Hard Boiled Jokes
43 hard boiled jokes and hilarious hard boiled puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hard boiled that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hard Boiled Short Jokes
Short hard boiled jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hard boiled humour may include short hardened jokes also.
- A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? I'm not sure if I can get hard, I was just laid this morning.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? Don't expect me to get hard in three minutes, I just got laid this morning!
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
- There are two eggs in a pan of boiling water One says "oh! I've got a small crack."
The other replies "don't worry, I'm only half hard." - It's so sad how many people poach elephants in kenya They taste so much better hard boiled
- You Know It's Hot When ... Cows are giving evaporated milk ...
Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs ...
Catfish are already fried when caught ...
Jehovah Witnesses start telemarketing ... - Eggs have it bad for boiling water. Unfortunately, it'll take them a while to get hard since they just got laid by a chick.
- Hard boiled eggs are disgusting! How does anyone eat them? The crunchy soft mix is absolutely disgusting, It's like eating ravioli covered in chips.
- Roses are red. Violets are blue… Poetry is hard. I'm hungry hmmmm
Hard
Hard boiled eggs
Mmmm bacon and eggs
Sorry where was I?
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Hard Boiled One Liners
Which hard boiled one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hard boiled? I can suggest the ones about boiled egg and poached egg.
- Breakfast musings... A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- A boiled egg in the morning... It's pretty hard to beat.
- Are you hungry and looking for something to eat? A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
- What's a Jewish on a bunch of cebdres? A hard-boiled
- The inventor of hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has just died. RIP Scott Chegg.
- Who needs a wife anyway... How hard can it be to boil a Toast
Hard Boiled Eggs Jokes
Here is a list of funny hard boiled eggs jokes and even better hard boiled eggs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I don't understand hard boiled eggs... The crunchy and the squishy just don't go well together.
- My grandmother passed away. Grandfather tried to stay positive about living the single life.
He said: "Who needs a wife anyway?
-How hard can it be to boil Bacon and Eggs?"
Entertaining Hard Boiled Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about hard boiled you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean deep fried jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hard boiled pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight."
Second cannibal: "What are you having?"
First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
Sorry I can't get hard right now. I just got laid.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Must be one-of-a-kind...
Years ago, my older friend told me a joke that I have never heard from anyone else to this day. The joke itself is brilliantly s**....
"What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?"
"It's going to take a moment for me to get hard; I just got laid by some chick."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I don't know if I can get hard I just got laid this morning!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dirtiest clean joke I know...
What did the egg say to the boiling water....? It's gonna take a minute for me to get hard, I just came outta this chik! :p
Jokes so Bad that They're Funny
The midget psychic broke out of prison. He was a small medium at large.
A boiled egg in the morning is really hard to beat.
Newspaper headline reads: Cartoonist found dead at home. Details are sketchy.
I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forget how it goes.
Here's a poem by a dog (Bo Burnham): Roses are grey, violets are another shade of grey, let's go chase cars.
The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late? A cold shoulder.
(I'll see myself out.)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
How do you expect me to get hard when I got laid just a moment ago.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Restaurant Order
A resident in a hotel breakfast room called the waiter to his table.
"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a p**... of very weak coffee, luke-warm."
"That's a complicated order, Sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult to prepare."
The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I got yesterday!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
"Not sure I can get hard..just got laid 10 minutes ago"
After he fell off the wall, Humpty Dumpty fell on hard times....
He couldn't get his life together. Humpty didn't remember eggsactly what happened. He was diagnosed with amnesia and his memories were scrambled from that moment. Humpty walked out of the hospital he was all yolked up and crying. He fell to drugs and became a crack head. Humpty became a true shell of himself before he went to rehab. It was difficult for him since people were hard boiling him with questions about his state of mind. Humpty couldn't take all this stress and he started to mentally break fast. But, with help from a doctor, went back to normal and everything became sunny side up.
Why do early 19th century women find it hard to boil water?
Because it gives them the vapors.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It'll be a minute before I get hard. I just got laid by a chick.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What goes in e**..., hard and dry. And comes out wet and flaccid ?
Spaghetti in the boiling pan !