Hanukkah Jokes
28 hanukkah jokes and hilarious hanukkah puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about hanukkah that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the funny side of Hanukkah by sharing original and beloved Hanukkah jokes. Whether you're comparing the holiday to Christmas, poking fun at bad Hanukkah presents, or joking about Hasidic traditions, get ready to laugh out loud and explore the bluish side of the Festival of Lights.
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Funniest Hanukkah Short Jokes
Short hanukkah jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hanukkah humour may include short thanksgiving jokes also.
- I asked my dad if I could borrow 50 dollars to buy stuff for Hanukkah... He said "40 dollars? What do you need $30 dollars for?"
- Imagine if your cell phone battery was on ten percent and it lasted for eight days.. Congratulations. You understand Hanukkah.
- What's the difference between Hanukkahs and dragons? Hanukkahs last eight nights, and dragons last ate knights.
- What do you call someone who celebrates Christmas sometimes and Hanukkah sometimes? Jew-ish
- What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons? One is eight nights while the other ate knights
- If the majority of people in the US celebrate Christmas Then the amount of people that celebrate Hanukkah are in the menorahty
- Last chrrrriii... Ah, aha
Ooh, ohh
Ooh
Last hanukkah i gave you my torah
And the very next day u sold it away - People have gone too far, we call a Christmas Tree a Holiday Tree So why don't we call a Hanukkah Bush and Holiday Bush
- Hanukkah is a truly Jewish holiday. What other group of people would celebrate saving on oil?
- How many Jewish Grandmas does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they'd rather sit in the dark and be depressed.
Happy Hanukkah everyone.
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Hanukkah One Liners
Which hanukkah one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hanukkah? I can suggest the ones about merry and orthodox.
- With Hanukkah upon us, how does a Jewish man prepare his tea? Hebrews it.
- Who do penguins celebrate Hanukkah with? The Icebergs
- A guy wore a Hanukkah shirt to a Christmas party... He was in the Menorah Tee.
- My wife demanded I wash her Hanukkah top. But it's not my Jew tee.
- Why are there only 8 days of Hanukkah? Because 7 ate 9
- Last year I crashed my friend's Hanukkah party.. He's been gelt-tripping me ever since.
- I got a book for Hanukkah today It was the diary of Anne Frank
- Why is Hanukkah in December? Jew-ly is too hot.
- As of now, I only know of three Jewish holidays: Hanukkah
The Bar Mitzvah
The Oscars - What do you call it when you commit s**... on Hanukkah A Jewicide
- When people get Christmas day off but not the week of Hanukkah s**... to be Jew
Laughter Hanukkah Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about hanukkah you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean celebrate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hanukkah pranks.
UNAPPRECIATED HANUKKAH GIFT
A Jewish guy's mother gives him two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time he visits her, he makes sure to wear one.
As he walks into the house, his mother frowns and asks, "What -- you didn't like the other one?"
An old Jewish couple, Harry and Sadie, were married for 35 years but never got along...
...One day around this time of year, he says to her, "So? I suppose you'll be wanting a Hanukkah present?"
She says to him, "Harry, I want a divorce."
Harry says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
Cultural Diversity--True Story
When I was six I learned about Hanukkah in school. My teacher told me, "Christians celebrate Christmas, and Jews celebrate Hanukkah."
That night I was waiting in line at Hometown Buffet with my family and asked Mom why the restaurant would be closed for Christmas.
"It's so that the people who work here can spend Christmas with their families." She said.
In a loud, excited voice I piped up, "BUT COULDN'T THEY GET SOME JEWS TO WORK HERE?"
We never went back.
8 Days' Worth
Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. What denomination? asks the postal clerk.
Mary thinks a second before
replying, Give me six Orthodox,
12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.
Hanukkah joke
My mother once gave me two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one.
As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, 'Aaron, what's the matter? You didn't like the other one?'
