Hanging Picture Jokes
22 hanging picture jokes and hilarious hanging picture puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hanging picture that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Hanging Picture Short Jokes
Short hanging picture jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hanging picture humour may include short hanging from ceiling jokes also.
- What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need one nail to hang the picture up.
- After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room. But she still won't admit she framed me.
- Why do pictures rotated counter clockwise hate giving high fives Because they're always *left hanging*
- My buddy took some amazing pictures of himself with a cigar, hanging out in a funhouse. When I asked him how he did it, he said "It's all Smoke and Mirrors".
- What's better Jesus or a picture of Jesus A picture because it only takes one nail to hang a picture.
- Why is Jesus happy people hang pictures of him? It only takes one nail to put him on a wall.
- I've been trying to hang a picture of Donald Trump in my house But no matter what I do it's always crooked.
- So I'm kind of a photographer Whenever I hang out with a kid, their picture ends up on a milk carton
- What do Gen. Flynn and a picture of Che' have in common? Democrats want to frame and hang both.
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Hanging Picture One Liners
Which hanging picture one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hanging picture? I can suggest the ones about picture frame and coat hanger.
- How does a cop hang a picture? "...UP AGAINST THE WALL!"
- Name 3 things that don't hang themselves Pictures, Drywall and Jeffrey Epstein
Hanging Picture Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about hanging picture you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hanging on a branch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hanging picture pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Karen's does it take to hang a picture.
1, if she talks for long enough the picture will hang itself.
A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.
First up was Mary. "My daddy served in Afghanistan. He was a paratrooper."
"A paratrooper?" Asked the teacher, who was awed.
"Yes, please look closer -- you can see his jump badge."
Second was Joe. "My granny served in Vietnam. She was a doctor."
"A doctor?" Asked the teacher, who was moved.
"Yeah, see? That's a stethoscope hanging around her neck."
Third was little Johnny, "This is my great grandpa. He was an electrician."
"An electrician?" Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.
"Yeah, here. You can see the two lightning bolts on his helmet"
Getting spiritual at the bar
A guy walks into a bar and notices a framed picture of a cat hanging behind the bar. "What happened to the picture of Buddha you used to have hanging back there?" he asks the bartender. The bartender replies, "That was Zen, this is Meow."
Hanging in the hallway at a high school are...
...the basketball team pictures from the past decades. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "92-93," "93-94," "94-95," etc.
One day the principal spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos.
Turning to the principal, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
Little Johnny comes downstairs crying.
His mother asked, "What’s the matter now?"
"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer," said little Johnny through his tears.
"That’s not so serious," soothed his mother.
"I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?"
"I did!" sobbed Johnny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was Jesus Christ a lousy hockey player?
He was always getting nailed to the boards.
Why couldn't Jesus eat M&M's?
His hands are full of holes!
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jeus?
It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
cousin: *hanging pictures in the other room* "Come in here and give me your opinion about something"
Me: \*walks into room\* "Donald Trump is a d**..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three guys were at the gates of Heaven.
God says to each of them, "If you tell me how you died, I'll let you into Heaven."
The First guy looks at God and says, "I live in an eight story apartment building and my apartment in on the seventh floor on the west side of the building. I had left work early because I had an assumption that my wife was cheating on me.
"So I had made it home and saw my wife in bed, clothed in only a bath robe, and she was sweating. I searched around for the guy she was cheating on me with, but I couldn't find him.
"So I go outside on my balcony and I see a pair of hands hanging from the balcony. I just knew that was him! I tried stepping on his hands but his grip was too strong; so I go inside, which is the kitchen, and tip my refrigerator over and push it off the edge. Unfortunately, my leg was caught by the cord and I fall to my death."
God allows the man into Heaven.
The Second man, furious, says, "I live in an eight story apartment on the top floor. I am a business man. I was outside sorting paper work when a gust of wind blows my papers in the air. As I reach for them, the fence to my balcony breaks and I was hanging on for dear life a floor below when this idiot steps on my hands and throws a refrigerator at me!"
God allows him into Heaven.
The Third guy looks at God and says, "Picture this... You're in a refrigerator... n**....."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 Men Die and go to Heaven... (Joke dedicated to phoncible)
St. Peter at the gate says that there is only one spot left, and he'll give it to the guy that died in the worst way between the three of them.
So the first guy says, "I came home from work, suspecting my wife of cheating on me. I find no man around, but my wife is disrobed and laying in the bed. Finally, after searching for awhile, I find a man hanging off our balcony. So I hammer him fingers until he falls to his death. Unfortunately, he lands in some bushes and, save for a few cuts and bruises, he's alright. So, as mad as I am, I throw our fridge out over the balcony on top of him. I felt so bad, that I shot myself."
St. Peter says, "My, that's a terrible story. I don't know if these 2 can top that."
So the second guy begins. "Well, I'm doing yoga on my balcony in just my sweatpants. I live on the 23rd floor of my apartment building. Well, due to an odd series of yoga stretches, I fall. Luckily, I caught the floor below me. And here comes someone to help me up! But then he starts hammering my fingers! So I fall, thinking this is it. But I land in some bushes and I'm OK! And that's when I see a refrigerator..."
St. Peter is stunned, thinking no one can top this story. So the third guy looks at the others and says,
"Picture this. You're n**... in a refrigerator."