Harassment Jokes
114 harassment jokes and hilarious harassment puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about harassment that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article examines the often unspoken issues of workplace harassment, bullying, and assault. It explores why harassment jokes can hurt coworker relationships and how to avoid them. Additionally, it looks at the positive power of chickpeas as a way to lighten the mood without damaging anyone's feelings.
Quick Jump To
- Short Harassment Jokes
- Harassment One Liners
- Workplace Harassment Jokes
- Bullying And Harassment Jokes
- More Harassment Jokes
Funniest Harassment Short Jokes
Short harassment jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The harassment humour may include short harassed jokes also.
- Harassment. So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, "Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"
- What do barack obama and Donald Trump have in common? Both are former presidents of the USA and both are harassed for the color of their skin.
- My dad said this at his retirement... he is a former principal "I remember a time when Harass was two words.
- Yesterday, I saw a guy harassing a diabetic who recently had parts of his foot amputated. I guess the first guy was lack toes intolerant.
- I got harassed by an exhibitionist in the park tonight Well, it wasn't really harassment, more like a microaggression.
- I asked the librarian if he had any books on harassment. He said "no" so I asked him 35 more times.
- After being harassed by ads about hot singles that are interested in me within 1 mile, I decided to investigate. There are a lot of hot singles in my area, but none of them are interested in me.
- Harassment at work Girl from my cubicle told me she was having trouble with harassment.
I told her I couldn't help her because I've never even heard it talk. - Last night I lost my watch at a party. An hour later I saw a guy stepping on it whilst harassing a girl. I went over there and punched him Nobody should do that to women
Not on my watch - I was walking down the street when I saw a disabled man in a wheelchair being harassed... so I stood up for him.
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Harassment One Liners
Which harassment one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with harassment? I can suggest the ones about bullying and annoyance.
- My friend was harassing me with bird puns But toucan play at that game.
- The problem with Bill Clinton Is that he never learned harass was one word.
- I was harassed in the bank... ...So I told them to leave me a loan
- I miss the good ol days... When "harass" was two words
- Q: What do small businesses cry when account executives harass them for money? A: Yelp!
- My son gets harassed and abused by every single kid at his school. He's being hyperboled.
- There's a fine line between flirting and harassing. The jawline.
- Q: How come the Vatican police kept harassing the nuns? A: It was a force of habit
- Why was the beat poet arrested? He was accused of cesura harassment.
- Her mouth said no. Harassment yes.
- The other day a coworker caught me checking her out, but harassment nothing to me.
- A man got fired for grabbing his co-workers but It was ok cause harassment a lot to him
- What cut of meat is verbally harassing over there? Filet mignon.
- TIFU by getting called into the HR office.... apparently "harass" is not two words.
- What do you do if a black man is harassing you? Tell his owner.
Workplace Harassment Jokes
Here is a list of funny workplace harassment jokes and even better workplace harassment puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a droid who was s**... harassed in the workplace? R2MeToo
- If you lost your e**... every time a game developer got accused of workplace harassment Ubisoft
- My workplace scheduled s**... Harassment Training. Needless to say, I was greatly disappointed.
- s**... harassment is an issue in my workplace. None of the women can keep their mouths shut.
- Oh, you were s**... harassed in the workplace? Sounds like a personnel problem.
Bullying And Harassment Jokes
Here is a list of funny bullying and harassment jokes and even better bullying and harassment puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So, I was getting bullied for being straight, but I didn't care. Because harassment more to me.
- What do you call a dog that harasses kids? A pit bully!
Hilarious Fun Harassment Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about harassment you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean assault jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make harassment pranks.
Two pilots were accused of s**... harassment.
HR said a female pilot complained about the way they were joking and saying cockpit during the flight. Looking relieved they both got up to leave. HR quickly asks where there going when one pilots says "we don't have a problem, we'll apologize, and we'll never use the term cockpit again. That was totally insensitive of us. From here on out we'll just call it a sky box."
Policing the internet.
Complaining to the police about something you've read on the internet is like suing a premium rate s**... line for s**... harassment.
When a man talks dirty to a woman...
The man is charged for s**... harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, He's also charged $3.95 per minute.
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated...
Now I`m facing s**... harassment charges.
I want to form a law practice specializing in s**... harassment suits against medical professionals...
I'll call it "Doctors Without Boundaries"
s**... harassment
The supervisor of a local firm is startled when his secretary bursts into his office to file a complaint of s**... harassment against a man working in the same department. "What on earth did he do?", asks the boss. "It's not what he did but what he said!", the secretary shrieks. "He said my hair smelt nice!". "And what is so wrong with him telling you that?", asks the boss. "He's a midget" ,huffs the woman.
Hair Fragrance
Every day at the office, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, "So what's s**... threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
Dwarfs and s**... Harassment
Dawn, a tall attractive office assistant complains to human relations in her firm that every time she goes to the photocopier a nearby worker named Philbert comes up close to her and says "Mmm, your hair smells nice." Hermagrude, the kind , wise human relations officer says placatingly, "Well Dawn, many women would treat that as a compliment, perhaps you could see it that way?" Dawn replies, "well normally I might but Philbert is a dwarf."
