Handcuffed Jokes

Why couldn't the Italian explain himself to the police?

He was handcuffed.

My wife and I were going on holiday

And we were discussing our secret s**... fetishes. She said she always wanted to be handcuffed. So I planted a kilo of coke in her suitcase.

A k**... woman handcuffed me and said, "I always wanted to do this to you"

Then she took me to prison

s**... joke

Wife dressed up as a police woman, handcuffed me to the bed and said I was under arrest for being a s**... god.
Was released 2 minutes later with no charge.

What do you call it when a heart is getting handcuffed?

Cardiac arrest

Bert Kreischer coffee black joke

Starbucks Barista - How would you like your coffee?
ME - Handcuffed for nothing & taken to jail.
(I like my coffee like I like my men. Black and wrongly accused based only on that.)

A man by the name of Ronald Bates came home to find his butler being arrested...

"What in the world could my butler have done to be arrested?" Bates asked the police officer handcuffing the butler.
"We had a complaint from you next door neighbor that he was yelling obscene remarks," the police officer replied.
"Obscene remarks?!?! What was he saying?!?!"
"The neighbors say that, for a few minutes on end, he kept yelling 'Masturbates,' 'Masturbates!'

One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, "Acts 2:38: 'Repent & be baptized & your sins will be forgiven.'" The robber quickly gave up & the lady rang the police. While handcuffing the criminal, a policeman said, "Gee mate, you gave up pretty easily. How come you gave up so quickly?" The robber said, "She said she had an axe and two 38's!"

I'm sorry I haven't got back to you but I've been handcuffed to a panda

So bear with me