Hard Drive Jokes
123 hard drive jokes and hilarious hard drive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hard drive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Hard Drive Short Jokes
Short hard drive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hard drive humour may include short flash drive jokes also.
- Two FBI agents search an office and find a hard drive with "KGB" on it... One of the agents asks the other, "Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"
- Me: Boss, I'm sorry I am late. I was having computer issues. Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It was my computer. - Why does the toyota Prius have more accidents on record than any other car? It's really hard to drive safe while patting yourself on the back.
- I was driving around in my tricycle all day I worked it so hard, it lost a wheel. The tricycle is two tired now.
- So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
- They tried to combine a networked hard drive with a device that brewed drinks... It was NAS-tea
- why was the computer late to work? because it had a hard drive! (stole it from ellen, from her classic joke tuesday)
- What Did The Hard Drive Get When It Wanted Data But Didn't Have The Resources? A Cache-Advance
- Well it finally happened; my beloved computer stopped working. Took it to the shop for a new one. It was such a hard drive.
- How are snowflakes and people similar? It's hard to drive when they're piled up on the road.
Share These Hard Drive Jokes With Friends
Hard Drive One Liners
Which hard drive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hard drive? I can suggest the ones about computer hardware and floppy disk.
- Hey girl, are you a computer? Because you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.
- Why was the computer mad when he got home? It had a hard drive
- Why was the computer late? Because it had a hard drive
- I got invited to test a new car made entirely of spare computer parts It was a hard drive
- Why do computers hate going to their file storage? Because it's a hard drive.
- I ate my roommates 1TB hard drive Wasn't easy, it took 1000000000000 bytes
- How do you eat a hard drive? One byte at a time
- Have you ever taken a road trip to the Seagate factory? It's a hard drive.
- My dog ate my computer's hard drive. He took a megabyte.
- What do you call it when data goes on a difficult car journey? A hard drive
- What do Jews drive? A hard bargain
- Why did the computer take so long to arrive? It had a hard drive
- A sculptor made a beautiful hard drive from mahogany... but it was all bark and no bytes
- My broken hard drive got sent back to china for repair. I had to deport it.
- Hey baby, are you a cloud server? Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Rib-Tickling Hard Drive Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about hard drive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean computer server jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hard drive pranks.
Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!
Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Baby, let's configure our hard drives in master and s**... position.
Someone broke into my house and stole my external hard drive; they really got my backup.
"What's wrong with my computer?"
"It looks like your hard drive went soft."
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
*RANT TIME* Please can we stop with the flashing blue outdoor Christmas lights this year ?
Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the w**..., fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the machete under the seat, all while trying to drive.
It's just too much drama, even for Christmas.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So there's this man with a parrot.
And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a p**.... He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the t**..., shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women like I like my hard drives...
FAT and 32.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy buys an old brass lamp at a flea market
He takes it home, and starts to clean it up. He rubs it a few times with a polishing cloth, and a genie pops out.
The guy says, "Hey, look at that, a genie. I get three wishes, right?
The genie says, "Sorry, no. People were wishing for all kinds of crazy stuff, so we had to cut it down. You get to choose from one of two wishes. You can wish for a better s**... life, or a better golf game.
The guy thinks about it for a bit, and says, "You know, my short game hasn't improved in years, no matter how hard I try. I'd like a better golf game."
The genie says, "Really? I haven't been at this genie thing for that long, but you are the first guy I've had who wanted a better golf game. You must get more chicks than Hugh Hefner.
"Oh, nothing like that."
"But still, you must be getting it two or three times a day."
"Be serious"
"Once a day at least"
"No, not that often"
"Well, what's your s**... life like?"
"I probably average once or twice a week."
"You're getting laid once or twice a week and you don't think that there's room for improvement?
The guy says, "Well, I think I do pretty well for a priest in a small town who doesn't drive."
Regular Russia, not the Soviet one
Ivan and Igor are standing at a bus stop in Russia. It is freezing cold and raining hard. A limo drives by and splashes icy water all over them. Ivan says to Igor, This is a terrible place to live, I want to go to America. Igor responses, Why do think America would be any better. Ivan stares at Igor in disbelief, Do you know what would happen in America? If a limo drove by and splashed you, the rich man would pull over, apologize, help you into the car, take you to his home, make you nice drink, feed you dinner, let you sleep in his warm bed, and then, the next morning, he would drop you off where ever you wanted to go. Igor says, Really? This happened to you?! Ivan, No, my wife.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
20 reasons why chocolate is better than s**...
1. you can *get* chocolate.
2. 'if you love me you'll s**... it' has real meaning with chocolate.
3. chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. you can safely have chocolate while driving.
5. you can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6. you can have chocolate in front of your mother.
7. if you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate doesn't mind.
8. two people of the same s**... can have chocolate without being called n**... names.
9. the word 'commitment' doesn't scare off chocolate.
