Hangover Jokes
44 hangover jokes and hilarious hangover puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about hangover that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughs to keep you going through a hangover? Check out these hilarious hangover jokes inspired by the movie "Hangover"! From sleepless nights to having that extra cocktail, get ready to feel the hilarity in these funny stories about hangover life!
Funniest Hangover Short Jokes
Short hangover jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hangover humour may include short hungover jokes also.
- The best thing for a hangover is to drink excessively the night before. Not sure why you'd want one, though.
- While watching Hangover 2 the other day, I say to my friend, "I wonder where they're going in the third one?" "Straight to DVD."
- I've started a new religion based on the consumption of high-percentage alcohol. Its only downside is that I now miss a lot of work due to hangovers It's called absinthe-theism.
- I had such a massive hangover this morning, I just stood in the shower for nearly an hour... Then I summoned the strength to turn it on.
- What happened when Gorbachev had a hangover and became sick? He was thoroughly hammered and sickled
- I woke up with a horrible hangover today... I could have sworn she was beautiful last night.
- I hate it when comedy actors try and do serious roles. Like that tiger from The Hangover doing Life of Pi.
- An Anarchist hangover I'd say being hungover is confusing for Anarchists, they're in an absolute state, but can't accept it's legitimacy
- Already accomplished my New Year's resolution. Of surviving the New Year's Day's hangover.
- You ever wake up with a hangover feeling proud that you didn't send embarrassing drunk texts the night before? What's it like?
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Hangover One Liners
Which hangover one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hangover? I can suggest the ones about hang over and sobriety.
- What's the best thing for a hangover? Drinking heavily the night before.
- Q: What do you call it when a bunch of suicidal people all sleep together? A: A Hangover
- What do you call a bird that has a hangover? A party fowl.
- I'm a recovering alcoholic... Recovering from a hangover.
- I like my women like I like my hangovers Easy and gone in the morning
- Want to avoid hangovers? Keep drinking forever. your liver and wallet will adjust.
- Where did Don Draper go after an excruciating hangover Adville
- How does Stephen Hawking recover from a hangover? He presses F5
- What comes with a St.Patrick's day hangover? The shamrock shakes
- Why is beer the best cure for a hangover? Because it's good for what ales you.
- Why don't midgets get hangovers? Because they're just a little drunk.
- What's the best thing for a hangover Aaron Hernandez
- What do you cal a wine hangover? The grape depression.
- All the problems fade before a hangover
- What is the best way to get rid of a hangover? Kill yourself.
Hangover Movie Jokes
Here is a list of funny hangover movie jokes and even better hangover movie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Do alcoholics get hangovers? Actual question from the movie, "Superbad".
- Think about it from the other side. Think about the hangover movies from chow's perspective...
Hilarious Hangover Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about hangover you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drinker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hangover pranks.
A guy calls into work....
says he can't come in, he has a terrible hangover.
the boss says "well, when that happens to me, i ask my wife for s**..., and that usually fixes me right up."
the guy says he'll try that.
later, he comes into work, ready to go. the boss sees him and says
"so, that worked, didn't it?"
the guy says "yes, it did, and you have a really nice house."
Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye.
The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: Dear, breakfast is made. I've gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!
He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there's breakfast. Joe, he says to his son, what happened last night?
You came home s**... and got that black eye tripping over a chair.
So, why the rose, breakfast, and sweet note from your mother?
Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to t**... clothes, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!'
The first mate on a ship rarely drinks
The first mate on a ship rarely drinks, but the crew threw him a party on his birthday and went out of their way to get him drunk. The next morning he woke up with a hangover, and went to the bridge. He opened the ship's log and found that the captain had written, "The first mate got drunk last night". He complained to the captain saying that it was very rare. The captain defended his entry saying that it was the truth, wasn't it? The next day the captain opened the ship's log, and the first mate had written, "The captain was able to stay sober last night."
How do the Irish cure a hangover?
With a f**....
I hate it when my neighbor mows the lawn at 7 in the morning
This one Saturday morning I get woken up by my neighbor's mower going at 7 in the morning. I have quite a bad hangover and I just decide screw him he can cut around me. .
Woke up at 6 o' clock this morning ...
...with a b**... hangover listening to my neighbour mowing his lawn , was going to get up and throttle the sod , but then thought "To Heck with it , he can mow around me."
Offering from the noticeboard of the Linga Longa pub, Gundy, new South Wales
Prayer for Beer:
Our Lager
Which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk
At home as it is in the pub
Give us this day out foamy head
And forgive us our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer
The bitter, the lager
Barmen.
What's the most underrated joke you've heard in a movie?
Mine is from The Hangover:
Alan: I can't afford to lose somebody close to me again, it hurts too much. I was so upset when my grandpa died.
Phil: How'd he die?
Alan: World War II.
Phil: Died in battle?
Alan: No, he was skiing in Vermont, it was just during World War II.
Whenever I wake with a terrible hangover, I proudly invoke the inspirational last words of the philosopher Socrates who died saying:
"What the h**... did I drink?"
I enjoy expensive whiskey the same way I enjoy beautiful women
By watching someone else and living vicariously through their experience in my imagination, even though I know I'll never have either and am likely to die alone and well hydrated, instead of in bed with a gorgeous woman and a hangover.
Just Kidding. The real answer is "With my face hole"
I was laying in bed with a hangover
It's awful when your c**...'s so big it won't stay in the bed.
-lee Mack
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies...
who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud says, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane h**... and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing..."
"What's that?"
"Have you f**... yet?" "No....."
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!"
What do you call an overnight s**... pact?
A hangover.
