Happy Mothers Day Jokes
53 happy mothers day jokes and hilarious happy mothers day puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about happy mothers day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Happy Mothers Day Short Jokes
Short happy mothers day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The happy mothers day humour may include short mothers day jokes also.
- The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife... Thank you for everything, Mom.
Happy Mothers' Day! - I'd like to wish all mothers a Happy Mother's Day! …and make all the Americans panic.
(It's Mother's Day in the UK, for those worriedly looking at their calendar.) - Mom#1- That's it. I'm done. I'm selling the kid on eBay Mom#2- Don't be crazy. You made him. That does on Etsy
Happy Mother's Day everyone! - [In a seahorse home] Son: Dad? Dad: Yes?
Son: Happy M-
Dad: DON'T
Son: Moth-
Dad: STOP
Son: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
*Dad bangs head on desk* - Happy Mother's Day to all the great moms out there. And Shaft. Although I hear he is a bad mother...
- Mother: (noun) 1.One person who does the work of 20. For free Happy mothers day all Mommy's out there ! :)
- Getting to the front page is like getting my dad's love I may never get it, but still I keep trying.
Happy mother's day to all the wonderful mom's who picked both roles in their kids lives :) - Me: Did you wish your mother happy Mother's day? Husband: No, she didn't even wish me happy son-day
- Happy Mother's Day Quotes ,Sayings and wishes
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Happy Mothers Day One Liners
Which happy mothers day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with happy mothers day? I can suggest the ones about happy fathers day and mother birthday.
- For all you ladies who didn't use protection this weekend Happy Mother's Day!
- Happy Fat Tuesday... Or as your mother calls it, just another day.
- What is the hardest way to lose 6-14 pounds? Having a baby!
Happy Mother's Day! - Dear necessity, happy mothers day! -Invention.
- Happy Mother's Day to my Dad I didn't want to assume his gender
- I can't wish my mom a Happy Mothers Day because she doesn't have Facebook. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Thanks for putting out Mom! ~ everyone. Happy Mother's Day!
- Happy Mother's Day! Yes, it's today. How fast can you glue macaroni into a bracelet?
- Happy labor day to all the mothers out there.
- Happy mother's day To all of the would be mothers who got abortions instead!
- What dance do mothers like best? The mom-ba!
Happy mother's day! - Happy Mothers Day We love all you mothers.
- Happy Mother's Day to moms around the world !!! advanced aprils fools day guys!!!
- I wonder if Bruce Jenner got wished a happy Mother's Day. Title
- Happy Mothers Day to all of the moms out there! Scared you didn't I?
Amusing Happy Mothers Day Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about happy mothers day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fathers day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make happy mothers day pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day, Bob came home from school very happy and that got his mother suspicious; "What’s the matter Bob? How come you’re that happy?"
"You can’t even imagine-..! Today at school, I planted a bomb on the teacher’s chair and we all laughed sooo hard!"
The mother upset: "Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Don’t you know that you’re going to be suspended? How you think you’re gonna show up in the school again tomorrow?"
And Bob, with a s**... smile on his face: "School? What school?"
Goodbye Mother.
A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around. Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him. She finally overtook him just before the checkout where she turned to him and said:
"I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable - it's just that you look so much like my late son."
"Oh, that's ok," he said.
"I know it's silly," she continued, "but if you called out 'Goodbye, Mother' as I leave, it would make me ever so happy." The old lady proceeded through the checkout and as she left the supermarket, the man called out "Goodbye Mother." The old lady waved back, and kindly smiled.
Pleased he had brought a bit of sunshine to someone's day the man went to pay for his groceries.
"That'll be 105 dollars 35," said the clerk.
"How come?" inquired the man. "I've only bought a few things!"
"Yeah, but your mother said you'd pay for her..."
A young man shopping in a supermarket
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
She then said, "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mum' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mum."
The little old lady waved and smiled back at him..
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $137.85," said the clerk..
"How come so much? I only bought 5 items."
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."
The lost son
A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around. Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him. She finally overtook him just before the checkout where she turned to him
and said:
"I hope I haven't made you feel
uncomfortable - it's just that you look so much like my late son."
"Oh, that's ok," he said.