10. you can have chocolate on top of your worktable or desk during working hours without upsetting your coworkers.
11. you can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12. you don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13. with chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14. chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15. you can have chocolate any time of the month.
16. good chocolate is easy to find.
17. you can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18. you are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19. when you have chocolate it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
20. with chocolate, size doesn't matter.
A man arrives in heaven.
He's met at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who consults his book and tells the man that his sins weigh almost evenly against his righteousness and the angel is having a hard time deciding whether to let him into heaven.
"Listen," says St. Peter. "Tell me of a selfless act you performed to convince me you are truly good."
So the man says, "Well I was driving across the state one time and I saw a group of bikers dragging a screaming woman off road, away from her car. I pulled over and ran to them shouting to let her go."
"Well that certainly was brave," said St. Peter. "When did you do that?"
"About five minutes ago."
What's a hard drive's favorite band?
Data Remember
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You Passionate
Guy I work with tells this story of working on the road, being hard up, and deciding to pick up this h**.... Of course she is not the classiest of broads and a little strung out. She gets in the car and they talk about going back to the motel room to party, but she wants to stop at the liquor store first. "Oh yeah, baby, no problem."
So they're driving down the road getting frisky and talking dirty and this girl is a freak. Squirming all around in her seat and rubbing her hands all up and down his leg and across his junk. She is n**.... She says, "Sugar, you passionate."
"Oh yeah! I'm passionate, alright. I am gonna do you so good, you're gonna have to pay me."
"No sugar! You passionate! You pash'n the liquor sto!"
Christmas
His teacher asked young Patrick Murphy: "What do you do at Christmastime?
Patrick addressed the class: "Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight mass and we sing hymns; then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys.
"Very nice Patrick," she said. "Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?" Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents.
Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?"
Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year...Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce; then we drive to Dad's toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves...and begin to sing: What A Friend We Have in Jesus. Then we all go to the Bahamas .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is driving down the road when...
Out of nowhere a boy chases a ball into the street, directly in front of the man's car. He slams on the brakes, but strikes the boy at a relatively high speed. He jumps out of the car and sees the boy is in bad shape. He, in a panic, doesn't know what to do.
"Should I get you a Priest??" he asks the boy.
The boy, both his legs broken, covered in blood, and who can hardly open one eye, looks up at the man and is barely able to manage a few words.
"How can you think about s**... at a time like this?"
A priest & a driver arrives at heaven's gate, guarded by St. Peter.
Upon arrival at heaven's gate, St. Peters asks which one of the two is the driver, and the driver replied "Me!".
"Alright, come on in to heaven."
The priest asks "How about me?"
"Well, the reason why I'm not letting you in is that, when you're preaching all your followers are asleep, whereas when the driver's driving, all the passengers are praying hard.''
*Told by our tour guide in Israel, don't mind the mediocre translation.*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You're like my hard drive.
Fat and 32
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... in Public!!!
A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate. They decided to pull over and park and have some fun.
Things were really getting hot, and they were not paying any attention to what was going on outside. All of a sudden a policeman was tapping on their window. The cop could hardly contain himself.
"Didn't you know that you are not supposed to be having s**... in public?" he asked the couple.
Being embarrassed by being caught, they said yes and apologized.
"Well, he said, I will have to write you a ticket."
So the cop wrote the ticket and reminded them next time to watch their behavior. After getting dressed, the girl asked her boyfriend what the policeman wrote the ticket for.
He responded, "Doing 69 in a 40 Kph speed zone!"
Why is owning a Prius difficult?
It's hard to drive when you're patting yourself on the back all the time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens when you combine TNT with a hard drive?
It gets blown to ***bits!***
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a man is set up on a blind date with a Sunday school teacher...
He was worried about possibly going out with a p**... but decided to give it a shot anyway. He took her out to dinner and asked what kind of wine should they order. She responded "Oh no, I couldn't have a drink. What would I tell my Sunday school?"
Disappointed, he realized this date was getting a little lame.
As they left the restaurant he offered her a cigarette.
"Oh no, I couldn't have a cigarette. What would I tell my Sunday school?"
Well he decided to drive her home as it didn't look like the night was going anywhere.
As they drove down the Boulevard they passed a motel. The woman looked hard at the man and said "Do you want to get a room?"
Stunned, the man pulled over, got a room and she proceeded to give him the wildest night of his life.
Lying spent on the bed, the man said "Wow... That was fantastic! But... What will you tell the Sunday school?"
"You don't have to drink and smoke to have a good time."
Smarter Generation
"The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students took over. ""Your hard drive crashed,"" he said.
I called the computer services office and explained, ""My computer is down. The hard drive crashed.""
""We can't just send people down on your say-so. How do you know that's the problem?""
""A student told me,"" I answered.
""We'll send someone over right away."""
