Hard Jokes

Funniest Hard Short Jokes

Short hard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hard humour may include short heavy jokes also.

1. My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
2. Harry Potter has way too many characters... Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.
   
3. My boss said to me, "you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?" I said, "I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."
4. Corona must have hit India hard... I´ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
   Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer.
5. my wife left me because i'm obssesed with africa kenya believe it?
   and we have two kids together, this divorce is ghana be so hard on them
6. I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park. It's just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it .
7. Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. concrete floors are really hard to crack.
   Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"
8. A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".
9. For my birthday, the only thing I got was a deck of sticky playing cards. I find that very hard to deal with.
10. I told my son he couldn't get a fidget spinner because his dad and I have tried so hard to make sure he didn't become autistic... Unfortunately he died of measles a couple days ago

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Hard One Liners

Which hard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hard? I can suggest the ones about soft and rough.

1. I don't get why people say cancer is hard to beat I'm already on Stage 4
2. How do find the blind man at the nudist colony? It's not hard.
3. When I was young, I was poor. After many years of hard work, I am no longer young.
4. Braille isn't that hard to learn... You just have to get a feel for it
5. What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s? Your spine
6. Why is it so hard to do inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally-ban.
7. It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... Because they always take things literally.
8. My wife and I decided to not have kids the kids took it pretty hard
9. Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long? Because old Hobbits die hard...
10. Friend: "how hard is it to get upvotes on reddit?" I told him it was a piece of cake.
11. Why do Romans always have a hard time ending relationships? Their X is always a 10.
12. They say being a hostage is hard But I could do that with my hands tied behind my back.
13. My favourite Haiku Space is limited
    In a haiku, so it's hard
    To finish what you
14. Went to the doctor's today, he told me I was going deaf That news was hard for me to hear
15. Why does Indiana Jones have such a hard time getting a girlfriend? Bad dates.

Working Hard Jokes

Here is a list of funny working hard jokes and even better working hard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• After 37 years I'm finally ready to retire with $5,000,000 I've accumulated through hard work, careful saving, living a life of simple means... ...and the death of an uncle who left me $4,999,996.50
• Let's all take a moment to Thank Amber Heard's team of Lawyers for their efforts and hard work to prove Johnny Depp's innocence.
• David was hard at work... it was really quite awkward for his coworkers.
• I got fired from my job.. ..for being a pervert
  I don't understand why, though, I'm always hard at work.
• I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up I now suffer from anxiety and depression
• I always wanted to be an exorcist So I studied and worked real hard to become an orcist. Then I quit.
• I used to live paycheck to paycheck But now I can happily say that after years of hard work and perseverance; I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
• So there I was hard at work Then all of a sudden my boss tells me to step out of the meeting because I was making my colleagues uncomfortable
• A man diagnosed with cancer was given six months to live, but he worked hard and proved them wrong. He killed himself three hours later.
• Working with horses is hard but it's stable work.

Hard Man Jokes

Here is a list of funny hard man jokes and even better hard man puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Becoming a garbage man isn't hard.... you just pick it up as you go along.
  ^^^*I'm* ^^^*terribly* ^^^*sorry*
• A young woman walks into a dry cleaner She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
  Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"
  
  She responds, "No, it's yogurt"
• What does a Polish man give his wife on their wedding night that's long and hard? His last name
• I told my date that a man like me is hard to find, and she didn't believe me. So I said, "Just ask the police."
• A man is caught staring so hard at his marriage certificate by his wife... She asks him what he's looking for.
  He replies, "oh just the expiration date!"
• A man works hard to name an interval equal to 24 hours. so he calls it a day.
• What do you call a Mongol leader who swindles people out of their hard earned cash? Ghengis Khan Man.
• What do you call a man who boasts of three erections per day? A tri-hard.
• In the bible, Samson was a tough man. But his father Samsonite was a real hard case.
• Why did the man quit working at the cemetery? It was hard to make a living.

Hard Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny hard day jokes and even better hard day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• They Say "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life". Sure enough... All of these felony convictions are making it awfully hard to get a job.
• Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the hard work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
• I was driving around in my tricycle all day I worked it so hard, it lost a wheel. The tricycle is two tired now.
• I would like to be poor one day. Because being poor everyday it's hard...
• I learned the other day that a group of baboons is called a Congress I found it extremely insulting to the hard work and productivity of baboons.
• I don't understand why people say it's hard to quit smoking I have done it twenty times a day for years now.
• My co-worker takes a small blue pill with his coffee every day at 8am He's likes to work hard in the mornings
• An apple a day keeps the doctor away... ... If you throw it hard enough
• Why is it hard for Liam Neeson to enjoy Valentine's Day? Because all the girls are taken
• Two blondes talking... "I took a pregnancy test the other day..."
  "Oh dear, were the questions hard?"

Hard Of Hearing Jokes

Here is a list of funny hard of hearing jokes and even better hard of hearing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a little boy made of pasta who comes to life? Pi-gnocchi-o
  (I really wish you could hear how hard I'm laughing to myself)
• A boy is loudly praying, "God please give me a bicycle." His mom asks, "why are you praying so loudly? God isn't hard of hearing."
  The boy replies, "yes but grandma is."
• Did you know? If you put a hard hat up to your ear... ...you can hear the OSHA
• I hear cancer is hard to beat No one got past stage 4.
• Did you hear about the alligator who couldn't get a hard-on? He had a reptile dysfunction.
  
• Did you hear about the two mute people who were telling each other jokes? They laughed so hard they broke their fingers.
• [OC] Did you hear the political interview in regards to homosexuality? It was hard to get a straight answer.
• Did you hear the local concrete plant was flooded last week? They're having a hard time moving inventory now.
• Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row? He was a Die Hard fan.
• Did you hear about the guy and girl who mutually decided to break up because the guy had ED? There were no hard feelings.

Cheerful Hard Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about hard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tough jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hard pranks.