Hard Day Jokes
31 hard day jokes and hilarious hard day puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hard day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hard Day Short Jokes
Short hard day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hard day humour may include short bad day jokes also.
- I told my son he couldn't get a fidget spinner because his dad and I have tried so hard to make sure he didn't become autistic... Unfortunately he died of measles a couple days ago
- They Say "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life". Sure enough... All of these felony convictions are making it awfully hard to get a job.
- Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the hard work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
- I was driving around in my tricycle all day I worked it so hard, it lost a wheel. The tricycle is two tired now.
- I learned the other day that a group of baboons is called a Congress I found it extremely insulting to the hard work and productivity of baboons.
- I don't understand why people say it's hard to quit smoking I have done it twenty times a day for years now.
- My co-worker takes a small blue pill with his coffee every day at 8am He's likes to work hard in the mornings
- Two blondes talking... "I took a pregnancy test the other day..."
"Oh dear, were the questions hard?" - Bob, why were you kicked out from your job? I took a couple of days off.
Oh, that's hard. Where do you work?
At the calendar factory - I think most dogs have a hard time every time I ask one how their day is going, they always say "rough".
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Hard Day One Liners
Which hard day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hard day? I can suggest the ones about long work day and having a bad day.
- I would like to be poor one day. Because being poor everyday it's hard...
- A man works hard to name an interval equal to 24 hours. so he calls it a day.
- What do you call a man who boasts of three erections per day? A tri-hard.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away... ... If you throw it hard enough
- Why is it hard for Liam Neeson to enjoy Valentine's Day? Because all the girls are taken
- I tried drag racing the other day. It's incredibly hard to run in heels.
- "An apple a day...... ...will keep most ANYONE away, so long as you throw hard enough!"
- An apple a day keeps the bully away If you throw hard enough
- I have been suffering from Priapism for the last 2 days My wife is taking it pretty hard
- They told me to keep it in my pants... But it was too hard.
Happy Valentine's Day folks! - Why are neon lights hard to see during the day? Because they're ne-off.
- Another hard day of work At the US postal service.
- Why do monks wear the same clothes every day? Because old habits die hard.
- I slipped in the epoxy at work today...... Its going to be a hard couple of days
- It's so hard being a single mum these days... Especially when you are male and a teenager
Hard Day Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about hard day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean raining day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hard day pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A knight and his men return to their castle...
...after a long hard day of fighting.
"How are we faring?" asks the king.
"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."
"What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"
"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."
A squirrel in the refrigerator
A man comes home after a hard day's work and opens the refrigerator
to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap.
What are you doing in my fridge? the man asks.
The squirrel opens one sleepy eye and says, Isn't this a Westinghouse?
Um, yes, the man replies. It is.
Well then, the squirrel says, shutting his eyes again, I am twying to west.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Male pornstars have the worst job.
It's always a hard day at work.
Two miners walk out of the mine after a hard days work, one carrying a shovel and the other a stick. The one carrying the shovel turns and asks, "Where's your shovel?"
And the other responds, "sure does".
What did the dog say after a hard day at work ?
"Today sure was ruff"
Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P
(Stolen but golden) Stevie Wonder is in the recording studio at the end of a long hard day.
He's chewing the fat with a few of the technicians.
One of them asks:
It must be hard being blind Stevie.
To which Stevie replies:
Yep, it's hard but at least I'm not black.
Tarzan comes home after a hard day and asks Jane to mix him a martini
He's hardly sat down before he's finished it and he asks Jane to mix him another, and being a caring, nurturing mate she does so. Again Tarzan makes it disappear and asks (nicely enough, to be fair) for still another one.
At this, Jane arches a delicate eyebrow and says "Three martinis? Before dinner?"
"Jane, you don't understand," sighs Tarzan. "It's a jungle out there!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the catholic priest get the alter boys to sit in the snow?
So he could have a couple cold ones to slurp back after a hard days work.
Three men finish up a hard day at work and walk into a bar
They do the same thing the next day. And the day after that. On the fourth day, they duck.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do beers and babies have in common?
At the end of a long, hard day, nothing feels better than k**... back, relaxing, and cracking open a cold one.
Guess who
If you think YOU had a hard day...I just got done playing a game of Chinese "Guess Who!"
Drink 'Till She's Cute
A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer"? The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home"!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wife's having a heart attack
A man comes home after a long hard day at work, and hears some sounds coming from his bedroom.
He hurried up the stairs and sees his wife in her bed, "I think I'm having a heart attack" she says in a panicked voice. The man rushes downstairs and dials 911 and goes to tell the operator what the problem is.
His 4 year old son comes down the stairs and says "daddy, uncle joe is n**... in your closet". Angrily, the man slams the phone down and hurried up the stairs, swings open the closet door and sees his brother sitting there n**.... "My wife is having a heart attack, and all you do is run around my house n**... scaring the kids!?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of hunters gathered in the woods..
A group of hunters gathered around the campfire after a long, hard day in the woods. *"3"*, said one of the hunters, and the rest laughed.
*"8"*, another said, and they laughed even more.
Now, for one of the hunters, these numbers weren't very fun. He asks, *"Why is this fun?"*. The hunters look at each other, and the leader explained, *"Well, you see son, instead of having to say the jokes to each other we've assigned* numbers *to them."* He looks at the hunter and says, *"Why don't try one?"*
The young hunter thinks for a moment, and then he says; *"42"*.
And this time, the hunters burst out in an e**... of laughter, som even falling to the ground.
Puzzled, the young one asks, *"Tell me, tell me, why was this fun?"*
The leader dries his tears with his hand, and says;
*"We hadn't heard that one before."*
A guy walks into a bar after a long day.
I thought this up today. My exhausted mind thought it was funny as well as my slap-happy friends.. we were all a bit out of it. Anyway..
This guy is walking home after a really long, hard day. He decides to stop by his favorite bar to wind down a bit.
He walks in and sits at the counter and the bartender comes up asks,
"What can I get you today? The usual?".
At this, the man replies,
"No, today I need something a bit stronger.. it's been such a long week. You know what I really want? I just need to smash something over my head, that should get my frustrations out."
The bartender gave the man a shocked expression. He stared at him for a moment, then shook his head and shrugged. He reached around and grabbed an empty bottle and said as he handed it to the man,
"Here you go. Knock yourself out."