Harbor Jokes
82 harbor jokes and hilarious harbor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about harbor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Harbor jokes abound from those related to Harbor Freight to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Almost everyone can appreciate a good joke about a destroyer going overboard or a harbor master ambushed by a seagull. Check out our selection of the funniest new harbor jokes!
Funniest Harbor Short Jokes
Short harbor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The harbor humour may include short harbour jokes also.
- Happy Fourh of July "Hey England, Happy Fourh of July."
"Where's the T?"
"We threw it in the harbor."
Merica. - Hey England, Happy Fourh of July!!! Britain: "What happened to the T?"
America: "We threw it in the Harbor!" - High school laffs In high school once our history teacher asked who bombed pearl harbor, a Japanese kid raised his hand and the teacher said; correct!
- Titantic is the 2nd highest grossing movie in Japan. Guess since they couldn't sink Pearl Harbor, they went for the next best thing.
- My grandfather never forgave the Japanese for Pearl Harbor... ...until I explained to him that it was the Americans who made that movie.
- I heard there's a pretty good Halloween display in the Los Angeles Harbor this year. Everywhere you look is quite the freight.
- Did you know that America holds the record for the worlds largest cup of tea? Its about the size of the Boston harbor.
- When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T>1? Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor
- A business man walks down a harbor... He meets a fisherman, the fisherman offers him 5 fish for free. The business man says "what's the catch?".
- A speedboat driver crashed and died in a local harbor race yesterday. He died doing what he loved best. Living
Share These Harbor Jokes With Friends
Harbor One Liners
Which harbor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with harbor? I can suggest the ones about dock and shore.
- HAPPY FOURH OF JULY Looking for the T?
It's in Boston Harbor. - The Bri ish are coming! The Bri ish are coming! Where's the T?
In the harbor! - Why do British people pronounce it bri'ish? Because the Tea fell in the harbor.
- The greatest harbor on Earth can shelter not a single ship... It is truly without pier.
- How do you protect yourself from gamma rays and x-rays? You don't bomb pearl harbor.
- What do you call two harbors? Paradox!
- Where did the 'T' in "British" go? In the Boston Harbor
- Why don't British people pronounce their T's? They left them in the Boston Harbor
- I prefer my tea American style.. Mixed with the salt of Boston Harbor.
- You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb.
- What did Roosevelt say after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor? I won't stand for this.
- On a scale of 1-10 how enthusiastically did Mitsubishi observe Pearl Harbor day? Zero
- Why did Japan bomb Pearl Harbor? Because someone asked for supplies
- What do you call a burnt Hawaii pizza? A Peral Harbor
- What's it called when a man with hemorrhoids farts? Pearl Harbor
Pearl Harbor Jokes
Here is a list of funny pearl harbor jokes and even better pearl harbor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You're pretty like a pearl... ...Pearl Harbor; all shot up.
- What do you get when you drop a Hawaiian pizza? Pearl Harbor pizza.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Harbor Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about harbor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean harvest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make harbor pranks.
I held the door open for an old japanese man, and he said "Sank you!"
Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly Japanese man...
An elderly Japanese man was walking behind me as I was entering a store. Since he was older and walked with a cane, I held the door for him. As he walked pasted he said, "Sank you" with his accent. So I punched him in the face and said, "How dare you bring up Pearl Harbor like that!"
A schoolteacher quits his job to become a pirate...
In 18th century America, a schoolteacher decides that he's sick and tired of teaching spelling and grammar to children all day. So he quits his job, sells his house, and plans to become a pirate. He goes down the harbor to buy a boat and hire a crew. Once his crew is ready, they head out onto the high seas, with the captain/former teacher at the helm.
As they sail, they spy a merchant ship on the horizon and start chasing it. As they catch up, the captain tells the first mate to command the crew to start priming the cannons. The first mate sends the message down and the crew readies the cannonballs, prepares the gunpowder, and takes aim at the merchant ship. The first mate runs back up to the helm and says "captain, the cannons be ready!"
The captain turns to the first mate and says "are!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian captain and an American captain debate which country builds the best submarines...
They are standing at a harbor and they've been arguing for hours. The American says "Our subs have such efficient air filter systems that they can stay underwater for months at a time".
