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Handy Man Jokes

16 handy man jokes and hilarious handy man puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about handy man that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Handy Man Short Jokes

Short handy man jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The handy man humour may include short handyman jokes also.

  1. Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done. Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
  2. What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed? Thanks for the handy cap.
  3. So I'm going to start a business offering landscaping, painting, moving and other handy man services called Manuel labor
  4. Did you hear about the handyman who had s**... with his mom? Unfortunately, he's not a very handy man because he broke his arms.
  5. A man contemplates if it's worth m**... now so he can last longer in bed later. It will come in handy.

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Handy Man One Liners

Which handy man one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with handy man? I can suggest the ones about handy and repairman.

  1. What happened to the handy man when he lost his hands? He became an army man.
  2. What did the german man say when he got a phone? Das Handy
  3. So I got a manual on how to please a man. So far it's really come in handy.
  4. Like the man who has run out kleenexes... this is bound to come in handy!
  5. What does a short handy man and a chronic p**... have in common? His tools

Happy Handy Man Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about handy man you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean maintenance man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make handy man pranks.

A homeless man knocks on a woman's door, looking for help...

"Think you could spare a few bucks? maybe some food?"
The woman thinks to herself for a few seconds, then says,
"You could do some handy work around here, I'd be glad to give you $30 if you paint my porch. There's some green paint and a brush right around the corner there, have at it."
He thanks her, and heads towards the bucket. She returns inside and resumes her knitting. After about an hour, she gets up to check on his progress, and sees no man, or a freshly painted porch. Just then, she hears a knocking again at her door, and goes to open it.
She is greeted by the same man, green paint splattered on his clothes and in his beard, a wide grin on his face.
"All done ma'am. and by the way, it's a Cadillac, not a Porche."