Harbour Jokes
28 harbour jokes and hilarious harbour puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about harbour that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This funny yet timeless collection of Harbour Jokes features boatloads of puns and quips about beautiful coves, memorable trips, and visiting harbours. Whether you're looking for a laugh or an ambiance to enjoy, these jokes are sure to make you feel like you're near the sea!
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Funniest Harbour Short Jokes
Short harbour jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The harbour humour may include short harbor jokes also.
- Every day I go down to the harbour and throw fish to a baby dolphin. My friends say it's a waste of time. But at least I'm serving a youthful porpoise.
- Pearl Harbour 9/11'd Josh Hartnett's career. Three disasters in seven words that make a fully coherent sentence. Can anyone do better?
- This PS4 Pirate Simulator game is rubbish! Bringing your ship into harbour is a nightmare! I guess it's just a bad port.
- [OC] So did you hear about that harbour in Brazil that was infested with birds? I guess you could call it a Port-o-Geese.
- I was walking through a harbour..... When a man in a suit with a clipboard told me they were having a sale on boats.
Well obviously. How else would a boat work if it didn't have a sail? - TIL Micheal Bay's 'Pearl Harbour' made almost $ 200 million... ...I thought that it bombed!
[re-worded Greg Proops joke from DLM]
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Harbour One Liners
Which harbour one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with harbour? I can suggest the ones about shore and dock.
- How do Americans make tea? By throwing it in the harbour.
- What did David Harbour's kids say when he asked who won the race? It was a tie, dad.
- Why did the researcher take his paper to the harbour? To get it pier reviewed.
- How many Super Bowl commercials did David Harbour appear in? Eleven
- What do you call an empty harbour An Air-port
- [OC] So, did you hear about that harbour in Brazil that's full of birds?
- What does a Jewish man attacking Pearl Harbour say? Torah! Torah! Torah!
Cheerful Fun Harbour Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about harbour you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ferry jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make harbour pranks.
An American is moving to Britain...
...So he decides to learn the british way of spelling things. So he spoke to a Brit he knew and he was told the following:
"So: Color turns into colour. Harbor turns into harbour. honor becomes honour. Starting to notice a pattern?"
So he writes an e-mail to his new boss:
"Good mourning sir....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Australian man is walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his ex-girlfriend standing on the railings ...
An Australian man is walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his ex\-girlfriend standing on the railings, about to commit s**.... He apporaches her and asks:
\- Hey Sheila, what's the matter?
Tears in here eyes, she says:
\- I'm pregnant Bruce, and it's your baby!
To which Bruce replies:
\- Woah Sheila, not only are you brilliant in bed \- you're also a great sport!
A double bass player
A double bass player gets a call for a gig. Says he has to meet everyone else at the docks at 9pm. He's there waiting when he gets bashed on the head and knocked unconscious.
He wakes up ducked taped to his bass, floating in the harbour. After his first panic fades he looks around and notices several other players also ducked taped to their basses, bobbing in the water.
After a pause he yells out "Hey, do we get fed on this gig?"
"We did last year!" one answers.
A boy is talking to his 100 year-old grandfather...
The grandfather says, "You know, when I was not so much older than you are now, I lived in Sydney, Australia. In fact, I earned a bit of spare change helping on the construction of the ol' Harbour Bridge."
The boy says, "Wow! That sounds fascinating! Was it exciting?"
The grandfather, shaking his head, says, "It was just riveting work."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After putting up with Asian driving, it got me thinking...
Pearl Harbour was probably an accident.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend asked me which US state was my favourite
I replied "pearl harbour"
He said "pearl harbour isn't a state"
I said "it was when the j**... left it"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was in charge of offloading the...
...grain from the ships at the harbour. Unfortunately the grain was very moist and did not get s**... up by vacuum too easily.
He approached the foreman for some advice, who said: "If at first you don't s**... seed, try a drier grain."
An English man, American, Chinese man, and a Jewish man are on a plane...
Out of nowhere the American punches the Chinese man. the British man asks, "what was that for?"
"Pearl Harbour!" exclaims the American. "That was the Japanese?" says the British man.
"Chinese, Japanese, They're all the same!"
Suddenly the British man punches the Jewish man. The American asks, "what was that for?"
"Titanic!" exclaims the British man. "That was an Iceberg?" says the American.
"Icebergs, Goldbergs, They're all the same!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump, Putin and Merkel are taking a walk along the Hamburg harbour...
...during the G20 summit. In an attempt to show off the technology and military strength of his country, Trump brags: "Our submarines are the best. The greatest. They're huge. They can stay underwater for 1 month without surfacing!"
Putin just shrugs and grumbles, "Is nothing. Russian submarine technology make for 5 months under water..."
Just as Merkel is about to say her piece on the matter, the three of them are startled by the water next to them bubbling and splashing as they see a big submarine emerge from the depths. With loud squealing the top hatch opens, a man climbs out and shouts: "Heil h**..., wir brauchen Diesel!"
Two old men on a bench
An old korean man and an old jewish man are sitting on a bench.
Suddenly the jewish elderly slaps the korean and says "that's for pearl harbour"
The korean replies "I've got nothing to do with that, it was the japanese, and I'm korean"
To which the jewish replies "well, japanese, chinese, korean, you're all the same to me."
Hearing that, the korean slaps the jewish, saying "that's for the titanic"
"I've got nothing to do with that, it was an iceberg"
"well, iceberg, rosenberg, all the same to me"
