Handmade Jokes
10 handmade jokes and hilarious handmade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about handmade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Laughter Handmade Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What is a good handmade joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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My s**... life lately has been like very fine jewelry
100% handmade
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lot of effort goes into my erections.
They're all handmade.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why Do You Get Paid More At The s**... Bank Than At The Blood Bank?
s**... Is Handmade.
A hobbyist metalsmith was arrested for displaying his handmade pennies in public. What was he charged with?
Indie-cent exposure.
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Why is it always crowded in a s**... bank?
Because people are paid to come.
Why'd you think s**... donations are really expensive, because they're handmade
But Its hardwork tho, it takes alo of b**... to do it, whatever you thing you on regular that's nutting.
After so much effort and so many tries, my wife finally was able to make a handmade purse!
Now that's what you call...perseverance.
A wife tells her husband on their wedding day...
A wife tells her husband on their wedding day to never open a shoebox that she keeps in their closet. The husband complies. Decades later the wife is on her deathbed and asks for the husband to bing the box and open it. He finds in it two handmade dolls and $25,000 in cash. The wife tells him that every time she got so mad she wanted to kill him, she would redirect that energy into making these dolls.
The husband became teary eyed at the fact that she only became angry at him twice in all these years of marriage.
"What about the cash?" He asked
"Oh, that's the money I made from selling the other dolls."
A Woman on her Deathbed
An elderly woman is laying on her deathbed with her husband at her side.
"Honey", she says, "I want to show you something. Go in to the closet and take down the box from the top shelf."
So her husband goes and does as he is asked and opens the box to find two handmade dolls and five thousand dollars in cash.
"Dear, what is this?" he asks his wife.
She replies, "The day we were married, my grandmother sat me down and told me,'There are going to be times that the two of you fight, times that you'll be so sick of him you cannot even stand the sight of him. Whenever a time like that comes, sit down and make a doll to calm yourself down.'"
Her husband had tears in his eyes, after all these years of marriage, she was only ever mad at him twice, he could not believe how he had married such an amazing woman. Then he asked,"And what about the money?" She replied, "Oh, that's the money I made from selling the dolls."
Pope John Paul II...
...was on a tour of the United States some years ago. During a stop in Atlanta, an admirer presented him with a beautiful handmade ring. But somehow, in the hectic confusion of the tour, the ring was misplaced.
"Don't worry, Your Holiness," said the pope's aide. "I'm sure it will turn up before we leave the States."
The tour was so busy that the lost ring slipped everyone's mind. The pope and his entourage were on the jet, preparing for the trip back to Vatican City. Just then a Beatles song came on the loudspeaker.
The aide stood up. "Hey, that reminds me," he said. "Where did John Paul's Georgian ring go?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some facts about h**...
He was shorter than most people would think, standing at 5'8". He was obsessed with self-image, and believed that pants that accentuated the glutes were physically imposing. His boots were hand-made by a friend of the family. An avid golfer, he never cleaned his 4 wood, considering the dirt on it to be lucky. The doors in his house would often need fixing, which he did himself. He was the captain of the rowing crew in college.
To sum it all up:
Shorty had them apple bottom jeans (jeans)
Boots for the Fuhrer. (For the Fuhrer)
The four club was full of that dirt
He fixed the doors. (He fixed the doors)
Last thing you know,
Shorty went "Row, row, row, row, row, row, row, row."
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