Hard Drive Jokes
123 hard drive jokes and hilarious hard drive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hard drive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hard Drive Short Jokes
Short hard drive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hard drive humour may include short flash drive jokes also.
- Two FBI agents search an office and find a hard drive with "KGB" on it... One of the agents asks the other, "Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"
- The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment, when they discover a hard drive labelled KGB . One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?
- Me: Boss, I'm sorry I am late. I was having computer issues. Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It was my computer. - Why does the toyota Prius have more accidents on record than any other car? It's really hard to drive safe while patting yourself on the back.
- I was driving around in my tricycle all day I worked it so hard, it lost a wheel. The tricycle is two tired now.
- Me: Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues. Boss: Hard drive?
Me: The commute was fine. It's my laptop. - So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
- They tried to combine a networked hard drive with a device that brewed drinks... It was NAS-tea
- why was the computer late to work? because it had a hard drive! (stole it from ellen, from her classic joke tuesday)
- What Did The Hard Drive Get When It Wanted Data But Didn't Have The Resources? A Cache-Advance
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Hard Drive One Liners
Which hard drive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hard drive? I can suggest the ones about computer hardware and floppy disk.
- Hey girl, are you a computer? Because you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.
- Why was the computer mad when he got home? It had a hard drive
- Why was the computer late? Because it had a hard drive
- I got invited to test a new car made entirely of spare computer parts It was a hard drive
- Why do computers hate going to their file storage? Because it's a hard drive.
- I ate my roommates 1TB hard drive Wasn't easy, it took 1000000000000 bytes
- Why was the computer tired after a long journey? It had a hard drive.
- How do you eat a hard drive? One byte at a time
- Have you ever taken a road trip to the Seagate factory? It's a hard drive.
- My dog ate my computer's hard drive. He took a megabyte.
- Why was the computer late for work? It had a hard drive.
I'll C myself out - What do you call it when data goes on a difficult car journey? A hard drive
- What do Jews drive? A hard bargain
- Why did the computer take so long to arrive? It had a hard drive
- A sculptor made a beautiful hard drive from mahogany... but it was all bark and no bytes
Rib-Tickling Hard Drive Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about hard drive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean computer server jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hard drive pranks.
Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!
Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
Baby, let's configure our hard drives in master and s**... position.
Someone broke into my house and stole my external hard drive; they really got my backup.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
*RANT TIME* Please can we stop with the flashing blue outdoor Christmas lights this year ?
Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the w**..., fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the machete under the seat, all while trying to drive.
It's just too much drama, even for Christmas.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
So there's this man with a parrot.
And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a p**.... He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the t**..., shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
I like my women like I like my hard drives...
FAT and 32.
Regular Russia, not the Soviet one
Ivan and Igor are standing at a bus stop in Russia. It is freezing cold and raining hard. A limo drives by and splashes icy water all over them. Ivan says to Igor, This is a terrible place to live, I want to go to America. Igor responses, Why do think America would be any better. Ivan stares at Igor in disbelief, Do you know what would happen in America? If a limo drove by and splashed you, the rich man would pull over, apologize, help you into the car, take you to his home, make you nice drink, feed you dinner, let you sleep in his warm bed, and then, the next morning, he would drop you off where ever you wanted to go. Igor says, Really? This happened to you?! Ivan, No, my wife.
Three nuns
Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car c**... and all die tragically.
In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"
The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.
"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"
She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"
*Gong!*
The gates open and she enters.
Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"
"Eve!"
*Gong!*
The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.
St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"
Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."
*Gong!*
You're like my hard drive.
Fat and 32
Why is owning a Prius difficult?
It's hard to drive when you're patting yourself on the back all the time.
You always have to be extra careful when driving through a predominantly black neighborhood at night.
Because black people are super hard to see in the dark.
Smarter Generation
"The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students took over. ""Your hard drive crashed,"" he said.
I called the computer services office and explained, ""My computer is down. The hard drive crashed.""
""We can't just send people down on your say-so. How do you know that's the problem?""
""A student told me,"" I answered.
""We'll send someone over right away."""
Life Before The Computer
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 inch floppy ..
... you just hoped nobody ever found out!!
So I was sitting on the porch drinking a beer as my wife was shoveling the snow....
An old lady from down the street was driving by slowly when she stopped in front of my house and rolled down her window. She looked at my wife, then looked at me before saying "Your sitting there getting drunk while your wife is doing all that hard work? YOU SHOULD BE HUNG!
I lifted my beer and yelled back "I AM. That's why I'm just sitting here."
My boss pulled up in an awesome new car today
"Wow, that's a really nice car, sir. I'd love to drive one of those..." I said.
He said, "Well, if you set goals, you're determined, and you work really hard and put in the long hours, then I can get an even better one next year."
A cop pulls over a driver with a broken tail light...
The officer approaches the driver of the vehicle and asks how long he has been driving with a broken tail light. Without answering the question the driver jumps out of his car, runs to the rear of his vehicle and groans. Seeing he was upset the officer tried to cheer him up slightly "come on now, don't take it so hard. Its not that serious."
