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Hamster Jokes

58 hamster jokes and hilarious hamster puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about hamster that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your friends laugh with these hilarious hamster jokes. From dead hamster jokes, to rat jokes, and Pavlov jokes, these jokes about hamsters and their cages will have you rolling. Enjoy these funny hamster jokes today!

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Funniest Hamster Short Jokes

Short hamster jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hamster humour may include short rabbit jokes also.

  1. The best beginner pet is a Hamster. They live for 5 days and don't require any food or water.
  2. Cigarettes are like hamsters Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.
  3. What do hamsters and cigarettes have in common? They're both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire
  4. My friend said, I really need to go home and feed my baby hamsters. Me: That's a terrible diet for a baby.
  5. "I must go," said my friend. "Why?" I asked.
    He said, "I need to feed my baby hamsters."
    I said, "That's no way to raise a child."
  6. You know, cigarettes are a lot like Hamsters, Perfectly Harmless.... That is unless, of course, you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
  7. Me: You know, since it doesn't have a tail, I'm pretty sure it is actually a hamster. IT: Okay sir. Please right-click your hamster, and save the file.
  8. When my pet goldfish died my parents thought it would be a great idea to replace it with a hamster... Poor little guy drowned in seconds..
  9. I told my son that I found his hamster. He was ecstatic. Until I said it was in the vacuum cleaner.
  10. Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes Completely harmless till you light one on fire and place it in your mouth

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Hamster One Liners

Which hamster one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hamster? I can suggest the ones about monkey and rats.

  1. My hamster died... He fell asleep at the wheel.
  2. I drove my daughter's hamster to the vet this morning. I'm getting rather good at golf
  3. I just returned my pet hamster. I'm starting to think we should have used a tennis ball.
  4. What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia? A hamster
  5. What did the brown hamster say to the white hamster? You must be new here.
  6. How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two.
  7. I was wondering why my hamster was so fat... Then it became a parent.
  8. What do you call a pile of hamsters in a river? Hamster-dam.
  9. Did you hear about the hamster who died? He fell asleep at the wheel
  10. Where do hamsters go on vacation? Hamsterdam.
  11. I need to stop eating my troubles away , said the hamster mother of six, five, four...
  12. Why did the hamster die? He just didn't have the wheel to live.
  13. Why was the hamster a bad Supreme Court Justice? Because his mind was always on a pellet.
  14. My hamster died as he lived... in the microwave.
  15. where do the dutch rodents hang out in the hamster dam

Hamster Cigarette Jokes

Here is a list of funny hamster cigarette jokes and even better hamster cigarette puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How are a cigarette and a hamster alike? Both are completely harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
  • Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

    \- John Branyon
  • What do a cigarette and a hamster have in common? What do a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
    A: They are both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Hamster Wheel Jokes

Here is a list of funny hamster wheel jokes and even better hamster wheel puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week... Took her to the fair last night and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
Hamster joke, Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week...

Dead Hamster Jokes

Here is a list of funny dead hamster jokes and even better dead hamster puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man goes to a job interview The interviewer asks: "So, do you have any special skills?"
    Man, pulling a dead hamster out of his pocket: "Taxidermy!"
    Hamster: "And necromancy!"
Hamster joke, A man goes to a job interview

Howlingly Hilarious Hamster Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about hamster you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean worm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hamster pranks.

What do we call a wireless mouse?

Hamster.
Source: **Dad**

I bought my dog a new toy...

...but after a few hours it stopped working. I took it back to the pet shop to see if they could fix it. The guy looked at it for a second and said "I'm sorry, sir, but the hamster is dead".

"Son, I have some good news and some bad news."

"OK..." he hesitated.
"Well, the good news is...I got you a replacement hamster." I said.
"A...replacement..?" he stopped, as a tear ran down his cheek.
"Yes, and that leads me to the bad news," I added, "You are adopted."

"I've found your hamster," I told my daughter over the phone.

"You're a hero!" she screamed, "Thank you so much. Can you put him back in my cage for me?"
I said, "Of course. I just need to get him out of the hoover first though."

My little Hamster is such a laugh!!

He just stays in there on that circle thing going round and round and round for ages until ...
*DING* Then I take him out of the Microwave.

I was afraid that I had stepped on my child's hamster this morning...

... but laughed when I double checked. I had just tripped on a little puddle of blood and fur.

What do you call a water barrier constructed for rodents in the capital of the Netherlands?

An Amsterdam Hamster Dam

A child was continually asking his Mom to buy him a hamster.

When she did, the child looked after it for a couple of days, but soon he got bored, and it became the Mom's responsibility to feed it.
One day she got upset with the her son's carelessness and asked him, "How many times do you think this hamster would have died until now, if I wasn't looking after it?"
The child replied, "Um, I don't know. Once?"

A couple on the first date.

She: What are your hobbies?
He (gets a stuffed hamster out of his pocket): Taxidermy.
Hamster: And ventriloquism!

I went on a date and the girl asked me if I had any hobbies

Me: Yes *pulls a hamster out of my pocket* taxidermy
Hamster: and ventriloquism

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a polar bear?

A loss of project funding and a stern telling off from the university ethics committee

All the pets decide to play poker

The hamster cuts the cards. The dog deals them. Everyone picks the cards up but the cat.
Everyone antes up but the cat.
The fish looks at the cat and says, "Are you in or out?"
Cat:

When I was young my hamster died.

My parents replaced it, thinking I wouldn't notice.
But I did notice and killed the new one too.

What's the difference between a canary and a hamster?

The canary goes foshhh while the hamster goes fump in the vacuum.

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Can I have a free drink if I show you something amazing?"

The bartender agrees so he pulls out a tiny piano, a frog and a hamster. The hamster starts playing the piano and the frog starts singing Adele. As the bartender gets him his drink a punter asks him "how much for the singing frog?" The man replies "I'll sell him for £100 if you want?" And the punter agrees. The bartender sees this and says to the man " WHAT?! You could have made millions off that Why'd you sell him so cheap?" And the man says "no, it's okay... The hamsters a ventriloquist"

I, a French person, recently bought a female hamster from the netherlands

Her name is 'Amster Dame.

My son was overjoyed when I told him that I found his hamster.

Not so much when I said it was in the vacuum cleaner.

I told my son that I found his hamster in our vacuum cleaner.

With tears in his eyes he said, "Please get a new one, daddy..."
"I was thinking the same," I said, "the suction is absolutely terrible."

Hamster joke, What did the brown hamster say to the white hamster?

jokes about hamster