Handgun Jokes
21 handgun jokes and hilarious handgun puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about handgun that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Handgun Short Jokes
Short handgun jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The handgun humour may include short firearm jokes also.
- White elephant | loaded hand gun My brother wrapped a loaded handgun for a white elephant gift exchange with the family for the holidays.
- I have an idea for a game It's just like FIFA, except we give the players some handguns and machetes,
We will call it 'Brazil' - What are the similarities between a US handgun and a Feminist? 30 of them are triggered every second
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Handgun One Liners
Which handgun one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with handgun? I can suggest the ones about machine gun and pistol.
- Why don't feminists carry handguns? Because of the triggers.
I'm sorry - Why was the Tyrannosaurus rex selling handguns? Because he was a small arms dealer.
- What do Mexicans call a Catholic handgun? Epistle
- They had to put my handgun under at the hospital He's in a glock coma
- What do you call an American handgun with no hair? A bald deagle.
- Why a lesbian doesn't carry a handgun? She doesn't like a hard thing in her hands.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Handgun Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about handgun you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rifle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make handgun pranks.
I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun
The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The gym teacher gets a handgun, the janitor gets a shot gun, and the principal gets an u**.... What do they arm the lunch lady with?
A salt rifle
A man walks into a small bank
There is no queue and a single teller who he approaches, a big smile on their face visible after a quick glance around:
"Hey, you know something? I like my banks how I like my ladies."
The teller rolls her eyes before asking "How?"
While pulling out a handgun, the man answered:
"Insecure."
A teacher confiscates two birds, a dog, and a handgun from a kindergarten student.
Teacher: "What are you doing with these things?!"
Student: "I'm practicing my alphabet."
Teacher: "Bringing animals and a gun to class is no way to learn!"
Student: "Sure it is. I have a beagle, a seagull, a Deagle, and an eagle."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Handgun owners have a 2% increased rate of s**....
If we could get that up to 10%, Democrats stand a chance in 2020.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three guys are lined up to be executed by handgun.
The executioner ask the first one, "Any last words?"
"Tornado!" He exclaims, pointing behind the executioner, who turns around in t**.... While the executioner is distracted, he runs away.
So the executioner moves on the the next guy. "Any last words?"
"Tsunami!" He yelled, pointing towards the nearby seashore. Again, the executioner turns around and the second guy gets away.
Frustrated, the executioner goes the the last guy. "Any last words?"
"Fire!"
So the executioner shoots him in the face.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Concealed Carry
Got another concealed carry p**... yesterday.
In the afternoon, I went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.
When I was ready to pay for the p**... and ammo, the cashier said, "s**... down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!
As an intelligent senior citizen, I do not get flustered often. But this time, it took me a while to get my pants back on.
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear.
I still don't think I looked that bad!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a panda walks into a restaurant....
sits down and begins looking at the menu. The waiter quite taken aback by this panda decides he doesn't look dangerous and takes his order. The panda eats his meal, takes out a handgun, shoots a few rounds off and gets up to leave.
The waiter now freaking out asks the panda "Why would you do that?!?" In which the panda replies "look it up" and hands him a really c**... looking dictionary. The waiter thumbs through it and finds the word "Panda"
It says:
Panda: a bear-like mammal that Eats, shoots and leaves.
The CIA was recruiting a new hitman...[Adult]
... and had 3 preferencial candidates, a french guy, a british guy and a portuguese guy.
They all had the same final test, which was to kill their wives with a handgun.
First one was the french. He immediatly refused, saying he could never kill his beloved wife.
Next was the british guy. He paced around inside the room his wife was, but after 10 minutes he handed back the gun, all teary eyed, saying he could not do it.
Last one was the portuguese guy. He went into the room and as soon as the door closed, they heard 3 shots. After that they heard a lot of noise, like cursing, stuff breaking, yelling and after a couple of minutes, complete silence.
The portuguese guy came out, visibly tired and said:
"You guys could have told me the gun had blanks. I had to beat her to death."
![Handgun joke, The CIA was recruiting a new hitman...[Adult]](/images/jokes/handgun-jokes-why-dont-feminists-carry-handgunsn-n-because-of-th.jpg "Handgun joke, The CIA was recruiting a new hitman...[Adult]")