Hank Jokes
36 hank jokes and hilarious hank puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hank that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for a laugh! We have gathered some of the best Hank jokes from "Breaking Bad", "Hank Hill", and other characters! Enjoy one-liners from Hic, Doug and Earl, and many others. Enjoy these classic Hill Country jokes and share them with a friend!
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Funniest Hank Short Jokes
Short hank jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hank humour may include short yank jokes also.
- I met Tom Hanks once. He was so rude I asked for his autograph and all he wrote was thanks.
- Tom Hanks is the rudest celebrity I have ever met I asked for an autograph and all he wrote was Thanks.
- Sometimes people are surprised to find out I've been named after my dad.... ....but how could I have been named before him?
Source : Hank Green, the ultimate Dad - I heard Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are working on a new film made specifically for the blind. It's called "You've Got Braille"
- Yesterday I found myself next to a Hollywood celebrity at a grocery store. Both of us were staring at the cream cheese section. I was …..watching Philadelphia with Tom Hanks.
- How are teenaged boys like the enzyme helicase? They both want to unzip your genes!
credit goes to Hank from CrashCourse on Youtube :) - In "Captain Sully", technically speaking, Tom Hanks did not fly a plane on to the Hudson River That was falling with style
- Tom Hanks was recently quoted talking about how much he disliked one of Stephen King's novels. T. Hanks: I hate It.
- How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad? None, they were all minerals.
- I don't understand how people don't like country music? I mean have they ever heard of the greats? Like... Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams Jr, or Texas in July???
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Hank One Liners
Which hank one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hank? I can suggest the ones about honk and dank.
- I saw Tom Hanks today so I asked him for his autograph. He just wrote Thanks.
- What did Tom hanks do in the woods? He took a forrest dump.
- Tom Hanks is so nice… …every time he signs an autograph he writes T.HANKS
- Who's the most canadian actor? T. Hanks
- What do you get when you cross Hank Hill with Bob Ross? A Pro-painter.
- Whats Tom Hanks Without Resistance? Tanks
- I think you need to go outside to take a breather. Hank, we're astronauts.
- Authorities discover that Tom Hanks has killed thousands of people with kindness
- Hank Hill should become a wrestler. He's all about pro-pain.
- Guys I just found Tom Hanks' social media password It's 1Forrest1
- Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers, and Tom Hanks walk into a bar...
- How would you describe Hank Hill if he was actually a window salesman? Pro-Pane.
- Why did Hank Hill like UFC? Because he was pro pain
- What do Tim Allen and Tom Hanks have in common? They're Owen Wilson
- IAmA I'm John Hanke, CEO of Niantic (Pokemon Go), ask me anything! That's the joke.
Hank Hill Jokes
Here is a list of funny hank hill jokes and even better hank hill puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What mental illness does Hank Hill have? Propanic Depression
Hilarious Hank Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about hank you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hulk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hank pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hank Hill got a job working in a b**... store.
He sells pro-pain and pro-pain accessories.
In Tribute
Boy: I'll bet you a dollar my dog can talk
Man: you're on
Boy: how does sandpaper feel?
Dog: Ruff!
Boy: what's on top of a house?
Dog: Roof!
Boy: who's the greatest ballplayer ever?
Dog: Ruth!
Man: come on! I ain't payin' for that, get out of here!
* Boy and dog walk away *
Dog to boy: should I have said Hank Aaron?
A husband is admitted to the hospital...
He has fallen very ill and his future is unsure. He says to his wife, "honey, if I die, I think you should marry Hank from down the street."
"Hank?" the wife questions, "I thought you hated him?"
With his last breath the husband replies "I do"
On a bitter cold day, Hank visited Lou
"I had a rough time getting here", said Hank, "for every step forward forward I slid back two!"
"But if you slid back two steps for every step you took forward, how'd you get here?", asked Lou.
"I almost didn't, but then I said to myself 'forget it', and turned around and started back home"
Bob didn't believe that Fred's dog could talk
So Fred asked his dog, What's on top of a house?
Roof, the dog barked.
Bob wasn't convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels.
Rough.
He still wasn't convinced.
O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time? Fred asked the dog.
Ruth.
With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: Was it Hank Aaron?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm like Hank Hill when I'm in an argument.
Stern, no nonsense, and my u**... narrows.
A magic show...
Two friends, Bob and Hank, are watching a magician perform. Mildly amused by the standard tricks and illusions they have seen so far, their attention perks up when they see the beautiful assistant come out from behind the curtain for the saw the lady in half trick. As she is climbing into the box, Bob leans over and whispers, That's some hot broad. I'd ask her out, wouldn't you?
Nah, Hank says, I'd probably get the half that eats.
I was listening to Hank Williams earlier and thought about what a sad song "Tear in my Beer" was.
A grown man doesn't cry very often, especially in his beer. I mean, I did once.. in a Blue Moon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A funny true encounter
I was spending some time alone in an isolated cabin in the Ozarks. Not a neighbor for hundreds of meters. One day at around 9 p.m. I get a knock on the door, so I go to answer it. I see a large, p**... bellied man with a huge bushy beard.
"The name's Hank. I live just a mile down the road. I see you're new around here. I'm throwing a party tonight and I thought you might like to come."
"Sure, sounds great!" I said.
"There's gonna be drinking!"
"I can drink with the best of them!"
"There's gonna be fighting!"
"Sounds like fun!"
"There's gonna be some wild s**...!"
"Sweet! What should I wear?"
"It don't matter. Just gonna be the two of us."
The foreign tourist
Hank and Frank are walking down the street. A flustered-looking guy comes up to them and asks,
"Parlez-vous français?" (Do you speak French?)
They stare at him. He tries again,
"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" (Do you speak German?)
They shrug.
"Hablas español?" (Do you speak Spanish?)
Nope.
"Parli italiano?" (Do you speak Italian?)
They shrug again, the man gives up and leaves.
Hank says, "maybe we should learn a foreign language."
Frank notes, "that guy knew 4 and look what good it did him."
