The Best 80 Happen Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Happen jokes. There are some happen exist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these happen gymnasium puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Happen Jokes and Puns

Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes.

Me: I've seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way.

Genie: I promise that won't happen. I'm so sure it won't I'll give you infinite wishes if it does.

Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.

Genie: You son of a ........

I've just started to read a horror novel in braille.

Something bad is gonna happen. I can feel it.

I'm reading a horror story in Braille

Something bad is about to happen...
I can feel it

Happen joke, I'm reading a horror story in Braille

A Gynecologist walks into an exam room

Gynecologist walks into an exam room. The woman on the exam table shows the doctor two strange green dots, one on each inner thigh. Puzzled at first, the doctor examines them more closely. He then asks the woman "Would you happen to be a lesbian?" The woman answers "Why, yes, but I don't see what that has to do with these dots!" The doctor replied.. "Tell your girlfriend to get some REAL gold earrings!"

The fencer thought he knew what was about to happen but...

...his opponent feinted.


What happened to the clock that was still hungry?

It went back 4 seconds.

What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory?

All that was left was de brie.

Happen joke, What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory?

What happened when the car took LSD?

It went on a road trip and had an auto body experience!

What happened?

A passerby saw a man laid flat on the sidewalk in front of the local beauty shop and ran to offer assistance. As the man came blinking into consciousness, the passerby asked, What happened?

The man rubbed the back of his head and said, I don't know! Last thing I remember, my wife was coming out of the salon there and I said, Well, at least they tried.

What happened when the cheese factory exploded?

De brie went everywhere

I hate when people say "She's out of your league"

Just because I'm in the majors, and she's a minor. Doesn't mean it can't happen.

You can explore happen occur reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean happen happend dad jokes. There are also happen puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was an udder disaster.

^(I'll show myself out)

So I've got some buddies...

They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical marijuana to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.

What happened when the orange slept with the dirty lemon?

He got lemonaids.

What happened with the wooden car with wooden wheels, wooden seats, and a wooden engine?

It wooden go.

what happened to the cow when it jumped over the barbed wire fence?

Udder destruction!

Happen joke, what happened to the cow when it jumped over the barbed wire fence?

What happened after the wheel was invented

a revolution

What happened to Steve Jobs before he died?

His life HTML5d before his eyes.

I heard 80% of all accident happen within 10 miles of home.

So I moved.


What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin...

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin sitting at a table. He walks up to them and asks what they are doing. Hitler says were planning WW3. The man asks what's going to happen this time. Hitler says this time were going to kill 15 million Jews and a bicycle repair man. The man asks why a bicycle repair man. Hitler turns to Stalin and says see I told you know one would care about the 15 million Jews.

What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party?

He got the cold shoulder.

Catholic girl goes into confessional

Catholic girl goes into the confessional & says to the priest,
"I think I am pregnant."

He asks, "How did this happen my child?"

"I think it must be the second coming," she replies.

The priest shocked by this statement asks, "What makes you think it
is the second coming?"

She replies, "Because I swallowed the first."

What'll happen if a piano is dropped on a man?

He will B flat

What happened to the frog who parked illegally?

he got toad

A blonde was rushed to the hospital

A blonde was rushed to the hospital with a bullet wound in her index finger.

Doctor: how did this happen?

Blonde: I tried to suicide.

Doctor: you shot your finger for suicide?

Blonde: No, I shot in my ear. But just before pulling the trigger, I realized that there would be a loud bang, so I closed my other ear with my finger.

Erections happen all the time

A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."

Animals can sense disasters before they happen.

That's why the neighbors dog barks whenever I make a move on a girl.

A hero comes to a village...

The villagers all looks very upset, so the hero ask what happen. "There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it will come down and eat one of our virgin girls" the villager reply. The hero then promise to help. Two weeks later, the dragon starved to death.

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

An Irish guy walks out of a bar....

It could happen.

To whoever stole my thesaurus...

To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person.

Art Thief

A mastermind thief infiltrates The Louvre and steals several paintings. He loads them all into his van and drives off. A few blocks away, his van breaks down. When the police arrive on the scene, one of the officers asks the mastermind how something like this could happen if he was so smart. The mastermind replies with "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

This actually just happened...

*Wife: I wanna get into coding.

*Me: Oh, that sounds fun. You might even earn some
money on the side while you're at home. What language
did you wana code in ?

*Wife: English. Duh!

I don't know why people are afraid of flying

Most crashes happen at ground level

An old man is dying..

His grandson asks him, "papa.. What will happen to your body when you die?" the grandfather looks up weakly at him and says, "I decay...". Just then his monitor flat lines and the boy sat wondering why his grandfather didnt know what would happen to his corpse.

My uncle is an idiot. He saw a commercial that said, "9 out of 10 accidents happen within a mile of your home."

So he up and moved

I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again.

I didn't get pulled over or anything, I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

My girl's father said "YOU TOOK MY DAUGHTER'S VIRGINITY"!

I replied, "Sorry. Won't happen again!"

A little girl was drawing a picture of Jonah inside the whale in class...

Her teacher asked her "What's that?"

"It's Jonah inside the belly of the whale from the Bible." She replied

The teacher, an atheist, told her "You know that didn't really happen."

She kept drawing "When I get to heaven I'll just ask Jonah."

"What if he's not in heaven? The teacher admonished.

The girl, still drawing "Then you ask him"

Teacher: You have the same mistakes as the person next to you, how could that happen?

Me: We have the same teacher.