The Russian replies:"A few months? Laughsble. Our Russian subs have such advanced air filters that they can stay submerged for up to a year"
As the American opens his mouth to voice his reply, he's suddenly interrupted as a massive submarine surfaces right in front of them.A man steps out, looks at them and screams: "Heil h**..., have we won ze war?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This h**... at the harbor said that she really dug the way that I ate those Oysters.
All I could say was "Shucks."
The joke my grandma told me when i came out
Two gay guys are standing on top of the statue of liberty looking out over the harbor. The first points out a boat and asks "what kind of boat is that?" "Oh that's a barge" replied the other this continued for a while when the first pointed out another and the other replied "that's a ferry ship." the first paused and thought for a moment before replying "i knew we were organized but i didn't realize we had a navy "
An English man asked an American how he liked his tea
The American replied, "in the harbor."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's a good thing the j**... flew planes at Pearl Harbor
If they were driving there would have been a lot more casualties
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Americans drink their tea cold?
Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Doing what is right
While I was strolling around the harbor this morning about 11 am. I noticed a t**... who slipped from the bridge and fell into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn't get help he would surely drown.
Being a responsible citizen and abiding by the law of the land that require you to help those in distress, I notified the Police, Coastguard, Immigration office and even the Fire Department.
It is now 4 PM, the t**... has drowned and none of the authorities have responded.
I'm starting to think I wasted 4 stamps!
Edit-small typo.
A businessman decides to go on vacation to NY !!!
A businessman decides to go on vacation to NY but he wants to fly cheap.
He goes to the airport and buys a ticket from brothers airlines, and halfway to New York the plane blows out an engine.
The captain lets them know they can make on three engines then a second engine blows out.
Again the captain says they can make it on two engines.
Then a third engine blows and the man starts to panic.
The captain comes on to say: "*We are approaching new harbor, to the right is the Statue of Liberty and to left is the Empire state building and directly below in the life raft is the captain and crew, thanks for flying brothers airlines*."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Korean and a Jew
Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?
Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.
Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?
Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?
Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.
Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?
What's the Difference?
A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.
"Owch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?"
"That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says.
"But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" And the Jewish man sits back down.
Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face.
"Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?"
"That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says.
"But that was an iceberg!"
"Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was holding a door open for an Asian Guy.
I was holding a door open for an Asian Guy.
Once he went though, He said, 'Sank you'.
I Swore at him and kicked him in the Shin.
I Then said, 'Never bring up Pearl Harbor like that'
"Guess my nationality" the old man said
Deducing from the man's accent that he was Briish, the other man said so.
"You're correct, but where's the t?" asked the man.
"In the harbor"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...
"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."
Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for b**... Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."
Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive you people for sinking the Titanic."
"I'm Jewish, that was an iceberg."
"Goldberg, iceberg, all the same to me."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my tea like I like my s**... partners.
Dumped into the Boston Harbor.
What do you call your favorite 80's pop star floating dead in the harbor?
David Buoy
A blind man walked onto a harbor..
He took a big whiff and said "Well hello ladies".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once helped an elderly Japanese man cross the street.
Afterwards he said, "Sank you." So I punched him in the face.
He didn't have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man runs into an old salty sea captain on the docks of Boston harbor and says,
"Cap'm, can't help but noticin'...you got a steerin' wheel secures to yer c**... there." Sea captain removes the pipe from 'tween his teeth and says, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."
How do you know if a programmer is a patriotic American?
If they remember Perl Harbor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't the British properly use all of their T's
The Americans threw most of them in the harbor ( Made this up with my buddy, don't know if it's been said here before )
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Karma
A Chinese man and his Jewish friend were walking along one day when the Jewish man whirled and slugged the Chinese man and knocked him down.
"What was that for?" the Chinese man asked.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" the Jewish man said.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. I'm Chinese."
"Chinese, Japanese, you are all the same!"
"Oh!"
They continued walking and after a while the Chinese man whirled and knocked the Jewish man to the ground.
"What was that for?" the Jewish man asked.
"That was for the Titanic!"
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, you are all the same."
If you live near the coast, the harbor is often the best place to go shopping.
