Hanging From Ceiling Jokes
45 hanging from ceiling jokes and hilarious hanging from ceiling puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about hanging from ceiling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hanging From Ceiling Short Jokes
Short hanging from ceiling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hanging from ceiling humour may include short hanging jokes also.
- If I don't get a girlfriend by Christmas. The mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
- Gonna study hard , get a decent job , give my best at work so that I can buy a house with a strong ceiling fan I can hang myself on.
- I once tried to kill myself by hanging from the ceiling with a noose around my neck. I was unsure if it would work. The suspense was killing me.
- Did you hear about the Irishman hanging from the ceiling lighting a room? His name was Seán D'olier.
- I'm afraid my ceiling fan is going to fall down on me. Yeah, it's really been hanging over my head lately.
- A musical canon piece is currently being hung from the art gallery ceiling for all to see. We tried asking a worker for directions, but he was too busy hanging a round.
- What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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Hanging From Ceiling One Liners
Which hanging from ceiling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hanging from ceiling? I can suggest the ones about hanging picture and ceiling.
- I broke it I broke the ceiling fan in my room. It's been hanging over my head all day.
- I like my women like I like my light bulbs Dim and hanging from the ceiling
- How's it hanging? Hopefully not from the ceiling
- What makes you laugh and hangs from the ceiling? Robin Williams
Cheerful Hanging From Ceiling Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about hanging from ceiling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hanging on a branch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hanging from ceiling pranks.
A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling...
Confused, he asks the bartender "why do you have meat hanging from your ceiling?" The bartender says "I'm glad you asked, currently we have a challenge going on where if you can jump up and slap both pieces of meat with your hands I'll cover your tab for the whole rest of the night. However, if you attempt to slap the meat and miss, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks in the bar until we close". The bartender looks back at the customer and asks "So what do you say, would you like to give the challenge a shot?" The customer quickly responds with a "No". "Why not?" The bartender asks. The customer replies, "The stakes are too high".
A good ole 90's joke.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the pearly gates he notices clocks with names hanging all over the place. The man asks god "What are all the clocks for?" God responded "Every time the clock makes a full rotation, someone on earth commits a sin." The man looked around at all the clocks and out of curiosity asked god "Where's Bill Clinton's clock?" God just pointed up to the ceiling fan.
A man walks into a butchers...
The man says to the butcher "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher replies "Yes, you could say that." The man says "Okay then, I bet you $100 you can't reach that meat you've got hanging from the ceiling up there." The Butcher looks up and says "No sorry" The man says "I thought you said you were a gambling man, why not?" The butcher answers. "The steaks are too high."
A man goes to a store to buy groceries.
When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."
I was watching TV last night...
When an advertisement came on showing one of those African babies covered in flies.I immediately ran for the phone and rang the number that came up on the screen.
"I want one of those", I said,"they work much better than those sticky strips I hang from my ceiling".
How to get a day off at work
Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off.
Man: And how would you do that?
Woman: Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
Boss comes in: What are you doing?
Woman: I'm a light bulb.
Boss: You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.
The man starts to follow her and the boss says:
Where are you going?
The man says: I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.
A man walks into a bar
He notices some pieces of meat hanging down from the ceiling. He goes up to the bartender and asks "What's with the meat on the ceiling?"
Bartender:"It's a challenge. If you can jump up and touch one, you get free beer for a night."
Man:"Nah, pass".
Bartender: "What? Why not?"
Man:"The steaks are too high"
Two vampire bats are hanging from the ceiling of their cave...
... and one of them says he's hungry, so he flies off to find some food. Within a minute, he's back, blood all round his mouth, looking like he's had a really good meal.
The other bat is amazed, and says, "Where did you find so much blood so fast?"
So the first bat says, "Come with me, I'll show you." And he leads his friend to the mouth of the cave.
"See that big rock there?" He asks.
The other bat nods.
"I didn't."
A doctor checks on two roommates in an insane asylum...
He walks into their room to find one man hanging upside down from the ceiling fan by his feet. The other man sits below him, putting together wooden blocks.
The doctor asks, "How are you two doing?"
The man on the floor says, "Oh, I'm building a castle. Don't mind that guy up there, he's okay but a little crazy, thinks he's a lightbulb."
"Well, let's get him down before he hurts himself."
The sitting man stares back in shock. "And work in the *dark*?!"
A man walks into a bar
and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender what the deal was about:
"Anyone who can jump up and slap the meat earns free drinks for the rest of the night", the bartender answered. "But, if you miss you pay everyone else's drinks for the next hour. Would you like to try?"
The man thought about it for a moment, and then answers:
"Nah, the stakes are too high."
Dude walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling...
...He asked the bartender, "What are those for?" Bartender answers, "If you can slap a piece of meat, you get free drinks for an hour. If you can't, everyone's drinks are on you. Do you want to try it?"
He replies, "Nah, the steaks are too high."
Two factory workers are talking.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
A man from out of town walks into a bar...
he sees large pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender why the meat is hanging down from the ceiling. The bartender says "Around these parts we have a challenge. If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get it for free. If you can't you have to pay the price of the meat but you don't get it. How about taking the bet?" The man looks up at the meat. "Nah" He says. "The steaks are too high.
A man walks into a bar
He sees a few pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling and so he asks the bartender about them. The bartender says "If you can jump and touch them, you get free drinks for the rest of the month, but if you miss, you cover everyone for the rest of the hour." The man thinks for a second and says "No. The stakes are too high"
A man walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling
The guy asks, "What's this about?" The bartender replies, "Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drink for the next hour. You wanna do it?" The guy replies, "Nah the steaks are too high".
