Hard Hat Jokes
8 hard hat jokes and hilarious hard hat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hard hat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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What is a good hard hat joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Did you know? If you put a hard hat up to your ear...
...you can hear the OSHA
A millionaire,a hard hat, and a cheapskate are at a bar.
When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug.
The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then sips the new one.
The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly then quaffs the rest.
It's now the cheapskate's turn: He sticks his hand in the beer, grabs the fly, and shouts, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!"
What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat?
A boa constructor
I forgot my hard hat when I went to the building site...
Health and safety came down on me like a tonne of bricks.
The nun at church
The nun at church is always wearing a titanium hat. When I asked her about it... she said it was a hard habit to break.
Some jokes are intentionally hard to understand...
This joke for instance, is like a hat.
Arrested While Fishing
So I was fishing by this lake one day when a few nice fellows come walking by, presumably on their way back into town. These hard-hat wearing men told me they'd been working in a cave all day long, we joked about how we'd have a beer or 5 when we all got back to our homes. And they were very interested in my fishing pole. Being the fishing enthusiast that I am, I was happy to show the guys my whole line set up, my secret techniques, I even showed them some awesome tips on where to fish. Next thing I know - I see 2 Cop cars pull up. Frantic officers jump out and boom! Knee in my back, face on the ground, handcuffs clicking. Sir, you are under arrest! to which I replied, For what?! I've got my fishing license!"
For exposing your rod to minors and teaching them how to master bait."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the light buld and the other 9 to say "that should be me up there"
2) How many g**... does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one but it takes a whole emergancy room to screw it back out again
3) How many English men does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, One to climb the British standard safety ladder while wearing a high vis jacket and hard hat while the other one carries out a whole risk assessmennt and cancels the operation as it is deemed unsafe.
4) How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ve are asking ze qvestions here!
5) How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? 250,000. One to change the lightbulb and 249,999 to debate whether it was politically correct.
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