Hanging From Ceiling Jokes
37 hanging from ceiling jokes and hilarious hanging from ceiling puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about hanging from ceiling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Hanging From Ceiling Short Jokes
Short hanging from ceiling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hanging from ceiling humour may include short hanging picture jokes also.
- If I don't get a girlfriend by Christmas. The mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
- Did you hear about the Irishman hanging from the ceiling lighting a room? His name was Seán D'olier.
- I'm afraid my ceiling fan is going to fall down on me. Yeah, it's really been hanging over my head lately.
- A musical canon piece is currently being hung from the art gallery ceiling for all to see. We tried asking a worker for directions, but he was too busy hanging a round.
Share These Hanging From Ceiling Jokes With Friends
Hanging From Ceiling One Liners
Which hanging from ceiling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hanging from ceiling? I can suggest the ones about ceiling and hanging on a branch.
- I broke it I broke the ceiling fan in my room. It's been hanging over my head all day.
- How's it hanging? Hopefully not from the ceiling
- What makes you laugh and hangs from the ceiling? Robin Williams
Cheerful Hanging From Ceiling Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about hanging from ceiling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ceiling fan jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hanging from ceiling pranks.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling...
Confused, he asks the bartender "why do you have meat hanging from your ceiling?" The bartender says "I'm glad you asked, currently we have a challenge going on where if you can jump up and slap both pieces of meat with your hands I'll cover your tab for the whole rest of the night. However, if you attempt to slap the meat and miss, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks in the bar until we close". The bartender looks back at the customer and asks "So what do you say, would you like to give the challenge a shot?" The customer quickly responds with a "No". "Why not?" The bartender asks. The customer replies, "The stakes are too high".
A good ole 90's joke.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the pearly gates he notices clocks with names hanging all over the place. The man asks god "What are all the clocks for?" God responded "Every time the clock makes a full rotation, someone on earth commits a sin." The man looked around at all the clocks and out of curiosity asked god "Where's Bill Clinton's clock?" God just pointed up to the ceiling fan.
A man walks into a butchers...
The man says to the butcher "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher replies "Yes, you could say that." The man says "Okay then, I bet you $100 you can't reach that meat you've got hanging from the ceiling up there." The Butcher looks up and says "No sorry" The man says "I thought you said you were a gambling man, why not?" The butcher answers. "The steaks are too high."
A man goes to a store to buy groceries.
When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."
I was watching TV last night...
When an advertisement came on showing one of those African babies covered in flies.I immediately ran for the phone and rang the number that came up on the screen.
"I want one of those", I said,"they work much better than those sticky strips I hang from my ceiling".
How to get a day off at work
Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off.
Man: And how would you do that?
Woman: Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
Boss comes in: What are you doing?
Woman: I'm a light bulb.
Boss: You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.
The man starts to follow her and the boss says:
Where are you going?
The man says: I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.
Two mental health patients in a room...
A doctor is passing by his patients' rooms when he notices one patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of cardboard with his hand. The doctor steps in and notices another patient hanging by his feet from the ceiling. He asks, "What are you two doing?"
The sitting patient says, "I'm sawing this wood in half. Up there? That's my friend, he's a bit crazy, thinks he's a lightbulb."
"Shouldn't you help him down before he hurts himself?"
The patient stares at him incredulously. "And work in the DARK?"
Two vampire bats are hanging from the ceiling of their cave...
... and one of them says he's hungry, so he flies off to find some food. Within a minute, he's back, blood all round his mouth, looking like he's had a really good meal.
The other bat is amazed, and says, "Where did you find so much blood so fast?"
So the first bat says, "Come with me, I'll show you." And he leads his friend to the mouth of the cave.
"See that big rock there?" He asks.
The other bat nods.
"I didn't."
A doctor checks on two roommates in an insane asylum...
He walks into their room to find one man hanging upside down from the ceiling fan by his feet. The other man sits below him, putting together wooden blocks.
The doctor asks, "How are you two doing?"
The man on the floor says, "Oh, I'm building a castle. Don't mind that guy up there, he's okay but a little crazy, thinks he's a lightbulb."
"Well, let's get him down before he hurts himself."
The sitting man stares back in shock. "And work in the *dark*?!"
Two factory workers talking: Woman
Physics Teacher: Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?
Student: Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything.
Two factory workers talking:
Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off.
Man: And how would you do that?
Woman: Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
Boss comes in: What are you doing?
