Handi Jokes

36 handi jokes and hilarious handi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about handi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Handi Short Jokes

Short handi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The handi humour may include short stay jokes also.

  1. Marvel Comics have announced a new female, Muslim superhero who can fly. Which is handy, cause she's not allowed to drive.
  2. Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done. Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
  3. My grandma used to say "kill them with kindness... ...and if that doesn't work, kill them with whatever's handy".
    She's set to be released from prison in 2049.
  4. I just walked past White Hart Lane and found 3 Spurs season tickets nailed to a wall. I thought of having them.
    Nails always come in handy.
  5. Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming.
  6. Anyone who loses his arms shouldn't just throw them out. You never know when they'll come in handy.
  7. Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine... Which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
    /Jack Handy
  8. What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed? Thanks for the handy cap.
  9. Robert Kraft doesn't always have a use for massage parlors. But sometimes they come in handy.
  10. I used to work in a circus for a few years. I was quite handy. I was the only person who could get the tent back in the bag.

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Handi One Liners

Which handi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with handi? I can suggest the ones about praise and syndrome.

  1. What happened to the handy man when he lost his hands? He became an army man.
  2. Sign language is pretty handy.
  3. Why should you always carry arms with you? They might come in handy.
  4. I just ran out of tissues... Lately, it's been coming in handy
  5. A teenage boy is like an alarm clock Comes in handy once a day
  6. Handy tip... Is what I call my fingers.
  7. What do you call it when you get an STD from someone who is disabled? The Handi-clap.
  8. I learned sign language It's very handy!
  9. It's good to know sign language. It's pretty handy.
  10. Why should you always keep a chronic masturbater nearby? He comes in handy.
  11. Do You Know Sign Langauge? Well you should because it's handy.
  12. What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger gives you a handie? An Ahnold Palmer
  13. My son is a real hand full. I didn't have any tissues handy.
  14. Being single means... ...that you come in handy
  15. What did the german man say when he got a phone? Das Handy

Handi joke, What did the german man say when he got a phone?

Amusing Handi Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about handi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bulb jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make handi pranks.

Two handicapped men walk into a bar...


To the handicapped guy who stole my bag

You can hide but you can't run

Why are handicap signs blue?

Because they're all crips.

Someone was handing out certificates for a free karate Lesson at the mall yesterday

He told me I could only Taek Won Do

What do you say to a handicapped dog?

Down Syndrome, down!

I know many handicapped people with a great sense of humour.

Shame they don't do stand-up comedy.

A handicapped man stole my bag...

You can hide but you cant run

What do you say to a handicapped dog?


What do handicapped people and Rick Astley have in common?

They're never gonna run around.

I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl

Momma always taught me to e**... vegetables.


Why do we need 24 handicapped parking spaces at Home Depot? Could we just talk about this? If a guy can spackle his bathroom, lay pipe and put up gutters, don't you think you can walk the extra 30 feet to the parking lot?

Why was the handicapped kid getting bullied?

He just couldn't stand up for himself.

As a handicapped person, I'll always defend my parking spot

The time I've let other people run over me is past

To the handicapped man who stole my wallet

To the handicapped man who stole my wallet:
"You can hide, but you can't run."

A handicapped kid wants to be an astronaut.

Because he has spacial needs.

What's a handicapped person's least favorite type of Comedy?

Stand up.

Handicap b**...

They really open a lot of doors for you

When they were handing out noses...

I thought they said "roses" so I asked for a big, red one.

A handicapped guy stole my camo shirt.

You can hide but you can't run!

Now I hit the FBO with duffels in my hand,I did half a Xan

and kept the other half in the duffel.

What does handicapped protesters stands for?

They can't

Handi joke, What does handicapped protesters stands for?