The Best 35 Happy New Year Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Happy New Year jokes. There are some happy new year sad jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these happy new year week puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Happy New Year Jokes and Puns

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

"Why"? Putin asks

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."

"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet !!"

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people.

So overweight people are now average, which means you have met your New Year's resolution.

Happy new year!

Hillary Clinton is the Windows 10 of the election

She's terrible at keeping your information safe, keeps promising new upgrades but really has been the same OS since 98, and is constantly trying to install herself when you're happy with the system you've been using for the last 8 years.

I finally managed to achieve my new years resolution

My 4K monitor turned up this morning, I'm so happy!!

I know the secret to leaving a casino with a small fortune

Walk in with a big fortune.
Happy new year


Happy New Years 2013!

Hey guys I'm sending this through Internet Explorer, hope you guys had a great 2012!

Happy new year!

-sent from internet explorer

How do they say Happy New Years in Australia?

sɹɐǝ⅄ ʍǝN ʎddɐH

Hello everyone. I'm using Internet explorer so I hope this gets out in time.

Happy New Year 2006

An old man talking to a new friend, said, "you know, my wife and I were happy for 40 years"

The other guy responded, "oh? What happened after 40 years?"

The first man sighed, "we met".

Happy New Year #2018

first.

You can explore happy new year fonzie reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean happy new year ohanian dad jokes. There are also happy new year puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


This is the last time you will ever hear this joke and have it make sense

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Yourself: I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

Happy new year everyone. I'm sorry to all those who are in the future right now who can't enjoy this joke.

Happy new year!

Sorry, I suffer from premature congratulation.

Merry christmas and happy new year!

- Internet explorer

What did the blind paraplegic child get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Happy new years folks!

Hope this all gets to you in time, using Internet Explorer!

Happy New Year 2007!

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 20🇧🇷🇩🇪!

Happy new year everyone!

Sorry, I'm a premature congratulator.

Happy new year!!

Sorry I use internet explorer.


Happy New Year!

From all of us here at the Internet Explorer team...

Welcome to 2016!

Happy New Year 2016!

Have I mentioned Internet Explorer is a great browser?

My internet is so slow...

Anyway, Happy New Year! Here's to hoping 2014 is a great year!

Ethiopia is ages behind the rest of the world.

Happy Ethiopian new year!!! 2011

Happy New Years!

Can we just celebrate a new year tomorrow and be done with 2020 and cheer 2021?

I'm sending this through internet explorer on Australian Fibre To The Node

Happy New Year 2011!

Happy New year America! from your friend Australia.

Don't worry I expect it'll take about 18 or so hours for you to get this.

A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody.

" and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man."

And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"

[NSFW] Happy new year! You are among the first to lose....

The game!

Happy New Year Buffalo Bills fans!

Hope you all have a great 20-19!

Everyone from Detroit, Happy New Year.

But don't mistaken the gunshots this evening with fireworks.

I had a guy tell me Happy New Year but he said "see you in 2020."

Either he had the year wrong, or he made a comment on his fantastic vision.

What do you say to a Jewish New Zealander this time of year?

Happy Hakanuh!

"Welcome back, happy New Year!"

"Thank you!"

"Welcome!"

And that's the last time I'm taking Bollywood movie suggestions from my friends.

Happy New Year !

Usain Bolt is already in 2016.

What does a Ghost say on 12/31? Happy New Fear!/Happy boo year!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the happy new year cakeday jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working happy new year snew piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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