out is harder in a Fundamentalist m**... family.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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3 men in a nursing home are sitting and reminiscing.
First man says, I wish I could just go pee as easily when I was younger. It's getting harder and harder to do so as the years pass.
The second guy says, I can pee just fine but I would give anything to be able to p**... with no trouble. It's getting more difficult even with fruits and veggies.
Last guy says, Oh, I have no problem with that. Every morning at 8:00 I just go like the Nile. Then at 8:30 I c**... till everything's out. Now if only I could wake up before 9:00.
My wife asked me to get something that would give me bigger, harder, longer lasting erections.
Apparently she didn't mean "a 23-year-old girlfriend".