Harder Jokes

132 harder jokes and hilarious harder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about harder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover a collection of harder than the usual jokes sure to test your sense of humor. From the tough tasks of laughing at firmer puns to the louder than normal zingers, find out how you fare with these hard hitting jokes.

Funniest Harder Short Jokes

Short harder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The harder humour may include short stronger jokes also.

  1. Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women's bodies. Women's heads are much harder to put back on in real life.
  2. These times are harder on people with disabilities. My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table
  3. I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns. It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops.
  4. I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought
  5. Golden State Warriors "No one can choke harder than we did." Atlanta Falcons "Hold my beer."
  6. If your crush is single... It is 1v20
    If she is taken...
    It is 1v1
    Work smarter not harder
  7. I hear that it's easier to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods but it's harder to deter gents.
  8. My friend keeps beating kids in games It's fine and all except the game is "Who punches harder?"
  9. My grades are telling me to be a trophy wife but my looks are telling me to study harder.
  10. My ex was like a computer game. Started off easy, got a little harder and eventually I ended up cheating.

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Harder One Liners

Which harder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with harder? I can suggest the ones about longer and easier.

  1. I had to quit my vegetarian diet Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
  2. My boyfriend and I always laugh about how competitive we are But I laugh harder
  3. What's harder the softer it gets? Typing withw my peniuasd
  4. It's pretty easy to stop women from eating tide pods But it's a bit harder to deter gents
  5. Fat people are harder to kidnap But skinny people are worth less at the meat market
  6. They say good dads are hard to find But bad dads are even harder to find
  7. Dogs are like books The more you like them, the harder they are to put down.
  8. "Killing them with kindness is a lot harder than I thought" said the assassin
  9. Why is school in Mexico a lot harder? Because they have a lot of esé's
  10. It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide pods. But it's harder to deter gents.
  11. Women age like fine wines... The older they get, the harder they are to come by.
  12. I left my job as a Concrete Worker. It just seemed to get HARDER and HARDER.
  13. What snapped harder than Thanos' finger? Gwen stacy's neck
  14. Who hits Houston harder? Bobby Brown or Hurricane Harvey.
    ~Probably too soon.
  15. Necrophilia: The Game A game where every time you die, it gets harder.

Harder Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny harder than jokes and even better harder than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My favorite winter Olympic sport is women's curling... Because it's the one time every four years I can yell, sweep harder at a woman, and no one thinks it's because I'm a sexist pig.
  • What is brown, hairy, lives in the desert, has four legs, two humps, and is full of cement? A camel - I put in the cement just to make it harder.
  • People say it takes a long time to get over your ex girlfriend I just needed to step on the gas pedal a little bit harder
  • 2020 is nearly over. So either it gets even harder and defeats us. Or we make it through to next year. Either way, 2021.
  • I met a girl in the park today who proved that fat girls really do try harder... She put up a valiant effort, but that amount of chloroform would have put a rhino down.
  • People say the first year of marriage is the hardest Trust me, the last year is way, way harder.
  • At the weekend, I like to play chess with elderly men in the park. But it's becoming increasingly harder.. find exactly 32 of them.
  • Music-related limerick A tutor who taught on the flute,
    tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
    Said the two to the tutor,
    "Is it harder to toot or,
    to tutor two tooters to toot?"
  • I took an astronomy class in college but it was harder than I expected. I had to study day and night.
  • My wife asked me to get something that would give me bigger, harder, longer lasting erections. Apparently she didn't mean "a 23-year-old girlfriend".

Working Harder Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny working harder than jokes and even better working harder than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I saw a little girl crying, so I approached her and asked "Where are your parents??", and she started to cry even harder. God I love working at the Orphanage!
  • Why do you ask for such a high salary if you don't have any experience? -Well, it's a lot harder to work if you have no idea what you are doing
  • Chess Joke You know chess is like a mirror image of real life in a lot of ways. For instance the person playing as black doesn't always lose, but they generally have to work a lot harder.
  • Whats the difference between working hard and working harder The emergency room
  • My mum always said, "Work hard, party harder". But since I work in a party shop, that advice just leaves me confused.
  • I told my brother to work harder for his marine zoology exam... he's been coasting all year
  • Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.
  • Recently I keep getting hit on at work. Turns out professional boxing is a lot harder than it looks.
  • What does the program engineer's wife say at night. No one needs a smarty pants here. Just work harder and use that secondary brain of yours...
  • I said my boss, "his new car is very nice." He said, if I put every day goals and work harder and do better, he could get the newer one in the next year.
Harder joke, I said my boss, "his new car is very nice."