Woman: I'm a light bulb.
Boss: You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.
The man starts to follow her and the boss says: Where are you going?
The man says: I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.
Two factory workers are talking.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
A man walks into a bar,
And sees a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. Thinking this is rather odd, he goes over to the bartender and asks about the meat on the ceiling.
The bartender tells him, "if you can jump and touch any piece of meat up there, you get free drinks for the night. If, however, you miss, you have to buy rounds for everyone in the bar."
The man looks up at the meat, then back at the bartender, then around the room at all the hopeful faces, and finally says to the bartender,
"I think I'll pass, the steaks are too high"
A man walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar and sees meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender "why is there meat hanging from the ceiling". The bartender responds "If you jump and touch the meat, you get a free drink. If you jump and miss, you have to buy drinks for everyone".
The bartender asks "Are you going to do it?"
The man responds "No. The steaks are too high"
A man walks into a bar with his buddies and sees three steaks hanging from the ceiling.
He asks the bartender "Why are there three steaks hanging from the ceiling?"
The bartender replies "It's a contest sort of thing, actually. If you can jump and slap one of the steaks, you and your buddies get free drinks for the night. If not, you have to pay for everyone in the bar's drinks for the next hour. Wanna give it a try?"
The man thinks for a few minutes and makes his decision.
"Bartender, as much as my buddies and I would like free drinks, the stakes are just too high."
A man walks into a bar, and sees three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling.....
K so a dude walks into a bar, and sees three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling.
"What's that?", Said Dude, looking up at the meat.
"It's a contest", replied the bartender. "Whoever can jump up and hit all three pieces, I will cook that beef for them and will serve them all free drinks for the rest of the night."
He continues, "If you fail to hit them, or even two, on the first three tries, you will have to pay for everyone's drinks for the rest of the night. Nobody can interfere. Wanna give it a try?"
"No," Said Dude, "I would, but the steaks are too high."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a bar
He sees some meat hanging off the ceiling. Curious he asks the bartender,
"What's with all the hanging meat?"
Bartender replies, "It's a challenge for the patrons. If you can touch the meat, you win $1000. If you can't, I pluck one of your eyeballs out."
The man looks at the floor, then looks up to the ceiling. He then says,
"I won't do it...the steaks are too high."
A man walks into a bar. First thing he notices is two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling...
He sits down at the bar and says "what's with the meat?"
The bartender replies "Ah that's our game. The rules are simple, if you can jump in the air and touch both pieces of meat before your feet touch the floor, then everyone else in the bar will buy your drinks for the evening, but if you can't then you have to buy everyone else's drinks. Would you like to play?"
The man considers for a second and then says "Nah, steaks are too high".
A man walks into a bar
and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the barman, "Why are those two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling?"
The barman replies, "It's a competition which we run every night. If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get free drinks for the whole night."
"Great!" says the man, "but what if I can't reach them?"
"Then you have to buy all the drinks for everyone all night," the barman answers. "Do you want to try?"
"No, but thanks anyway."
"Why not?", asks the barman.
"The steaks are too high."
Two factory workers
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
A man walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling.
He sits down and orders a beer, and asks the bartender
"what's the deal with the steaks?"
"It's a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar. If you try and fail, though, you pay for everyone's drinks for the rest of the night"
The man sits and thinks it over, and a couple minutes later the bartender asks if he wants to have a go.
"Nah, the steaks are too high"
A man goes to heaven
A man dies and goes to heaven, where he is met with Peter in a room full of clocks. The man looks around and sees something weird: all the clocks are going at a different pace. The man turns to Peter and asks him what all does clocks are about.
Peter replies: that is what we use to see if someone is lying. Every time someone lies, his/her clock moves by 1 second. Then the man looks up and sees a huge clock hanging on the ceiling, spinning faster than any other clock in the room. Who's clock is that? The man asks. Oh that, Peter says, that is Trump's clock. We use it as our ventilator!
A child point his finger at a toy plane attached to the ceiling
And he says to his mum mum I really want to be like that airplane when I grow up!
His mother: why? Because it flies really high?
Him: no, because it's hanging from the ceiling
A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave.....
discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?"
And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.
Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
———
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into his favorite neighborhood bar and is shocked to see that all the dart boards are now hanging from the ceiling. "This is ridiculous!" he complains to the bartender. "It really makes me want to throw up."
