The Best 21 Handshake Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Handshake jokes. There are some handshake protocol jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these handshake vitro puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Handshake Jokes and Puns

How does a cannibal say hello?

He offers you a handshake.

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.

The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said "Your first job will be to sweep out the store.

But I'm a college graduate! the young man replied indignantly.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that" said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how...

What is a cannibal's favourite shake?


Handshake joke, What is a cannibal's favourite shake?

Why did Jeffrey Dahmer keep a blender on his front porch?

So he could greet visitors with a handshake.

We all know about the American Civil War...

But the Canadian Civil War was resolved with a handshake and an apology... making it more civil than any war ever.

Two gold diggers are sitting in a bar...

The women are scoping out the men looking for their next find when a man walks up to the bar next to then and takes out a diamond-covered wallet.

"Hello there, you seem like a kind and interesting person! I'm Jennifer", she says as she goes in for a handshake.

The man replies "Listen, I know how you women are and you just like me because of my diamond wallet!"

She leans over to him, "No darling! It's what's on the inside that counts!"

man coronavirus is real..

you gotta start using UDP over TCP to avoid handshake

Handshake joke, man coronavirus is real..

Heard this one from my trumpet playing band director

Does anyone know the Trumpeteer handshake?
"Hi, I'm better than you"

LPT: To prevent a snake from biting, grasp their tail firmly and shake vigorously

Since snakes don't have hands, the snake will think that you are a businessman and that he is a business snake, and you are about to make a handshake deal.

Why did Jeffery Dahmer have a blender on his front porch?

So he could greet you with a handshake.

Experts have decided on a caption for the famous photo of Trump and Putin's first handshake

They settled on "Grabbing America By the Pus*y"

You can explore handshake armstrong reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean handshake turner dad jokes. There are also handshake puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

The Japanese Prime Minister formally protested after meeting Trump at the White House

Mr Trump treated Shinzo Abe to his trademark greeting, involving a muscular grasping of the hand and the subsequent pulling of the recipient towards him in a dominant way.

Mr Abe said, "What an awful yank. And I didn't like the handshake either."

a cannibal's favorite drink

What drink does a cannibal have after a long day? a handshake!


Him: That's a firm handshake for a woman.

Her: That's a small bulge for a man.

Him: Your mom didn't think so.

Her: My mom died.

Him: Of exhaustion.

Why did Jeffrey Dahmer keep a blender on his front porch?

To greet people with a handshake.

How do two lawyers greet each other?

With a firm handshake.

Handshake joke, How do two lawyers greet each other?

I asked a recluse if he had a girlfriend

He said he would introduce me to her and reached for a handshake.

Worst way to end the sex.

Climax followed by a firm handshake.

How do you call a handshake between two AIDS-Sick people?


Me and my black friend Jackson have a secret handshake

We call it the Jackson Five.

Welcome to the Psych Med Club!

We were working on a secret handshake, until we lost interest in the things we once loved.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the handshake monogamy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working handshake chil piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes