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Happy New Year Jokes

65 happy new year jokes and hilarious happy new year puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about happy new year that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Happy New Year Short Jokes

Short happy new year jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The happy new year humour may include short new year jokes also.

  1. Knock Knock Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Mary.
    Mary who?
    Mary Christmas!
    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Anna.
    Anna who?
    Anna happy new year!
    Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Reddit :)
  2. Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average, which means you have met your New Year's resolution.
    Happy new year!
  3. The average person has s**... 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!
  4. I know the secret to leaving a casino with a small fortune Walk in with a big fortune.
    Happy new year
  5. Happy New Years 2013! Hey guys I'm sending this through Internet Explorer, hope you guys had a great 2012!
  6. What do being mad at the world and watching the ball drop have in common? Both involve yelling at a big blue ball.
    P.S: Happy New Year! 10 more minutes!
  7. Hello everyone. I'm using Internet explorer so I hope this gets out in time. Happy New Year 2006
  8. A programmer won a contest.... ... by getting the 0th position. Hip hip Array!!
    (Happy new year everyone!)
  9. An old man talking to a new friend, said, "you know, my wife and I were happy for 40 years" The other guy responded, "oh? What happened after 40 years?"
    The first man sighed, "we met".
  10. Happy New Years! Can we just celebrate a new year tomorrow and be done with 2020 and cheer 2021?

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Happy New Year One Liners

Which happy new year one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with happy new year? I can suggest the ones about news years and new year wishes.

  1. Happy new year to everyone Unless you're Australian, in which case ɹɐǝʎ ʍǝu ʎddɐH
  2. Happy new year! -sent from internet explorer
  3. How do they say Happy New Years in Australia? sɹɐǝ⅄ ʍǝN ʎddɐH
  4. A toast for tonight! 2020 is hindsight!
    Happy New Years!
  5. Happy New Year #2018 first.
  6. What did the blind paraplegic child get for Christmas? Cancer.
    Happy new years folks!
  7. Merry christmas and happy new year! - Internet explorer
  8. Hope this all gets to you in time, using Internet Explorer! Happy New Year 2007!
  9. Happy New Year! Welcome to 20🇧🇷🇩🇪!
  10. Happy new year!! Sorry I use internet explorer.
  11. Happy New Year! From all of us here at the Internet Explorer team...
    Welcome to 2016!
  12. Happy New Year 2016! Have I mentioned Internet Explorer is a great browser?
  13. My internet is so slow... Anyway, Happy New Year! Here's to hoping 2014 is a great year!
  14. Ethiopia is ages behind the rest of the world. Happy Ethiopian new year!!! 2011
  15. Happy New Year Buffalo Bills fans! Hope you all have a great 20-19!

Hilarious Happy New Year Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about happy new year you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean new year new me jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make happy new year pranks.

A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man."
And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"

What does a Ghost say on 12/31? Happy New Fear!/Happy boo year!

Happy new year!! Brrrrrr it's cold outside...

It has to be the coldest day of the year!!!

Happy New Year !

Usain Bolt is already in 2016.

Happy New Years 2015! Thanks for all the memories in 2014...

"Welcome back, happy New Year!"

"Thank you!"
"Welcome!"
And that's the last time I'm taking Bollywood movie suggestions from my friends.

This is the last time you will ever hear this joke and have it make sense

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Yourself: I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

Happy new year everyone. I'm sorry to all those who are in the future right now who can't enjoy this joke.

What do mechanical physicists call "New Years"?

Happy Earth at Zero Displacement Day!

Happy new year

Happy new year 201**6**

Hillary Clinton is the Windows 10 of the election

She's terrible at keeping your information safe, keeps promising new upgrades but really has been the same OS since 98, and is constantly trying to install herself when you're happy with the system you've been using for the last 8 years.

Happy new year!

Sorry, I suffer from p**... congratulation.

What do you say to a Jewish New Zealander this time of year?

Happy Hakanuh!

Happy new year everyone!

Sorry, I'm a p**... congratulator.

Happy New year America! from your friend Australia.

Don't worry I expect it'll take about 18 or so hours for you to get this.

(NEW YEARS) what did the rabbi say on New year's.

"f#c**... that, happy **Jew** years!!"

What did Santa said to a Black guy one second after the end of 2016

Happy new year!

I'm sending this through internet explorer on Australian Fibre To The Node

Happy New Year 2011!

I had a guy tell me Happy New Year but he said "see you in 2020."

Either he had the year wrong, or he made a comment on his fantastic vision.

Everyone from Detroit, Happy New Year.

But don't mistaken the gunshots this evening with fireworks.

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

"Why"? Putin asks
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet !!"

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Sorry, I suffer from p**... congratulation.

Remember, having s**... on a regular basis helps keep your memory healthy and functioning properly.

Here's to an unforgettable new year!! Happy 2018, everyone!!

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff, remember when that Polish plane crashed with their president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!!"

A guy walks into a bar, orders a bottle of champagne and yells "Happy New Year!"

"It's not even close to midnight yet, you idiot," the bartender reprimands him. "Oh, I'm sorry. I suspect I might have a rare medical condition that makes me yell that," the guy apologizes. "I think I suffer from p**... congratulations."

Russian prime minister Medvedev comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff. Remember when that Polish plane crashed with their president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!!"

jokes about happy new year