"It isn't?" Replied the driver, "then do you know what happened to my boat and trailer?"
Why do male prostitutes make more money than females?
Because they always drive a *Hard* bargain. :D
Samsung developed an infinite space hard drive.
Only problem is they're still formatting it.
A pirate walks into a bar
with his ship's steering wheel shoved down his pants. The bartender says, "hey pirate that's got to be hard to walk with." Pirate says, "aye, it be driving me nuts."
Why was the computer stressed out when it got home from work?
'Cause it had a hard drive.
What happens when a hard drive platter is shattered?
File fragmentation
My dad asked me a bit about computers...
...so the CPU is like the brain of a computer, and hard drives store all your files.
Dad: What about soft drives?
How big was o**... bin Laden's hard drive?
One terrorbyte.
LPT: If you ever find that your hard drive has been wiped, don't worry!
Just call the NSA, they'll have have all your information backed up
A recent study showed that Alcohol contains female hormones.
In the study, ten men were told to each drink 10 pints. By the end of it, none of them could drive, and everything they said was hard to listen to.
What do you call a hard drive in a hydraulic press?
File compression
Why did the hard drive c**...?
Because it had a bad driver.
Golf is a lot like taxes -
you drive hard to get to the green and end up in the hole.
I like formatting my hard drives like I like my pizza
Deep Disc
So, my wife installed Windows 10 on my desktop.
That's it. That's the joke. Now I have to wipe the hard drive and reload everything.
!&÷$#*choice_words♡*!@#
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty?
He wipes the hard drive.
A man and his son were at the grocery store today...
They were using a cart that had a child-size car attached to the front with the kid inside. While I was shopping, I noticed the dad started hitting the cart into the wall, it was a pretty bizarre sight to see. Before I could intervene, the kid yells,
Kid: DAAAAAD, stop!!! What are you doing?! Stooop!
Kid: Daaaad?! We're not going anywhere! What are you doing?
The dad finally stops after a minute, looks his son straight in the eye and says, as a matter of fact,
Dad: "I don't know son, you're the one who's driving."
I've never laughed so hard while eavesdropping, dad jokes are great. Happy Saturday!
I'm building a new computer with 1000 terrabytes of hard drive space...
I'm calling it the peta file server.
What happened when your girl walked in the door
Your floppy drive turned into a hard drive.
[OC] I named my hard drive Poland
Because of how often it gets partitioned
in a few years, our most advanced computers will be obsolete.
Our hard drives will seen terable.
A conductor asked me if I could help him drive a train...
I said, "yeah of course, how hard could it be?" Then I saw how complicated the control panel was. It was then that I realized that I may have bitten off more than I could choo.
What do you call a cat sitting on a hard drive?
A platter p**...
how did the Floppy drive turn into a Hard drive
...By a flash drive
It really saddens me that police officers are so underpaid they have to take second jobs...
This lovely young officer pulled me over for drunk driving and is just going back to his car to get the stuff needed for a 'Cavity search'. Police officer and a dentist. What a hard working man.
What is a floppy disc that as an e**...?
A hard drive.
(This is an attempt at an original joke)
(I am aware of the "as" that should be a "has")
My hard drive doesn't seem to be working.
What is it called when a pc builder has rough s**...?
A hard drive
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
As a dog lover and PC player...
I obviously buy only To-Shiba hard drives.
Why did h**... lose his driving license?
He was too hard on the gas.
What did the computer tech say to the pretty girl?
You turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.
How do you know when you partied too hard last night at the drive-in movies?
You wake up in a flea market.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Business coach: remember, career ladder is like driving a bicycle.
If it's hard, then u go up.
One of the managers to himself: then whole my life i was riding without a saddle and off road.
Well it finally happened; my beloved computer stopped working. Took it to the shop for a new one.
It was such a hard drive.
A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"
"I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."
At my optometrist I was shown pictures of printers, external hard drives, monitors, and the like.
They said they were testing my peripheral vision.
I wasn't paying attention and almost drove my car right into the front of a store.
Although it's hard not to when you're driving through a shopping mall.
My boss rolled into work in a sweet new ride...
I said "Nice car, I'd kill to drive one of those!". He says "Well, if you set realistic goals, work hard and are determined I can get an even better one next year".
I told my girlfriend that my w**... is like a computer
She said "is it because its like a hard drive and is made of metal"
Wait till she finds out its more like "" microsoft and has a lot of viruses""
If people were hard drives
Bruce Jenner would have been reformatted.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive
Technically speaking, my s**... drive is
a hard disk.
What do you call a hard drive after s**...?
A floppy disc
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. No matter how hard you try, you will NEVER get them to screw in that lightbulb. You will drive yourself nuts trying.
Where do ghosts store their data?
On their terrorbyte hard drives.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Why do computers need insurance?
In case the hard drive crashes.
What do you give an usuccesful band?
A new hard drive because of all the gigs.