The Best 8 Hanging On A Branch Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Hanging On A Branch jokes. There are some hanging on a branch jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hanging on a branch puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Hanging On A Branch Jokes and Puns

Two soldiers are lost in the desert, thirsty and starving.

Ahead they see a tree with strips of meat hanging from its branches.

"A bacon tree!" the first exclaims and he runs towards it only to be cut down by a sniper's bullet.

"That's no bacon tree," says the other. " That's a ham-bush!"

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister...

Are skinny dipping in the forest one day. Joking and talking philosophy and such. Suddenly they hear a large group of locals walking down the path toward them. To their dismay, they realized that they left their clothes hanging on branches on the other side of the path and would have to run past everyone to get them.
The minister gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the oncoming people to get his clothes.
The priest, in turn, gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the people to his clothes.
Finally the rabbi gets out of the water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes.
As they dress the priest turns to the rabbi and asks,
"Why did you cover your face and not your genitals?"
"Well I don't know about you guys, but in my congregation they know me by my face."

Elton John

On vacation, Elton John finds himself meandering in a Mediterranean orchard. Spying a tree, Elton decides to relive some boyhood memories and climb a tree, albeit only the first branch.

As Elton sits, his well-heeled (and sparkly) feet dangling, a local boy walks by. Waving, Elton call out, "Would you like anything?"

"Fig!" The boy yells back.

Offended, Elton crosses his arms. "What did you call me?"

"No," the boy replies, pointing, "THAT low hanging fruit!"

A bunch of bats are hanging on a tree branch...

BAT A: Hey look at Harry he's hanging the other way up!! (like a bird)

BAT B: He's been having these fainting spells all week.

Two bats are hanging on the branch...

-What was your worst day?

-When I had diarrhea.


2 bats hanging on a branch

Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.

One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"

The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"

There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one.



Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one?

I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.

The other day I met a man with a wooden leg named Smith

He beat the hell out of me with it. I have two wooden legs, he broke both of them.

I've learned to be more careful about hanging around people who only branch out in one direction.

I'd extend him an olive branch, but mine are both broken now.

I'm rooted in one place now.

It's very treepressing. :(

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hanging on a branch jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hanging on a branch piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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