Life Before The Computer
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 inch floppy ..
... you just hoped nobody ever found out!!
A cop pulls over a driver with a broken tail light...
The officer approaches the driver of the vehicle and asks how long he has been driving with a broken tail light. Without answering the question the driver jumps out of his car, runs to the rear of his vehicle and groans. Seeing he was upset the officer tried to cheer him up slightly "come on now, don't take it so hard. Its not that serious."
"It isn't?" Replied the driver, "then do you know what happened to my boat and trailer?"
Why do male prostitutes make more money than females?
Because they always drive a *Hard* bargain. :D
Samsung developed an infinite space hard drive.
Only problem is they're still formatting it.
What do you call taking a big chomp out of a hard drive sandwich?
A Gigabite!
What happens when a hard drive platter is shattered?
File fragmentation
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Will I Live to see 80?
Will I Live to see 80?
Here's something to think about.
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, He
said I was doing fairly well for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think
I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then He asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive motor-cycles, drive fast cars, or have a lot of s**...?'
'No,' I said...
He looked at me and said,.. 'Then, why do you even give a s**...?'
My dad asked me a bit about computers...
...so the CPU is like the brain of a computer, and hard drives store all your files.
Dad: What about soft drives?
How do you format a hard drive full of Adelle songs?
FAT
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How big was o**... bin Laden's hard drive?
One terrorbyte.
LPT: If you ever find that your hard drive has been wiped, don't worry!
Just call the NSA, they'll have have all your information backed up
A recent study showed that Alcohol contains female hormones.
In the study, ten men were told to each drink 10 pints. By the end of it, none of them could drive, and everything they said was hard to listen to.
When Your Computer Is Slow...
Cancer crawled in the hard drive
What do you call a hard drive in a hydraulic press?
File compression
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the hard drive c**...?
Because it had a bad driver.
Golf is a lot like taxes -
you drive hard to get to the green and end up in the hole.
I like formatting my hard drives like I like my pizza
Deep Disc
So, my wife installed Windows 10 on my desktop.
That's it. That's the joke. Now I have to wipe the hard drive and reload everything.
!&÷$#*choice_words♡*!@#
What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty?
He wipes the hard drive.
A man and his son were at the grocery store today...
They were using a cart that had a child-size car attached to the front with the kid inside. While I was shopping, I noticed the dad started hitting the cart into the wall, it was a pretty bizarre sight to see. Before I could intervene, the kid yells,
Kid: DAAAAAD, stop!!! What are you doing?! Stooop!
Kid: Daaaad?! We're not going anywhere! What are you doing?
The dad finally stops after a minute, looks his son straight in the eye and says, as a matter of fact,
Dad: "I don't know son, you're the one who's driving."
I've never laughed so hard while eavesdropping, dad jokes are great. Happy Saturday!
I'm building a new computer with 1000 terrabytes of hard drive space...
I'm calling it the peta file server.
What happened when your girl walked in the door
Your floppy drive turned into a hard drive.
[OC] I named my hard drive Poland
Because of how often it gets partitioned
in a few years, our most advanced computers will be obsolete.
Our hard drives will seen terable.
A conductor asked me if I could help him drive a train...
I said, "yeah of course, how hard could it be?" Then I saw how complicated the control panel was. It was then that I realized that I may have bitten off more than I could choo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a cat sitting on a hard drive?
A platter p**...
how did the Floppy drive turn into a Hard drive
...By a flash drive
It really saddens me that police officers are so underpaid they have to take second jobs...
This lovely young officer pulled me over for drunk driving and is just going back to his car to get the stuff needed for a 'Cavity search'. Police officer and a dentist. What a hard working man.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a floppy disc that as an e**...?
A hard drive.
(This is an attempt at an original joke)
(I am aware of the "as" that should be a "has")
My hard drive doesn't seem to be working.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is it called when a pc builder has rough s**...?
A hard drive
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
As a dog lover and PC player...
I obviously buy only To-Shiba hard drives.
How do you know when you partied too hard last night at the drive-in movies?
You wake up in a flea market.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Business coach: remember, career ladder is like driving a bicycle.
If it's hard, then u go up.
One of the managers to himself: then whole my life i was riding without a saddle and off road.
A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"
"I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."
At my optometrist I was shown pictures of printers, external hard drives, monitors, and the like.
They said they were testing my peripheral vision.
I wasn't paying attention and almost drove my car right into the front of a store.
Although it's hard not to when you're driving through a shopping mall.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my girlfriend that my w**... is like a computer
She said "is it because its like a hard drive and is made of metal"
Wait till she finds out its more like "" microsoft and has a lot of viruses""
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Technically speaking, my s**... drive is
a hard disk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a hard drive after s**...?
A floppy disc
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. No matter how hard you try, you will NEVER get them to screw in that lightbulb. You will drive yourself nuts trying.