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Happy Birthday Wishes Jokes

25 happy birthday wishes jokes and hilarious happy birthday wishes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about happy birthday wishes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Happy Birthday Wishes Short Jokes

Short happy birthday wishes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The happy birthday wishes humour may include short birthday wish jokes also.

  1. I absolutely HATE when people make a post subtly implying that it's their cake day just so people can wish them a happy birthday. You won't catch me doing that today.
  2. I can see why Paul Walker jokes aren't funny anymore. Poor guy can't catch a "brake".




    (P.S. Happy Birthday Paul Walker. I wish u were still here)
  3. Happy birthday Georges Seurat! I wish I could remember why he's famous but my knowledge of his work is a little spotty.
  4. What did the pillar say when he forgot to wish his friend happy birthday? I'll column later.
  5. I got my drug dealer arrested the other day Maybe next time you'll wish me happy birthday, mom
  6. I overheard it was my co-worker's birthday tomorrow so I wished her a happy birthday eve. She said her name is Claire and her birthday is actually tomorrow.

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Happy Birthday Wishes One Liners

Which happy birthday wishes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with happy birthday wishes? I can suggest the ones about happy birthday and birthday bad.

  1. I want to wish you a Happy Birthday in Chinese. yung no mo !
  2. I wished Happy Birthday to him but he was crying.
  3. Happy Birthday Jesus Christ May Allah give what you wish for.

Gather Around for Heartwarming Happy Birthday Wishes Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about happy birthday wishes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean birthday celebration jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make happy birthday wishes pranks.

Russian prime minister Medvedev comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff. Remember when that Polish plane crashed with their president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!!"

What's the first way to know when you're growing old?

It's your birthday and the only ones who wish you happy birthday are your doctors.
(Not so much a joke. It's my birthday and guess who wished me happy birthday so far.)
Edit: finally, a couple of family members have said it. They're still outnumbered five to one by medical staff. Lol!

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

"Why"? Putin asks
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet !!"

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff, remember when that Polish plane crashed with their president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!!"

I got a divorce for my birthday.

When I woke up, my wife and kids forgot to wish me a happy birthday. I didn't get any birthday cards or phone calls. When I went into work my secretary wished me happy birthday and I felt really special.
We went out for a drink after work to celebrate and she invited me back to her place. She excused herself for a minute an went into her bedroom and returned with my wife, kids and all my friends.
I was sitting on the couch n**....

"I'm 29 years old today..."

"I'm 29 years old today," said Ralph, setting a box of donuts on the table in the office. His coworkers all wished him a happy birthday.
Next day, Ralph's secretary answers the phone...
"Hello, my name is Carl. I'm Ralph's brother in law, and I'd like to wish Ralph a happy birthday," says the man on the line.
"Birthday? You're a day late. He just told us yesterday he turned 29."
"No," says Carl. "He *was* 29 yesterday. *Today* he's 30."
(based on a true story)

Why did the man get a divorce?

Why did the man get a divorce? Well, last week was the man's birthday. His wife didn't wish him a happy birthday. His kids and his parents forgot as well. He went to work and not even one of his colleagues wished him a happy birthday. As the man entered his office, his secretary said "Happy birthday, boss!" The man felt so special. She asked him out for lunch. After lunch, she invited him to her apartment. When they got there, she said "do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay" he said. She came out with a birthday cake, his wife, parents, kids, and colleagues all yelling "SURPRISE!" while he was waiting on the couch n**....

Why did I get divorced?

Well, last week it was my birthday, my wife didn't wish me a happy birthday, my kids didn't, and even my parents didn't even remember. I went to work and none of my colleagues nor my friends wished my a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, Happy birthday boss I felt so special. She invited me to lunch, then after lunch she invited me to my apartment. We went there and she said Do you mind if I go to the bedroom real quick? I said okay and 5 minutes later she comes out with a big birthday cake, my friends, my family, my kids my friends, and my colleagues all came out and yelled SURPRISE!!!! While I was laying on the sofa n**......

waiting on the sofa... n**....

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... n**....

My birthday was last week

My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday.
My parents forgot and so did my kids.
I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!"
I felt so special.
She asked me out to lunch.
After lunch she invited me to her apartment.
When we got there, she asked, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay," I replied.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, and all my colleagues as they yelled "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa.. n**....

This week I got divorced.

last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... n**....

Why did John get divorced?

Well, last week was his birthday. His wife didn't wish him a happy birthday. His parents forgot and so did his kids. He went to work and even his colleagues didn't wish him a happy birthday. As he entered his office, his secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" He felt so special. She asked him out for lunch. After lunch, she invited him to her apartment. They went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," He said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, his wife, his parents, his kids, his friends, & his colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while John was waiting on the sofa... n**...

Why did i get Divorced?

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parentsforgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said,"Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... n**....