They often have really good sails on boats.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey England, you know what oday is?
Where's the T?
We threw it in the harbor, 244 years ago
What do a porcupine and a harbor have in common?
Each birth is a C-section.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm just like Pearl Harbor...
no s**... left...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was holding the door open for a Japanese guy...
The Japanese guy was like "Sank you."
I punched him dead in the jaw. Smh bringing up Pearl Harbor like that.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese man and a Jewish man were walking along one day
A Chinese man and his Jewish friend were walking along one day when the Jewish man whirled and slugged the Chinese man and knocked him down.
"What was that for?" the Chinese man asked.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" the Jewish man said.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. I'm Chinese."
"Chinese, Japanese, you are all the same!"
"Oh!"
They continued walking and after a while the Chinese man whirled and knocked the Jewish man to the ground.
"What was that for?" the Jewish man asked.
"That was for the Titanic!"
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, you are all the same."
An American is moving to Britain...
...So he decides to learn the british way of spelling things. So he spoke to a Brit he knew and he was told the following:
"So: Color turns into colour. Harbor turns into harbour. honor becomes honour. Starting to notice a pattern?"
So he writes an e-mail to his new boss:
"Good mourning sir....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandfather died in a plane c**....
The United States was pretty mad but I thought Pearl Harbor deserved it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The story of my username
It was a cold August night. The inky black harbor was quiet, almost too quiet. As a walked down the cobblestoned steps a breeze sent a chill down my back. Fog clouded my vision, but as I boarded my modest little steamer I could see so clearly in my mind, an image. I tried to rid my mind of this thought, but the more I tried the harder it became. On the dock I was, and very close to dock was what thought was in my head. So I thought of the unintelligible nonsense Ramavian_Zola, which, to this day, I use to clearly my mind of those thoughts that are so hard and plague my mind for so long, and so e**... in my head.
The Seattle Harbor Enterprise, or SHE, is embroiled in another lawsuit....
They have been charged with illegally surveiling the employees of a net manufacturing company and even tracking them to their homesand even emailing them during non work hours.
So the employees got together and pooled up enough money to raise a lawsuit against the the org for their wrongful actions.
The event is being called the:
"Sue SHE fish net stalking case"
Chinese guy and a Jewish guy sitting at a bar.
Suddenly Jewish guy whacks Chinese guy on the head. What was that for? says the Chinese guy. Pearl Harbor says the Jewish guy. Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. Jewish guy says Japanese Chinese what's the difference?
Time goes by. Suddenly the Chinese guy whacks the Jewish guy on the head. What's that for? Sinking of the Titanic. Titanic was sunk by an iceberg. Iceberg Goldberg what's the difference?
A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face.
"Ow! Why did you do that?" asks he Chinese man.
"That's for Pearl Harbor," says the Jewish man.
"But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man.
"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" asks the Jewish man.
So the Chinese man punches the Jewish man.
"Ow! What's that for?" asks the Jewish man.
"It's for the Titanic," says the Chinese man.
"What? That was an iceberg that brought down the Titanic!" says the Jewish man.
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I held the door for a Japanese man the other day...
And he said, sank you.
So I punched him right in the face.
I can't believe he'd bring up Pearl Harbor like that.
Happy Pearl Harbor Day!
My Son's Class Did a Play for the Boston Tea Party.
His teacher told him he would be the tea that was thrown in the harbor. She said he could pick to be any type of tea he'd like. He got so upset that he started running around the class throwing things. I guess he chose to be not tea.
A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.
Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.
"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..
"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.
"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.
"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?
Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.
"What was that for?" asks the Jew.
"It's for the Titanic."
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg..."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" says the Chinese man.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese doctor has a Jewish patient.
"Listen," says the patient, "I didn't think we were going to get along so good together."
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean! Pearl Harbor, that's what I mean!"
"What are you talking about, Pearl Harbor? I'm Chinese!"
"Yeah, well...Chinese, Japanese, it's all the same thing."
"What do you mean, all the same thing? The Jews sunk the Titanic!"
"The Jews sunk the Titanic?"
"Sure. Greenberg, Goldberg, Iceburg, all the same to me!"
