Share Hilarious Happiness Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.
Life is good you know. So I suggest you get one.
Wife to husband: "I'm pregnant!"
Husband: "You're kidding me!"
My tennis opponent was not happy with my serve. He kept returning it.
How do we know that soccer referees are happy? Because they whistle while they work.
Why was the horse so happy? Because he lived in a stable environment.
It is difficult to tell who gives some couples the most happiness.
The minister who marries
them or the judge who divorces them.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You can't imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him put his p**... back in his pocket.
I'm not one to brag about my financial skills,
but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding.
Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die?
Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground.
You can explore happiness bliss reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean happiness void dad jokes. There are also happiness puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A little girl is attending her first wedding...
And as the priest is reading the vows, she leans over to her mother and whispers, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explains, "and today is the happiest day in her life."
The child ponders this for a moment and then asks, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
So this one time I offered some shrimp to this Jewish friend of mine...
Me: This shrimp is great. Wanna try some?
Friend: Sorry, I'm Jewish.
Me: No, it's free!
A child asks his father how to be happy. He replied, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married..."
"...and then it was too late."
If money doesn't buy happiness..
then explain why you have to pay for a divorce.
How can happiness start with a H...
When mine starts with a U?
Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness?
He was too super fish oil.
What do you call a fortune teller that always predicts happiness for her clients?
A h**... with a gimmick
Some people brings happiness wherever they go
I bring happiness whenever I go
One does not know true happiness until he gets married
But then it's too late...
Source: I heard it in a PS2 Raw vs Smackdown game...
Why can't tennis players ever find happiness?
Because love means nothing to them.
People say money is not the key to happiness
But with enough money, you can have a key made.
Money can't buy happiness...
Poverty can't buy *Anything*
New scientific research finds a link between blood type and happiness. The best blood type for happiness?
B positive.
There are a mother and child at a wedding.
The child turns to her mother and asks "Mommy, why is the Bride wearing white?" The mother quietly responds "Because, white is seen as the color of happiness, and this is the happiest day of her life!" The child ponders this for a moment, and then turns to her mother again. "Then why is the Groom wearing black?"
They say money can't buy happiness
But it can buy a boat and invite happiness over for the weekend.
Money can't buy you happiness
but it can buy you the presidency
People say money can't buy happiness...
They must have never met a Russian Olympic medalist then.
So, a stutterer was a wedding
He stand's up and says:
-hip, hip
And then everyone on the wedding party said with their glasses raised:
-HURRAY
The stutterer, tried again, but louder
-HIP!! HIP!!
Everyone raised their glasses again and shouted out of their lungs!
-HUURRAAAAY!!!!!
The stutterer, again, yelled with both arms raised!!
-HIIPPPP !! HIPPP!!!
Everyone on the party became one, all the happiness expressed with one single shout!
-HURRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!
But then, everyone was killed by a herd of ~~hippopotamus~~ Hippopotamuses
When I was young, I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness. . . .
I was right.
What's the use of happiness?
It can't buy you money.
Be wary about dating a female that pronounces the letter H silent
Especially when she tells you that all she wants is happiness.
I didn't know what happiness was until I got married.
But by then it was too late.
Having a good friend is just like peeing your pants.
Everybody can see it but only you feel that warm sensation of happiness.
Happiness is like peeing in your pants
Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth
They say that happiness is the key to everything...
So when I got locked out of my house, I smiled at the lock
For anyone who says "money cant buy you happiness"
You obviously have never paid for a divorce.
Money can't buy happiness...
but it makes a great down payment!
"Money doesn't buy happiness."
Clearly you've never been poor.
A child asks his mother
why the bride wears white on her wedding day. His mother responds, "Because white represents happiness, and that's the happiest day of her life!" The child thinks for a while and then asks, "Then why does the groom wear black?"
Chris Cornell dies and goes to heaven
At the gate, St. Peter says, "because your beautiful voice and amazing talent brought happiness to so many people, we'll grant you one wish".
Chris thought about it for a moment and replied, "I'd like the world to be a kinder, better place".
So St. Peter killed Roger Ailes.
Husband on second day of marriage...
...goes to the beautician who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her beautifully packed iphone 7 plus box.
She opened the box with great happiness and was depressed to see a Nokia 1100.
Husband smiled and said
' same feeling '
Today I donated a watch...
Today I donated a watch and $500 dollars to a poor guy. You don't know the happiness I felt as I saw him put back his knife in his pocket.
"Happiness is just around the corner,
too bad the world is round."
My granddad was a wise man...
...he told me that you can't find happiness all by yourself. To live a truly happy life you need to be in a fulfilling relationship. You need to find a wife that loves you unconditionally, a wife that challenges you on a daily basis, a wife that you always want to make love to and most importantly you must make sure that they'll never meet.
Why is a cheeseburger better than eternal happiness?
1. Nothing is better than eternal happiness.
2. A cheeseburger is better than nothing.
Husband on second day of marriage :-
He went to the makeup artist who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her a beautifully packed iphone X box.
Make up artist opened the box with great happiness but was suddenly depressed to see a Nokia 1100.
Husband smiled and said "same feeling I had when I saw my wife this morning"
What starts with M, ends with E and can bring two people eternal happiness?
Me, I'm a divorce lawyer
Where is happiness made?
At the satisfactory.
Some cause happiness wherever they go
Others whenever they go.
If the Swan symbolizes happiness, what bird symbolizes true love?
The s**....
Today I donated a laptop, a smartphone and $500 to a poor guy.
Can't express the happiness I got when I saw him putting the knife back in his pocket
One day Nick's wife asked him "What will he do if she were to die". Nick replied "I'll also die". She asked him "Why?" Nick replied
"Well, you know I have a heart condition and most likely I would not be able to tolerate that much happiness".
Always remember that other people aren't responsible for your happiness.
They're responsible for your unhappiness.
I saved a life today
I asked a homeless guy how he would feel if I gave him $1000.
He replied, I'd die of happiness.
So I didn't give it to him.
Happiness recipe.
I've found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
Some people cause happiness wherever they go
while some, whenever they go
Today I donated my watch
Today I donated my watch, my phone and 500$. You don't know the happiness I felt when he put his gun away.
At Oxford's men only English language competition, 200 males were participating
The challenge was to express Peacefulness, Happiness and Calmness in a single sentence.
The person who won the competition wrote....
"My wife is sleeping."
He also received standing ovation from the audience.
They say you can't buy happiness,
But between you and me, I know a guy.
Of course, he calls it ecstasy, but it's the same stuff.
If the Swan symbolizes happiness, then what bird symbolizes True Love?
The s**...
If happiness was money....
I'd be broke.
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
Teacher: can anyone name three Kings that brought happiness and peace to earth?
Student: Drin King, Smo King, and Fuc King!
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family...
... in another city!
A man asked a wise Guru: "What is the secret to eternal happiness?"
The wise Guru answered: "To not argue with fools."
The man says: "I disagree."
The wise Guru replied: "Yes, you are right."
I just donated the contents of my wallet, my iPhone X, and my $10,000 Rolex watch to some poor guy living on the streets.
You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he put his gun back into his pocket.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $300 to a poor guy.
You wouldn't believe the immense happiness and relief I felt as he slid the p**... back into his waistband.
Some people create happiness wherever they go.
Others, whenever they go.
My Friend: Find Happiness in small things.
Me: Sounds something your wife might say.
Why are short people always sad?
They cant reach happiness
If you're unhappy when single, you won't be happy in a relationship.
Happiness come from DRUGS not relationships.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness.
Has never paid for a divorce before.
Short people are always sad
Because they can never reach happiness
Money can't buy you happiness
But it can buy you happy ending
Money cant buy you happiness.
But I'd rather have my tears hit designer Bugatti leather than the composite foam in my car.
When I told my therapist about being unhappy, he said, "When it comes to happiness, a good analogy is a 3D-printer."
"Oh," I said, "You mean that I should make my own happiness?"
"No," he said. "I meant, most people don't have it, and many don't even know what it is."
Happiness is like peeing in your pants....
I haven't experienced it since I was eight.
They say money doesn't buy happiness
but money could buy me some yachts and that would at least give me some *fleet*ing joy
I gave a phone and 100 dollars to a homeless guy today.
You will never know the happiness I've felt when he put his gun away.
The five secrets to happiness (a Man's guide):
1. Find a woman who can make you laugh
2. Find a woman who can cook
3. Find a woman who really listens to you
4. Find a woman who is good in bed
5. Make sure these four women do not find out about each other
Today I donated my watch, phone and $500 to a poor guy.
You don't know the happiness I felt when I saw him put the knife back in his pocket.
Today I gave a homeless man $500 and an iPhone
I've never felt such happiness when he put his gun away.
A couple are having marital difficulties,
...and the wife suggests they see a marriage counsellor.
At their first session the counsellor asks the couple to explain to each other how they feel about their marriage.
The wife says: We are at a crossroads. To the left is bitterness, resentment, divorce and a life of unhappiness. To the right is reconciliation, love and lifelong happiness.
The husband says: I think you'll find that's a T-junction.
The Five Secrets To Happiness…
The Five Secrets to Happiness
Number one: Find a woman who can make you laugh.
Number two: Find a woman who can cook.
Number three: Find a woman who actually listens to you.
Number four: Find a woman who's good in bed.
And number five, the most important secret:
Make sure that these four women never find out about each-other.
A 45 year old woman arrives home from her doctor's exam, just gleaming with happiness.
Her husband, being a grump, asked: What's got you so happy!?
The woman says, The doctor said I am in great health. He was also impressed and said I have the b**... of a 20 year old!!
The husband scoffs.
Then asked, Really? And what did he say about your 50 year old a**...!?
She responds, I don't know. He never asked about you.
Wife: I'm going shopping, do you need anything?
Husband: I'm looking for inner-peace and happiness, an answer to my doubts, a sense of fulfilment, a medium through which I can transcend consciousness and reach true spirituality, calmness and...
Wife: Be specific; Smirnoff or Absolut?
A cheese sandwich is better than complete happiness
Because nothing is better than complete happiness, and a cheese sandwich is better than nothing.
Being rich is not easy
Yesterday I donated my phone and wallet to a poor guy. You can't imagine the happiness that I felt as I saw him putting the gun back in his pocket. KINDNESS IS EVERYTHING!
Real happiness
A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman were discussing the meaning of real happiness
The English said "real happiness is reading a good book on a rainy night with a hot cup of tea by your side"
The Frenchman said : "non mon ami, real happiness is to meet a beautiful girl make love to her, then you go your separate ways never meeting again"
The Russian : "no you are both wrong, real happiness is when secret police come to your house in middle of night and tell you: Ivan Ivanovich you arrested for conspiracing against the state and you tell them : sorry Ivan Ivanovich lives next door."
This joke will Make you Cry out of Happiness!
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water!
When my daughter Ria turned 4, she was so crazy with happiness, I took her to the doctor who said:
Euphoria
Happiness is like wetting yourself.
Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's warmth.
Today I gave an iPhone and $500 to a homeless guy.
You will never know the happiness I felt when he put his gun away.
Today I donated my watch, phone and 90 bucks to a poor guy. You don't know the happiness I felt ....
... as I saw him put his knife back in pocket.
They say happiness comes from within...
That's why it feels so good to f**...💨
The 5 secrets to happiness for men....
1) Find a woman who can make you laugh.
2) Find a woman who can cook.
3) Find a woman who really listens to you.
4) Find a woman who is great in bed.
5) Make sure these 4 women don't find out about each other.
I never knew what happiness was until I got married.
And then it was too late.
Money can't buy happiness
but it can buy antidepressants
Putin goes to fortune teller to find out his future.
She says:
"I see you on the car, arriving to a parade, there's an enormous crowd, they're crying for happiness when they see you, everybody is happy".
"Great! I'll lead the parade, who I will handshake with?"
"Nobody, your coffin will be closed".
Money can't buy you happiness
But poverty can't buy you anything.
Logic 101
Nothing is better than eternal happiness.
A cheese sandwich is better than nothing.
Therefore, a cheese sandwich is better than eternal happiness.
Yesterday I donated my phone, wallet and watch to a poor guy...
You can't imagine the happiness that I felt as I saw him putting the gun back in his pocket.