Harder To Find Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny harder to find than jokes and even better harder to find than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm glad we have that s**... offender registry. Without, It would be so much harder to find new, like-minded friends in the neighborhood.
  • The dog ran off last night. I spent 20 minutes in the park looking for him. The wife said I should try looking harder. So I s**... my head and got a tattoo, but I still can't find him.
  • There's a s**... born every minute Swallowers are harder to find

Hits Harder Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny hits harder than jokes and even better hits harder than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do a baseball and a Mexican have in common? The harder you hit it the more English you get
  • If we're going to do racist jokes How's a Mexican like a cue ball?
    The harder you hit it the more English it picks up!
  • What do a cab driver and a cue ball have in common? The harder you hit them
    ...the more english you get out.
  • The Khabib McGregor fight was certainly interesting, but you know who hits harder? Chris Brown
  • Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Harder joke

Share Hilarious Harder Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about harder you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tighter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make harder pranks.

When I was a kid in Scotland...

...I asked my dad once day
"How come you always screw the sheep on the edge of the cliffs? Isn't that kind of dangerous?"
He said "Yes, son, it is, but it makes the sheep push back a lot harder."

Why did the prisoners switch to liquid soap in the shower?

Because it's harder to pick up.

A bus full of ugly people crashes

A bus full of ugly people crashes and everyone inside now stands at the gates of heaven. St. Peter announces to them "Before you enter heaven, I will grant unto each of you one wish." He approaches the first ugly person and the man says "I wish I was beautiful." Right as he says this the last ugly person in line starts to chuckle. So one by one St. Peter goes down the line, each person wishes "I wish I was beautiful", and every time someone wishes that, the last person laughs harder and harder. Finally, St. Peter reaches the last man, who at this point is on the ground crying he's laughing so hard. St. Peter asks him "Well, what is your wish?" to which the man replies, "Make them all ugly again!"

With the situation in Ukraine...

Putin is giving a speech to his people
- My people, due Wests sanctions we'll need to tighten our belts and work harder!
Voice from the crowd:
- We will work two shifts!
- Thank you, you must be real patriot of our country! And we'll have to give up western goods and production!
- We will work three shifts!
- Such patriotism for country! By the way what's your occupation?
- I work at morgue...

I lost my wedding ring the other day

Had a quick check under the sofa but wasn't really that bothered until the missus came home and told me to look harder.
So I got a tattoo and s**... my head but I still couldn't find it.

"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor...

"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
"Screw you" she screamed back at me.
Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital!

My friend and I were finally able to laugh off how competitive we are with each other.

But I laughed harder.

420 is a gateway holiday to harder, more serious holidays.

Sandwich making

Two brothers shared a bedroom, bunk beds. The older brother had the top bunk. He wanted to bring his girlfriend over to spend the night. He tells his girlfriend if she wants it faster say lettuce, harder say tomato.
The younger brother wakes up hearing, "lettuce, tomato, lettuce, lettuce, tomato." He yells up to his older brother and says, "I know you guys are making sandwiches up there but can you stop dropping the mayo!"

School in US would be 10 times easier if we use metric system, 12 times harder if we don't.

Apparently, over 80% of people...

Apparently, over 80% of people don't know the opposites the the following words...
1) Always

2) Coming
3) From
4) Take
5) Me
6) Down
It's even harder, I'm told, to read the opposites of those words out loud.

The only thing harder than diamonds

a r**... at his family reunion

What's harder than nailing 10 dead babies to a tree?

Nailing one dead baby to 10 trees.

Please stop

A guy jumps a car on a bike and crashes hard. doctors amputate both his legs.Being the daredevil that he is he jumps his wheelchair over a bus and again crashes even harder. He's so messed up now the doctors have to do a full body amputation.His family plead with him to stop while he's ahead.

My wife said that I need to pay more attention to what's going on around me.

So, in 2015, I'm going to try harder.

Pregnant elephants

What is harder then getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?
Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.
I'm taking a gunsmithing class and this was in the text book with no context. Just stuffed between a paragraph on s**... pins and one on replacing firing pins.

Why is it more difficult for men to pee when they have an e**...?

I don't know. Its just harder i guess.

Absence may make the heart grow fonder...

But abstinence makes the d**... grow harder.


