Handkerchief Jokes
18 handkerchief jokes and hilarious handkerchief puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about handkerchief that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Handkerchief Short Jokes
Short handkerchief jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The handkerchief humour may include short napkin jokes also.
- Was walking with my friend when an eyelash got in my eye and he offered me his handkerchief Told him bro that would be so uneyegeinic
- How does a handkerchief differ from golf? If you get a hole in one you might end up with a bogey.
- Dave went to an optician and said, "I think I need new glasses, these are blurry." The optician replied, "If you're going to clean them with your handkerchief, do it before you blow your nose."
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Handkerchief One Liners
Which handkerchief one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with handkerchief? I can suggest the ones about hand sanitizer and handbag.
- So a magician on a cruise night has a show every night... NOTSONINJA
- Today I saw a dead baby ghost... Upon reflection, it might have been a handkerchief.
- People who sell handkerchiefs Poke their business into other people's noses.
- What do you call a fatcat's handkerchief? Adi-p**... tissue.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Handkerchief Jokes
What funny jokes about handkerchief you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean scarf jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make handkerchief pranks.
A man goes into the bathroom to take a dump.
When he's done, he realizes there's no toilet paper. Knocking on the stall next to him, he asks, "Hey, do have an extra roll of toilet paper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have a newspaper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have an old handkerchief?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have change for a five?"
Got this one from my grandpa.
A circus is holding auditions and a 91 year old man shows up. "What do you do?" asks the ringmaster.
"I bend over backwards," says the man, "and pick up a handkerchief off the floor with my teeth."
"Wow," says the ringmaster, impressed that this elderly man is agile enough to do this. "Then what do you do?" he asks.
"Then I bend over again," says the man, "and pick up my teeth."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Scottish Soldier marches into a pharmacy
A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy.
Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton
bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also
unfolds to reveal a c**....
The c**... has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.
"Six pence" says the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence" says the chemist.
The Scot painstakingly folds the c**... into the silk square handkerchief
and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran, and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,
followed by an even greater shout.
The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the
proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.
"The regiment has taken a vote," he says. "We'll have a new one."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've gotten 100000+ girls in bed with this line.
Does my handkerchief smell like chloroform?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Raise your hand if you're wearing underwears or p**... with holes in them...
For those smug individuals that did not raise their hand, I'm curious how you inserted your legs in them if they have no holes? Unless you're wrapping a handkerchief.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Grandmother dropped her handkerchief in front of a solider on main street; Four weeks later they were married.
And that guy was b**... her long before my grandfather joined the picture
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The sales chief, the HR chief, and the boss are on their way to lunch around the corner.
They detour through an alley and stumble on a beat up but valuable looking brass container.
The sales chief picks it up and starts cleaning it with his handkerchief.
Suddenly, a genie emerges out of a curtain of purple smoke.
The genie is grateful to be set free and offers them each a wish.
The HR chief is wide-eyed and ecstatic.
She says, "I want to be living on a beautiful beach in Jamaica with a sailboat and enough money to make me happy for the rest of my life."
p**...! She disappears.
The sales chief says, "Wow! I want to be happily married to a wealthy supermodel with penthouses in New York, Paris, and Hong Kong."
Presto, he vanishes.
"And how about you?" asks the Genie, looking at the boss.
The boss scowls and says, "I want both those idiots back in the office by 2 PM."
Moral: Always let your boss speak first.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At a state dinner, both the King of the Czech lands and the King of France happened to witness a m**....
The next day, they held a joint conference to describe what they each had seen. As the King of France gave his recollection of the details of the m**..., the audience gasped and clutched their handkerchiefs and at the end swooned in amazement. But when the King of the Czech lands gave his eyewitness account, the audience barely reacted, some even yawning! A Czech prince, full of indignation, demanded of a courtier, Why are the people so bored with my father's speech? The courtier replied, Don't you know? These days you get no interest in a Czech King account.