A man walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar and sees meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender "why is there meat hanging from the ceiling". The bartender responds "If you jump and touch the meat, you get a free drink. If you jump and miss, you have to buy drinks for everyone".
The bartender asks "Are you going to do it?"
The man responds "No. The steaks are too high"
A man walks into a bar with his buddies and sees three steaks hanging from the ceiling.
He asks the bartender "Why are there three steaks hanging from the ceiling?"
The bartender replies "It's a contest sort of thing, actually. If you can jump and slap one of the steaks, you and your buddies get free drinks for the night. If not, you have to pay for everyone in the bar's drinks for the next hour. Wanna give it a try?"
The man thinks for a few minutes and makes his decision.
"Bartender, as much as my buddies and I would like free drinks, the stakes are just too high."
I was watching tv last night...
and one of those ads came on with one of those little black African babies covered in flies. I immediately grabbed the phone and called the number on the screen. I had to have one, they work so much better than those sticky strips that hang from the ceiling.
A guy walks into a bar
He sees some meat hanging off the ceiling. Curious he asks the bartender,
"What's with all the hanging meat?"
Bartender replies, "It's a challenge for the patrons. If you can touch the meat, you win $1000. If you can't, I pluck one of your eyeballs out."
The man looks at the floor, then looks up to the ceiling. He then says,
"I won't do it...the steaks are too high."
A man walks into a steakhouse
A man walks into a steakhouse and sees a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling.
"What's with the meat?" he asks the hostess.
She says, "It's a contest we are running. If you can jump up and grab a piece, your entire meal is free."
"And what if I miss?"
"Then you need to buy everyone in the restaurant a drink. Do you want to try?"
He looks up again.
"No, the steaks are too high."
A guy walks in to a bar
He sees a piece of meat hanging from the ceiling so he goes up to the bartender and asks what it is
He says, so if you can jump and hit the meat, you get free drinks for the night. But if you miss, you have to buy drinks for the whole bar.
He thinks for a second and says, "nah the steaks are too high"
A guy walks into a bar.
He sees a tip jar labelled 'steaks'. He asked the bartender what the tip jar was for. Thanks bartender pointed to a couple pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He said, "If you jump and slap both pieces of meat before your feet hit the floor, you win however much money is in the jar. If you don't, then you have to put in $100. Are you willing to take the bet?"
The guy said, "No. The steaks are too high."
A man walks into a bar..
A man walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling, about 12 feet high. He asks the bartender, Why are there these steaks hanging from the ceiling? . The bartender then replies, We have this challenge where of you can jump and hit one of the meats, you drink for free tonight, but if you miss, you have to buy drinks for everyone else in the bar. Wanna give it a try?
The man then replies, Nah, the steaks are too high
A man walks into a bar and sees a steak hanging from the ceiling.
He asks the bartender, "Why is there a piece of steak hanging from the ceiling?
The bartender replies, "If somebody jumps and manages to hit the steak, all drinks will be free for the entire night. However, if somebody tries and misses, they will have to buy drinks for everybody else for the entire night. Would you like to try?"
The man thinks about it and replies, "No thanks, the stakes are too high."
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling.
When he asked the bartender about it, the bartender said, If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are ok the house for the night. But if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next 2 hours. Do you want to try?
The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling.
The guy asks "what's this about?". the bartender replies, "well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You want to have a go?" The guy replies, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."
A man walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling.
He sits down and orders a beer, and asks the bartender
"what's the deal with the steaks?"
"It's a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar. If you try and fail, though, you pay for everyone's drinks for the rest of the night"
The man sits and thinks it over, and a couple minutes later the bartender asks if he wants to have a go.
"Nah, the steaks are too high"
A child point his finger at a toy plane attached to the ceiling
And he says to his mum mum I really want to be like that airplane when I grow up!
His mother: why? Because it flies really high?
Him: no, because it's hanging from the ceiling
A man walks into a bar.
He notices a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. He goes to the bartender and asks what's with the meat on the ceiling?
The bartender says If you can jump up in the air and touch the meat, then the rest of the night your drinks are free. But if you jump up and miss, then you have to pay for everyone's drinks in the whole bar for the next hour. What do you say? Do you want to take the chance?
The man says No, the steaks are too high!
A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave.....
discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?"
And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"
A man walks into a bar. As he sits down
he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling.
He asks the bartender, What's with the meat?
The bartender says, If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you pay for everyone else's drinks for the rest of the night. Wanna give it a go?
The man takes another look at the meat and says, I think I'll pass. The steaks are too high.
A man walks into a bar...
As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender what's with the meat?
The bartender says, If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks for the rest of the night. Wanna give it a go?
The man takes another look at the meat, then says, I think I'll pass. The steaks are too high.
A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.
Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
———
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.
A man walks into a bar and sees a bunch of steaks hanging from the ceiling, he asks the bartender "what's going on?"
The bartender says: "If you can jump up, grab a piece of meat and pull it down it's yours, if not, you have to buy everyone a drink"
The man replies: "No thanks, the steaks are too high"
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into his favorite neighborhood bar and is shocked to see that all the dart boards are now hanging from the ceiling. "This is ridiculous!" he complains to the bartender. "It really makes me want to throw up."
A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar full of £20 notes and a large piece of meat hanging from the ceiling
He confronts the bartender about it, and he explains.
'You put your £20 note in the jar, and then you get 3 jumps where you can try and grab that beef on the ceiling. If you get it, you can keep it and all the money in the jar.'
The man thought about for the moment, shook his head regretfully, and said,
'Nah, the steaks are too high.'