Two guys were crying in front of a hospital when they meet a common friend of theirs. The friend asked them why they were crying.
First guy: I was here for a blood test and they cut my finger for blood sample.
The friend said it's perfectly natural and thats how they take a sample. The second guy immediately started crying harder then before. The friend got confused and asked him what happened.
Second guy: I'm here for u**... test.

Not sure which is the harder part about being vegan

The discipline and focus it takes to eat that way, or the time and energy it takes to tell everyone you're a vegan.

Crocodiles are easy.

They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)

I heard its easy to convince women not to eat tide pods..

but it's a lot harder to **deter gents**.

When I get nervous on stage people say "imagine the audience n**..."

But that just makes it harder for me.

Beads of sweat were running down her cleavage. Her breathing was hot and heavy.

She moaned as she gained momentum by rocking her hips harder and harder, preparing for the final climactic effort she knew was coming soon. Then, in one final full-body t**..., it was all over, and she breathed a deep sigh of relief and satisfaction. It's always a struggle when the wife gets up off the sofa.

Hiding an e**... isn't as easy as you may think...

It's harder than it looks...

Making jokes about ISIS is harder than it seems

If you tell one in bad taste, everybody starts losing their heads.

Life is like an e**......

The more you think about it, the harder it gets.

A New Zealand man wants to have lots of kids.

"Would you have a baby with me?" he asks his wife.
"Of course!"
"Would you have two with me?" he asks.
After a pause, she says "Yeah that sounds like a good number."
"How about four? Would you have four with me?"
She thinks harder this time. "I suppose four wouldn't be so bad."
Encouraged, he asks "Would you have six with me?"
"Well how the h**... else are we going to get all these kids?"

It's significantly harder for athletes to perform in todays temperatures

I've read in the newspaper that the Government has forbidden fans at sport events

I hate when my roommates throw cigarettes in the toilet for two reasons.

A: it's disgusting and B: they are harder to light.

It seems harder to catch air in the new Tony Hawk game for PS4

They did that to commemorate 2020

Mom, Dad, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom........ I'm gay.

Coming out is harder in a Fundamentalist m**... family.

3 men in a nursing home are sitting and reminiscing.

First man says, I wish I could just go pee as easily when I was younger. It's getting harder and harder to do so as the years pass.
The second guy says, I can pee just fine but I would give anything to be able to p**... with no trouble. It's getting more difficult even with fruits and veggies.
Last guy says, Oh, I have no problem with that. Every morning at 8:00 I just go like the Nile. Then at 8:30 I c**... till everything's out. Now if only I could wake up before 9:00.

A manager examined a job application, then turned to the applicant and said, "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary."

*"Well, the work is much harder when you don't know what you are doing."*

Why is quantum physics so much harder than regular physics?

Because in regular physics, if something can go wrong, it will.
But in quantum physics, if something *could* go wrong, it will.

Pregnant Wife

My wife has been so moody since she became pregnant. I asked her to push harder and she began yelling and calling me names.
I said, "Let me know if you have a better way to get the car out of the mud."

My wife is divorcing me because I keep getting a**... by serious situations. She tried to explain it away, but I said, "Baby, please...

"Don't make this harder than it already is."

A group of old friends met at a resort for their annual vacation.

They had a long-standing tradition of sharing jokes with each other. They'd been doing this so long that they just assigned numbers to the jokes to make it easier to tell them.
Someone would shout out 24 or 13 and everyone would laugh.
This went on for a long and then one person yelled 52 and they all laughed harder than normal. One of the newbies to the group, who was completely lost, asked why that joke was so funny.
Oh, that was a new one.

What do Rubik's cubes and your wee wee have in common?

Well for most people the more you play with them the harder they get... for me, I play with them for a few seconds and then it's finished.

My physics teacher in rural Iowa said I'd pass his class when pigs fly, because I wasn't applying myself.

Well, I tried harder but ended up getting expelled, even though he never specified that the pig had to sustain flight on its own.

I matched with a g**... Tinder

She asked, "how tall are you?"
I replied, "5'10, how much do you weigh?"
She got angry and said, "That's body shaming, it's hard to lose weight!"
I laughed and said, "it's harder for me to gain height!"

I put a special epoxy in my sealant and I'm pretty excited about it.

My caulk's never been harder!

Why didn't Jesus walk on water after his resurrection?

It's a h**... of a lot harder to with holes in your feet...

Harder joke, Why didn't Jesus walk on water after his resurrection?

jokes about harder