Happy Sad Jokes

Bob, Rob, and Robert live on the six hundredth floor of an apartment building.

One day, the elevators are broken, so they have to take the stairs. To entertain themselves, they decide that for the first 200 floors, Bob will tell happy stories, for the middle 200 floors, Rob will tell funny stories, and for the last 200 floors, Robert will tell sad stories. On the 401st floor, Robert says, "Here's my sad story: I left our apartment's keys in the car."

When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad.

It says he's Chuck Norris.

Valentine's Day for people who are single.

For people who are sad about being single: it's called Single Awareness Day
For people who are happy about being single: it's called Single Independence Day
For people who just don't care about being single: it's just called Thursday
For people like me: I call it Date With My Right Hand otherwise known as Everyday

Lorraine and Clearly

A guy had an abusive girlfriend named Lorraine. Lorraine didn't know her boyfriend was cheating on her with a lovely girl named Clearly. In August Lorraine died. At the f**..., People wondered why the guy wasn't sad,and why he was so happy.
When they asked him why he was so happy at the f**... he sang....
" I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone !"

I can't believe how happy and sad Iam, at the same time. Happy- because I won 5 million dollars. Sad- because my best friend was jealous of me and asked me to delete my spam folder.

Creationism v Feminism

In the beginning god made everything and said it was good.
Then he asked Adam, "Is there anything else you could possibly want?"
Adam replied, "I want a companion. Someone that will always be there for me. Someone that will love me, console me when I'm sad, celebrate with me when I'm happy, and stimulate me when I'm bored. I want a true soul mate."
God says "Ok... But that will cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam sighs and says "Alright then... What can I get for a rib?"

A man is at his wife's f**...

He looks very sad. Then the priest came to him and said: " Don't worry son, 6 months from now you'll find a beautiful woman and you'll be happy again."
The man was shocked. He said: "6 months???? What am i going to do tonight?"

My Senior Quote

"Don't be sad because it's over, be happy because it happened."
-Adolf h**...

story of Robert who live with 2 friends in floor no 600

Bob, Rob, and Robert live on the six hundredth floor of an apartment building. One day, the elevators are broken, so they have to take the stairs. To entertain themselves, they decide that for the first 200 floors, Bob will tell happy stories, for the middle 200 floors, Rob will tell funny stories, and for the last 200 floors, Robert will tell sad stories. On the 401st floor, Robert says, "Here's my sad story: I left our apartment's keys in the car."

Studies show the effects of divorce on young children are complex.

Sadness and anxiety are common, but many are just happy to be single again.

A great man once said, "Don't be sad it's over. Be happy it happened."

Then he killed himself.
Classic h**....

A couple was having a conversation, when...

...the husband turns to his wife and tells her: "I bet you can't say one thing that will make me happy and sad at the same time."
The wife thinks about it for a second and then replies: "Yours is bigger than your friends'."

My wife said, "When I die, I want everyone at my f**... to be happy, not sad and depressed."

I said, "Don't worry. They will be."

Happy International Women's Day!

Or a sad one, or an angry one, or maybe a passive aggressive one. You never really know with women.

A man tells his wife, "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

The wife responds, "This joke is as old and funny as you are."

A man walks into a bar looking proud as can be

A man looks at his friend and says "Man, he sure looks happy." His friend agrees and goes up to the man. "Pardon me mister, but why are you so happy?" The man chuckles and sits down with the men. "I am happy because I just had s**... with a woman who was tied to the train tracks." The two men look at each other in astonishment. "Tell us more." Says the first man. So the man tells them about all the positions and things. "So did you get head?" Said the Second man. The man shakes his head and says "Sadly no. I couldn't find it."

They say money can't buy happiness…

But tell me, have you ever seen a sad man in a Ferrari?

Good way to reduce alcohol consumption

William Sexfear's one good way to reduce alcohol consumption..
Before marriage- Drink whenever you are sad.
After marriage- Drink whenever you are happy.

Make me happy and sad with one sentence

A wife and a husband lies in bed and the man asks : wife, I bet you can't make me with one sentence happy and sad at the same time...
The wife replies that's easy : in comparison to all your best friends you have the biggest one 😅

One day a man says to his wife

"Our relationship lacks depth. Tell me something that makes me feel both happy and sad."
So the wife thinks and finally responds, "Of all your friends, yours is the biggest."

I just found my first gray p**... hair, and am happy and sad at the same time...

Happy it was not mine, sad that I found it in my Burger King whopper.

What did the cheerful man tell the sad child?

If you can't be happy, at least be sadeerful!

Joke said by italian plumber

A man ask his woman: honey, tell me a thing that makes me happy and sad at the same time.
She thinks for a while then:
you're the most gifted of all your friends.

I was happy when I was getting baptized

Then I got pulled out of the water and I then I was sad again.

My wife's lost an eye. She was sad about it, of course...

But I was extremely happy, coz I have a new hole to deal with in bed

One evening when I was playing on my console..

One evening when I was playing on my console I noticed my girlfriend, who was sitting right next to me on the couch, looking all gloomy and sad.
Naturally I asked her what was wrong but she didn't answer.
So I turned of my console and she goes "why did you stop ?". I told her there's something much better than my console.
She looked really happy.
Until I turned on my PC.

A man and his wife are looking for a job

The man, unable to find any employment in his field, decides to apply for anything he can find in the hopes of earning enough to feed his family.
A few days later, he comes home overjoyed. His wife enquires, and he happily said he found a job as a stuntman in a circus! The pay is good, he has great insurance and he begins tomorrow to practice what will be his main act, the human cannonball. They both go to sleep happy, and the next morning the man leaves for work.
Hours pass, and the man comes back home, with a very sad look on his face. His wife enquires, and he explains..
"I went to work, I got into the cannon to be shot but right after that, they fired me!"

A husband asks his wife, 'Honey, can you tell me anything that makes me happy and sad at the same time?

The wife thinks for a moment and says, 'Of all your friend's, yours is the biggest one'
(Sorry if I made any mistake, I tried to translate it from my mother tongue)

I took my daughter to the park yesterday. Everything was going fine until we got to one particular ride. First she happy, then she was sad, then she was unbelievably angry...

Those were some crazy mood swings.

You shouldn't worry about headaches

I mean, it's all in your head.

So there's this guy, richest man in the world…

Has everything he's ever dreamed of and becomes sad. He decides to end his life since nothing else can make him happy. Down below he finds an armless man dancing, and wonders why someone with no arms is dancing. How can someone be so happy ? He then goes down below to ask why is he dancing, and the man says I'm not dancing I'm trying to scratch my a**...

A husband and wife are sitting together at breakfast...

The husband is reading a paper and says "Look honey, according to this article, it's impossible to be happy and sad about the same thing." She thinks for a second and says "Oh yeah? Between you and all your brothers, you're "the biggest.""

A man is walking through a park where he sees 2 men sitting on a bench, one of them is a young man who looks sad and the other is an old man who looks happy

he says to the young man, "Why are you so sad?"
the young man replies, "My wife left me. she said she never wanted to see me again..."
the man then talks to the old man sitting next to him and asks, "and why are YOU so happy?"
the old man replies, "I'm going through the same thing he is"

After fighting off waves of attacks by the Spartans, Paris went to visit with Helen

But alas, she was not very happy.
What is wrong, my love?
It's nothing.
Come on, my love, I sacrificed so much for you, so you must divulge why you're not happy. He pleaded.
It's nothing.
I'm pleading with you! I will defeat the whole spartan army and Achiles himself to see that smile again! Please, for the love of Zeus, why are you sad?
Well, it's just…
Yes? What is it?
If you must know…
Yes? Yes? He asked, encouraging her.
I only count 999 ships.