The Best 55 Handicap Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Handicap jokes. There are some handicap hurdle jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these handicap golf puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Handicap Jokes and Puns

Why was the handicapped kid getting bullied?

He just couldn't stand up for himself.

Women are like bathrooms stalls....

....they're all dirty, except the handicap ones -Jim Jeffries

What do you say to a handicapped dog?

Down Syndrome, down!

Handicap joke, What do you say to a handicapped dog?

What do you say to a handicapped dog?


What's a handicapped person's least favorite type of Comedy?

Stand up.

Why was Helen Keller so good at golf?

She was a 2 handicap.

What's the most important part of a vegetable's golf stats?

The handicap.

Handicap joke, What's the most important part of a vegetable's golf stats?

My daughter came home from school with an assignment that asked to to finish the phrase, "I have a dream..." this is what she came up with.

I have a dream...

That one day handicap people will be able to park wherever they want to.

I have a dream...

That one day handicap people will be able to park wherever they want.

Why do Cleveland Cavaliers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?

So they can park in handicap spaces!

Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors?

So they can park in handicap spots.

You can explore handicap disability reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean handicap disabilities dad jokes. There are also handicap puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Two handicapped men walk into a bar...


After seeing the disaproval of gay Jokes I might as well say that handicap jokes are also horrible and rude.

I just can't stand them.

I played golf with a guy in a wheelchair today

He must not play much judging by the silence I was met with when I asked him what his handicap is.

Handicap Comedians

Why aren't there any comedians who are in wheelchairs?

Because they can't do stand up.

What did the handicapped racecar driver say?

"I have no Hans"

Handicap joke, What did the handicapped racecar driver say?

What do you call it when a Greek handicap falls over?

Olympus has fallen.

I like my women like my bathrooms

Handicap accessible.

Why isn't there golf in the Paralympics?

Because it would be really awkward asking what their handicap was.

To the handicapped guy who stole my bag

You can hide but you can't run

What happened to the frog parked in a handicap spot?

He go toad.

What do you call a golfing kangaroo with a 0 handicap?

A parsupial.

What do Special Olympics golfers always ask each other?

"What's your handicap?"

I like my women like I like my golf scores

In the mid 70's with a slight handicap

A handicapped man stole my bag...

You can hide but you cant run

This morning I passed by a car that had a handicap marker and a bumper sticker that read "JESUS IS STILL THE ANSWER".

Made me laugh anyway.

I parked in three different handicap parking spots last week. No ticket, and no dirty looks.

Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.

I saw a man pull up.....

to a disabled park in a golf buggy. I couldn't help but wonder what his handicap was.

So when I decided to be a stand-up comedian , I knew I had to be offensive.

Because being a stand-up comedian is in itself a handicap joke.

A handicapped guy stole my camo shirt.

You can hide but you can't run!


Why do we need 24 handicapped parking spaces at Home Depot? Could we just talk about this? If a guy can spackle his bathroom, lay pipe and put up gutters, don't you think you can walk the extra 30 feet to the parking lot?

What's the most common type of handicap?


A man in a wheechair is playing golf...

His caddy walks up and says "Hello sir! What is your handicap?"

Which book does a handicap and the NRA hate the most?

A Farewell to arms

I once called the cops on an asshat who parked in a handicap spot...

They came to check it out, found he had priors and warrants. They took him off to jail right after they figured out what to do with his wheelchair.

I saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay today...

**I thought to myself, 'I wonder what his handicap is?'**

Why are handicap signs blue?

Because they're all crips.

What do you call a handicap sticker in Oklahoma?

A high school diploma.

I like my women like I like my golf game,

mid-80s with a slight handicap.

I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl

Momma always taught me to eat my vegetables.

I know many handicapped people with a great sense of humour.

Shame they don't do stand-up comedy.

This lady kept saying my son had a handicap

I said "No, he always hooks it"

Do you know why my Dad hangs a hat from his rear view mirror?

To prove he has a handicap.

What does handicapped protesters stands for?

They can't

What's the advantage of having a blonde with you in a car?

You can park in a handicap spot.

A handicapped kid wants to be an astronaut.

Because he has spacial needs.

To the handicapped man who stole my wallet

To the handicapped man who stole my wallet:
"You can hide, but you can't run."

Handicap buttons

They really open a lot of doors for you

As a handicapped person, I'll always defend my parking spot

The time I've let other people run over me is past

Q: What do you get when you drag a $1000 bill in the housing projects?

A: So they can park in the handicap spaces.

A man parks his car in a 'disabled parking' spot when a traffic policeman shows up.

'Well well well sir,' says the policeman while getting his coupon book 'what is your handicap that allows you to park here?'

After a brief moment of thinking the man awnsers: 'Tourette's sydrome, Cocksucker!'

When playing a game against a less skilled player, it's considered fair to give them a handicap.

That's why I always break my opponent's kneecaps before a game of Monopoly

What do handicapped people and Rick Astley have in common?

They're never gonna run around.

The worst part about Tiger Wood's driving

is that it's probably going to add to his handicap.

Two single people met up on handicap singles night after having no luck in years...

The man had a wooden peg leg, and the woman has a wooden eye. After finally getting up the courage, the woman asks the man if he would like to dance.

Would I? Would I? he yells excitedly.

In complete disgust, she yells back, Peg Leg! Peg Leg!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the handicap hamper jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working handicap wheelchair piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes