Hand Hygiene Jokes
4 hand hygiene jokes and hilarious hand hygiene puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hand hygiene that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hand Hygiene Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good hand hygiene joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene.
It's that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy comes back after a vacation...
He's in the airport when the custom agents stopped him.
"Sir, open the bag" said the agents.
The man obliges and opens the bag, revealing clothes, hygiene products and a small bottle of transparent liquid.
"What is this, sir?" asks one of the agents.
"Lourdes Holy Water, sir." he answers.
The other agent doesn't believe him, he opens the bottle and sniffs it, before saying:
"Hey, this is v**...!"
The man throws himself on the ground, hands in the air shouting: "IT'S A MIRACLE! A MIRACLE!"
A millionaire is looking for a housekeeper.
Three people showed up for the job. He wants to make sure they have good personal hygiene during work, so he put a camera in his big restroom monitoring the sink and see if they wash their hands after going to the restroom.
The first one finishes, doesn't wash his hands and walked out, the millionaire fires him.
The second one finishes, also doesn't wash his hands, he is fired as well.
The last guy, however, washed his hands before coming out. The owner is delighted, he asked him: " The previous two didn't washed their hands after going to the restroom, why did you wash them?"
The guy replies: "Because the toilet paper ran out".
My grandmother told me this one...
So it happens in a fancy restaurant.
One day, the hygiene commission arrives to see if the criterias are respected and the restaurant is clean and safe etc.
They observe that everytime someone orders a coffee with sugar, the waiters take one sugar cube with their fingers and put it next to the coffee, on the little plate. The inspector is disgusted by that behaviour and tells to the boss : "you must never touch the sugar with your hands ! What if an employee has been to the toilet and didn't wash their hands ? Use sugar tongs instead."
So the boss gathers his employees and tells them : "Here, take these. We've been told we had to use them, because sometimes you might go to the toilet without washing your hands, or whatever..." and he gives each waiter a pair of sugar tongs.
Moments later, the boss is wandering around when he sees one of the waiters preparing a coffee, and taking the sugar cube with his hands.
"What did I tell you earlier ?! Where are your tongs ?"
The waiter takes them from his pocket ; "here boss !"
"Why are you not using them ?"
"But, boss... I use them, like you told us ! Everytime I go to the toilet !"
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