"I know it's silly," she continued, "but if you called out 'Goodbye, Mother' as I leave, it would make me ever so happy." The old lady
proceeded through the checkout and as she left the supermarket, the man called out "Goodbye Mother." The old lady waved back,
and kindly smiled.
Pleased he had brought a bit of sunshine to someone's day the man went to pay for his
groceries.
"That'll be 105 dollars 35," said the clerk.
"How come?" inquired the man. "I've only bought a few things
"Yeah, but your mother said you'd pay for her"
The Wasp
There once was a wasp, he wasn't very happy with his life in the hive. One day he decided to go back to high school. After his senior year he graduated with flying colours, a 4.0 GPA, honours with distinction and 4 scholarships. After high school he applies to Harvard. Of course, he gets accepted and breezes through, finishing with 5 phDs. He then decides he wants to go into politics. He starts out municipally and then onto state government, until he finally decides to run for President of the United States. He wins in a landslide, he was so popular that it was rumoured the opposition even voted for him. After his 8 years in office (yes, he got reelected) he remembers all the other wasps he left behind in the hive. He goes back to visit them. He sees his mother, his father, his auntie, his uncle, his brothers, his sisters, his cousins, and his one in-bred half brother on his dads side. When he is there he gets thirsty, he goes to the watering hole but there is a gigantic line, he estimates that it would take him 3 days to get a drink. "No point in waiting that long." He said. Then he made his way to the cider, but there is an even longer line there. Suddenly, he remembers that almost no one drinks punch in his hive. He makes his way over to the punch bowl, and guess what? There is no punchline.
A little girl is attending her first wedding...
And as the priest is reading the vows, she leans over to her mother and whispers, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explains, "and today is the happiest day in her life."
The child ponders this for a moment and then asks, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
A man brought his son to a grocery store...
A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance.
Despite the scene his son was causing, the father was cool and collected, slowly and calmly saying, "Don't worry, Donald. It'll be alright, Donald, we'll be home soon."
A nearby mother was very impressed with the father's self control, and wanted to express her gratitude for such calm parenting. "Sir, I'm amazed that you are able to be so calm! It's not every day I see such patient and gracious parenting. Now little guy, what seems to be the problem, Donald?"
"Oh no, ma'am, you're mistaken!" The father interjected, "This is my son, Henry. I'm Donald!"
^(*Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there! Thank you for all you do.*)
Cheeky
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said,"I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease, it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.
"How come so much? I only bought 5 items!"
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Happy Mother's Day
To all the guys and s**... bank who helped you get your gifts and brunch today
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[OC] What do you call a Portable s**... Bank?
Your Momma.
Happy Mother's Day folks
A kid goes to ask his mom...
A mother with 3 children has one of them come up to her and ask
"Mom, why am I nicknamed little dropplet?"
"Well you see son, the day you were born a little drop fell right on your forehead! So thats why."
Little droplet walks out of the room, happy. His brother, little feather, goes in for the same question.
"Mom, why am I nicknamed little feather?"
"Well you see son, the day you were born a little feather fell right on your forehead! So thats why."
Little feather walks out of the room, happy. His brother little brick goes in for the question:
"UHHHH AUGH AUUUUGHHHH AH?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you do when your mother-in-law comes crawling to your front door?
Reload and shoot again.
Happy Mother's day!
We all know that there's a divide in the lepidopterist community...
We all know that there's a divide in the lepidopterist community, and that traditionally most of the glamour goes to the entomologists who study the butterflies, because they're so pretty and colorful, rather than the brown and grey moths. So for 364 days a year, the butterflyers get all the glory. But today is the day when we recognize the contributions of those devoted lepidopterists who chose a less glamorous, but no less important, path. Happy mothers day.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Stork family comes home at the end of the day
The storks sit down for dinner. Mama Stork says "Father Stork, what did you do today?"
Father Stork says "I was out making couples very happy. What did you do today Mama Stork?"
Mama Stork says "I also was out making couples very happy. What did you do today Baby Stork?"
Baby Stork says "I was out scaring the c**... out of college students."
(Cultural note: in many cultures, a common myth is that storks deliver babies to mothers instead of mothers giving birth)
