Hanukkah Jokes
26 hanukkah jokes and hilarious hanukkah puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about hanukkah that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the funny side of Hanukkah by sharing original and beloved Hanukkah jokes. Whether you're comparing the holiday to Christmas, poking fun at bad Hanukkah presents, or joking about Hasidic traditions, get ready to laugh out loud and explore the bluish side of the Festival of Lights.
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Funniest Hanukkah Short Jokes
Short hanukkah jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hanukkah humour may include short thanksgiving jokes also.
- I asked my dad if I could borrow 50 dollars to buy stuff for Hanukkah... He said "40 dollars? What do you need $30 dollars for?"
- Imagine if your cell phone battery was on ten percent and it lasted for eight days.. Congratulations. You understand Hanukkah.
- What's the difference between Hanukkahs and dragons? Hanukkahs last eight nights, and dragons last ate knights.
- What do you call someone who celebrates Christmas sometimes and Hanukkah sometimes? Jew-ish
- Last chrrrriii... Ah, aha
Ooh, ohh
Ooh
Last hanukkah i gave you my torah
And the very next day u sold it away
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Hanukkah One Liners
Which hanukkah one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hanukkah? I can suggest the ones about merry and orthodox.
- Who do penguins celebrate Hanukkah with? The Icebergs
- A guy wore a Hanukkah shirt to a Christmas party... He was in the Menorah Tee.
- My wife demanded I wash her Hanukkah top. But it's not my Jew tee.
- Why are there only 8 days of Hanukkah? Because 7 ate 9
- Last year I crashed my friend's Hanukkah party.. He's been gelt-tripping me ever since.
- I got a book for Hanukkah today It was the diary of Anne Frank
- As of now, I only know of three Jewish holidays: Hanukkah
The Bar Mitzvah
The Oscars - What do you call it when you commit s**... on Hanukkah A Jewicide
- When people get Christmas day off but not the week of Hanukkah s**... to be Jew
Laughter Hanukkah Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about hanukkah you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean celebrate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hanukkah pranks.
UNAPPRECIATED HANUKKAH GIFT
A Jewish guy's mother gives him two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time he visits her, he makes sure to wear one.
As he walks into the house, his mother frowns and asks, "What -- you didn't like the other one?"
An old Jewish couple, Harry and Sadie, were married for 35 years but never got along...
...One day around this time of year, he says to her, "So? I suppose you'll be wanting a Hanukkah present?"
She says to him, "Harry, I want a divorce."
Harry says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cultural Diversity--True Story
When I was six I learned about Hanukkah in school. My teacher told me, "Christians celebrate Christmas, and Jews celebrate Hanukkah."
That night I was waiting in line at Hometown Buffet with my family and asked Mom why the restaurant would be closed for Christmas.
"It's so that the people who work here can spend Christmas with their families." She said.
In a loud, excited voice I piped up, "BUT COULDN'T THEY GET SOME JEWS TO WORK HERE?"
We never went back.
8 Days' Worth
Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. What denomination? asks the postal clerk.
Mary thinks a second before
replying, Give me six Orthodox,
12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If the majority of people in the US celebrate Christmas
Then the amount of people that celebrate Hanukkah are in the menorahty
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People have gone too far, we call a Christmas Tree a Holiday Tree
So why don't we call a Hanukkah Bush and Holiday Bush