My job sent me to a s**... harassment seminar last week...
And now, I'm thinking I'm gonna be pretty good at it.
I lost my watch at a party once..
I found it ten minutes later, but some guy was stepping on it. As he stood on my watch, he was s**... harassing a young woman. So I walked up to him and punched him square in the face. Nobody does that to a girl. Not on MY watch.
There's only one thing I remember from s**... harassment training.
"Harass" is just one word.
I just got fired for s**... harassment.
I'm self employed.
For The Watch
Lost my watch at a party once. After a few hours i walked into the bathroom and saw some guy stepping on my watch while s**... harassing a girl. I punched the guy straight in the nose, no one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
-Putindoge
(P.s he probably stole the joke from someone else)
Telling a girl she has nice hair is not s**... harassment
Unless you're a dwarf
A woman came into our work yesterday to give us all a talk about s**... harassment in the work place.
A woman came into our work yesterday to give us all a talk about s**... harassment in the work place. After the presentation she asked, "Has anyone got any questions?"
I put my hand up and asked, "What colour knickers have you got on?"
I lost my watch at a party once...
An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was s**... harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
Lost my watch at a party..
And then saw some guy stamping on it whilst s**... harassing a girl. I went over and punched him straight on the nose. Nobody does that to a girl, certainly not on my watch.
The bible says "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you"
But I think that's s**... harassment.
I lost my watch at a party.
After some intensive searching through the crowd, I spotted it lying on the floor. There was a guy standing on it. When I looked up, I saw the guy harassing a girl, touching her at all the wrong places. She obviously didn't approve. So I walked over there and punched this guy in the face. Nobody treats girls like that. Not on my watch.
If a man talks dirty to a woman, that's s**... harassment.
If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be $6.50 a minute.
So a man dies and goes to heaven...
When he got there, he approached St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asked "What, in your opinion, was your most noble deed?"
"Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing an old lady outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring."
Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?"
"Uh, about 5 minutes ago."
A girl from the office is trying to get me fired for
s**... harassment because I've been giving her "inappropriate massages during work"
I said, Good luck sweetheart. I don't even work here.
I lost my watch at a party last night....
After about an hour of looking for it I finally found it on the ground. A man was stepping on it while he was harassing some woman. Infuriated, I walked over to him and punched him in the face, breaking his nose. No one mistreats a woman, not on my watch.
I lost my watch at a party
I was looking around and saw some guy standing on it while s**... harassing a girl. I walked right up to him and punched him in the face.
Nobody does that to a girl. Not on my watch.
Why did Medusa have to take s**... harassment training?
Because she wouldn't stop objectifying people.
As of today, I am no longer a 20-year old v**...!
My dad is going to jail for s**... harassment, though.
Which 3 US bills have to do with s**... harassment of women?
Bill Cosby
Bill O'reilly
Bill Clinton
HR pulled me into the office today for a disciplinary.
"We need to talk to you about your inappropriate s**... remarks made to Sarah."
"Why, what level of inappropriateness did she say I done?"
"Harass..."
"Yes, it is cute and I would e**... dinner off it. But what level of inappropriateness did she say I done?"
I lost my watch
I lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while s**... harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the face. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
I lost my watch at a party...
I lost my watch at a party once. While I was looking for it, I saw a man step on it on the dance floor while harassing a woman at the same time. I immediately went over and punched the man in the face and broke his nose.
"Thank you so much!" the woman said.
"No problem," I said putting my jewelry back on.
"Nobody does that to a woman, not on my watch."
I lost my watch at a party once.
About an hour later I saw some guy standing on it while harassing a woman. Infuriated, I went over and punched him in the face. Nobody does that to a woman, not on my watch.
I attended a s**... harassment seminar recently
so now i think im gonna be pretty good at it
Joe approached the gates of Heaven and God asked him what he had done in life that made him worthy...
Joe: "I once saw a gang of bikers harassing a woman, so I went up to the biggest and baddest one, gave him a punch across the face, and said 'If you want to mess with her again, you'll have to go through me first.'"
God: "Really? When was that?"
Joe: "About 5 minutes ago."
When a man talks dirty to a woman it's s**... harassment
But when a woman talks dirty to a man it's 4.95 a minute
Peter Dinkalage has been accused of s**... harassment.
He allegedly told the woman that her hair smelled nice.
With all the stories about how everyone's being s**... harassed
...I'm starting to think I might be ugly.
What do you call a s**... harassed robot?
R2#metoo
TIL during the shooting of "Who framed Roger Rabbit?", Porky Pig was accused of s**... harassing Tinkerbell
On contacting Porky Pig, he replied "Th- Th- Th- That's all Hoax!"
2017 Limerick: There once was a man from Nantucket
Who after several credible accusations of s**... harassment was forced to resign from his position of political power
Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore.
She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against the guy.
The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
"It's Bruce. The dwarf."
At a party I dropped my watch.
I looked around and saw a guy harassing a girl for s**... while standing on my watch. I went over and punched him in the face. Nobody does that to a girl, not on my watch.
A woman filed a s**... harassment to the HR Department.
Hot employee: Sir I would like to file a complaint for s**... harrassment to my boss.
HR employee: So what did he do or say to you ?
Hot employee: He said my hair smells sweet and lovely today.
HR employees : I don't see a problem there. Aren't you just overreacting a bit he just complimented that your hair smells good.
Hot employee: SIR!! You don't understand my boss is a midget!!!
I'm a pervert that aspires to be a s**... harassment lawyer.
Ok, so I really just want to get myself off in court.
There's something I like about you, I just can't put my finger on it...
Because it would be s**... harassment.
I was hard at work today.
Still don't know why I got called into HR and written up for s**... harassment.
If a midget tells you that your hair smells nice,
is that s**... harassment?
A s**... offender's girlfriend left him saying that he didn't adore her body enough
Harassment nothing to him
I reported a cashier to her management for s**... harassing me
She was checking me out.
My boyfriend's dad told us that back in his day, before required s**... misconduct training...
Harass was two words
What's the difference between flirting and s**... harassment?
Whether or not the woman finds the man attractive.
Susan tells her boss that she was s**... harassed...
The boss asks what happened?
Susan says, "Bob walked up to me said 'your hair smells really good'"
The boss replies, "Well, I think that's more of a compliment than s**... harassment"
Susan yells "Bob's a midget!"
Guy dies and is at the pearly gates
St. Peter says: before I can let you in, you must tell me one selfless act you did while alive
Guy says One time i was driving and saw this motorcycle gang harassing a little old lady. I pulled over and went up to the biggest guy punched him square in the face and said - LOOK, if you mess with her, you mess with me
St. Peter said wow, that's pretty impressive, but I don't see it in your records. When exactly did this happen?
The guy said oh, about five seconds ago
I keep getting s**... harassed at work by my boss.
It is one of the many drawbacks of being self-employed.
s**... Harassment
is a touchy subject
My 33 year old friend is dating a 19 year old.
They went out to dinner and kept getting harassed by the locals.
They we're shouting 'Peado' and 'Cradle snatcher' and all sorts of horrible names.
It completely ruined their 10 year anniversary.
I was going to make a s**... harassment joke ...
But it's a touchy subject
A man is drinking in a bar when a nun harasses him about drinking.
In self-defense the man says, Who told you that drinking is bad?
Nun : "Mother Superior told me."
Man : "So, have you ever tried it?"
Nun : "No, I haven't ever taken a drink of hard liquor."
Man : "Well, don't criticize me if you haven't tried it. I'll tell you what if you try it and don't like it, I'll give up drinking for life."
Nun : "Okay but bring it in a tea cup. I don't want people thinking I'm drinking."
The man goes up to the bartender and says, Bring me a couple of shots of v**... but bring one of them in a tea cup.
The bartender looked at the man and said, Is that nun in here again?
My wife is being s**... harassed at work
It all began when she started working from home.
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
Mom: Why don't you talk to John anymore?
Mom: Why don't you talk to John anymore?
Me: If you get to know one of your friends harasses women when he sees them alone, does drugs, throws stones at stray animals and laughs at their misery, gets into fights for no reason, abuses his girlfriend and bunks classes, would you still talk to him?
Mom: No way!
Me: Neither will John.
I was caught staring at a cute girl's b**...
harassment a lot to me.
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine
He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
A teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence
One of the student raises his hand and says: My big brother is really depressed nowadays
The teacher asks: why ?
The kid goes: he broke up with his girlfriend
So the teacher asks the student and how is this relevant?
He says: Harassment a lot to him
So this dude dies and goes to heaven...
... as he's approaching the pearly gates, St Peter says to him. "Ok, it's like this. You don't get into heaven just for being good anymore. You have to have done something really great. Can you think of anything that might qualify you?"
The man says. "Well, I once saw a group of really mean bikies harassing a little old lady. So I went up to the leader, I spat in his face, I kicked over his bike and I insulted his girlfriend!"
St Peter says, "That's terrific! When did you do that?"
"Oh, about 30 seconds ago."
I lost my watch at a party
I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at the party. Infuriated I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
I lost my watch at a party once.
An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
My wife complains about constantly being s**... harassed at work
I told her she can stop working from home and go back to the office if she doesn't like it
s**... harassment should not be joked about
It's a very touchy subject to some people
Lost my watch on the floor of a party
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while s**... harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl... Not on my watch.
A man goes to the police to report s**... harassment in the work place by a group of h**... work colleagues.
He's a zoo keeper in the rhino enclosure.
An intern recently started working for an IT programming firm.
Everyday he went into work he was always harassed by his peers, they kept saying he was never being true always being false.
#
So I had to step in, I couldn't let them
keep Boolean him.
My mother always told me I should treat people the way I want to be treated.
but every time I do, I get charged with s**... harassment.
I lost my watch at a party once.
An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch