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

A Catholic girl walks into a confessional and says "Father, I think I may be pregnant."

He replies "How did this happen, my child?"
She says "It must be the second coming."
The Priest is shocked by this statement and asks "What makes you think this?"
She replies "Because I swallowed the first."

A Woody Joke

What wood happen if you had a Wooden Car

With Wooden Seats

Wooden Tires

And A Wooden Engine?

It Wooden't Start

What happened to the overconfident lion-tamer?

He was consumed by his own pride.

The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate.

Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.

What happened when the escalator broke down?

Everyone stopped and staired! 🥁

What happened when the cannibal was late for lunch?

He was given the cold shoulder.

What would happen if two African countries get in a war?

A 3rd World War.

What happened when I jumped off a famous building in France?

Eiffel

If you see a robbery happen at an Apple store, what are you?

An iWitness

What happened to king Henry the VIII's wife's head?

(removed)

A doctor was treating a victim of a beating.

Doctor: How did this happen?

Patient: I was banging my neighbor over her kitchen table when we hear the front door open.
She said "It's my husband! Quick, try the back door!!"
Thinking back, I really should have ran, but you don't get offers like that every day.

An Irishman walks out of a bar

Hey, it could happen...

Man and his wife join a weight loss club. They're told to try and lose at least 2 pounds by the next week.

When they return after a week the mentor asks them how much they lost.

The wife begins, "I lost 10 pounds".

"That's amazing! Well done, and you?" He says, pointing at the husband.

"Well, I actually gained 10 pounds", the husband responds.

"Oh, that's no good at all. How did that happen?" asks the mentor.

"I bet my wife a tenner she wouldn't lose any weight this week".

My younger brother is an example of what can happen to people who get involved in drugs.

......an Audi Q7 & his own house by the age of 20.

A North American arrives in the UK on vacation and needs directions.

Two plus size women with accents are walking by. The Foreigner says excuse me. Do you two gals happen to be from England . One of the women replies No idiot. Wales!!!!

The Foreigner is taken aback. I'm sorry, let me start over he says. Excuse me. Do you two whales happen to be from England?

What's the worst thing that can happen to a man?

Running into a wall while erect and breaking your nose.

What happened to Satan's YouTube channel?

It got demon-itized

A mother and a son walk into a doctor's office

Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.
The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become stupid."
The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?"
"Well I don't know for sure but he hasn't passed a single test since he was vaccinated last year."
"Ah-ha! That's it!"
"So it was the vaccines then?"
"No, it's genetic."

Murphy's Law states that anything that can happen, will happen. But are you familiar with Cole's Law?

It's finely-shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.

Woman goes to a doctor with a tampon lodged inside her...

Doctor: So how did this happen?

Woman: I don't know, I mean I didn't get them from the store as usual, I saw a special deal on eBay, a hundred boxes for $1!

Doctor: A hundred boxes for $1? Didn't that sound suspiciously cheap to you?

Woman: Well I thought that too, so I checked the entire listing and it said plain and clear

One hundred boxes of tampons for $1...

...no strings attached!

Three Irishmen walk out of a bar.

Yep. It can happen.

What happened to the Frog when he wrecked his car?

He got TOAD!

A Mother found out her daughter is pregnant

A Mother found out her daughter is pregnant, she confronted her.





"How did this happen? I told you to take measures"





"I did took measures and went with the longest one."

Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking

An American flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board and reports it to the captain.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking! There is an extremely sexy female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, almost like she has no idea what is going to happen next. The man she is with is a fat old slob and old enough to be her father. He's very sleazy, very sullen and although he speaks English, it is impossible to make out what he's trying to say."

The captain sighed and replied, "look Susan, we've been through this many times before, this is Air Force One..."

I've just started reading a book in braille.

Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.

My wife called me and said If you're not home from the bar in 10 minutes, I'm giving the dinner I cooked for you to the dog.

I was home in 3 minutes, I'd hate for anything to happen to the poor dog.

You're walking along the Oregon trail

You're walking along the Oregon trail when you happen upon a young man. You ask him his name to which he replies Terry. You then proceed to tell him Terry? Isn't that a girls name? Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin Terry

So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working."

Then I opened the fridge and it was still working. Phew, I thought something bad is going to happen today.

My wife asked me if I'd ever pissed in the shower. I said 'Yes but both times were an accident.

My Wife responded 'What!? How can you piss in the shower by accident? Twice!?'

And I said 'Well these things happen when you're taking a shit'.

I found out today that I was actually born on a freeway

My mom says that's where most accidents happen

After what happened at the U.S. Captiol

I am no longer impressed that Nicholas Cage managed to steal the Declaration of Independence.

What happened when the mad scientist fused two animals together on his safari?

*shrugs* "Elephrhino!"










My girlfriend slapped me when she got this joke, so I figured it was good enough for reddit

What happened to Napoleon when he got hit by a cannonball?

He became Napoleon BLOWNapart.

Credits: YT/recycledcitizen

My son is doing a social experiment for school.

He plans on wearing an "I love Liberals" shirt out in public and will be recording the interactions with others. So far he has been cussed at, spit at, slapped, and even threatened. Im afraid what will happen when he actually leaves the house.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened

Unless it didn't happen then keep on crying

A summary of the world's religions

Catholicism: Shit happens.
Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Confucianism: Confucius says "Shit happens"
Rastafarianism: Let's roll up this shit and smoke it.

Please add your own.

what do would happen if pigs could fly?

idk but the price of bacon would Skyrocket

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the happen laddie jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working happen arise piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes