The Best 53 Hamster Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Hamster jokes. There are some hamster fluffy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hamster labrador puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Hamster Jokes and Puns

How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two.

What do we call a wireless mouse?


Source: **Dad**

I bought my dog a new toy...

...but after a few hours it stopped working. I took it back to the pet shop to see if they could fix it. The guy looked at it for a second and said "I'm sorry, sir, but the hamster is dead".

Hamster joke, I bought my dog a new toy...

Did you hear about the hamster who died?

He fell asleep at the wheel

Why did the hamster die?

He just didn't have the wheel to live.

When my pet goldfish died my parents thought it would be a great idea to replace it with a hamster...

Poor little guy drowned in seconds..

"Son, I have some good news and some bad news."

"OK..." he hesitated.

"Well, the good news is...I got you a replacement hamster." I said.

"A...replacement..?" he stopped, as a tear ran down his cheek.

"Yes, and that leads me to the bad news," I added, "You are adopted."

Hamster joke, "Son, I have some good news and some bad news."

"I've found your hamster," I told my daughter over the phone.

"You're a hero!" she screamed, "Thank you so much. Can you put him back in my cage for me?"

I said, "Of course. I just need to get him out of the hoover first though."

My hamster died as he lived...

in the microwave.

I'm writinig a book....

It's called *""Pop goes the hamster" and other great microwave games"*

There are 2 hamsters in the airing cupboard

There are 2 hamsters in the airing cupboard, which one is from the Army?

A: The one on the tank

You can explore hamster cage reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hamster cat dad jokes. There are also hamster puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes

Completely harmless till you light one on fire and place it in your mouth

Why was the hamster a bad Supreme Court Justice?

Because his mind was always on a pellet.

Where do hamsters go to smoke pot?


I told my son that I found his hamster.

He was ecstatic. Until I said it was in the vacuum cleaner.

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week...

Took her to the fair last night and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

Hamster joke, Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week...

My little Hamster is such a laugh!!

He just stays in there on that circle thing going round and round and round for ages until ...

*DING* Then I take him out of the Microwave.

My hamster died...

He fell asleep at the wheel.

I was afraid that I had stepped on my child's hamster this morning...

... but laughed when I double checked. I had just tripped on a little puddle of blood and fur.

I just returned my pet hamster.

I'm starting to think we should have used a tennis ball.

What do hamsters and cigarettes have in common?

They're both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire

A mother brings another hamster home to her son. Excited, he runs to his father and says...

"Papua, New Guinea pig!"

My friend got a hamster, I said "Name him Joseph Stalin, so you don't feel bad when he dies.", he blocked me.

[Short] What do you call Hulk Hogan in a hamster ball?

A Hogie Roll.

I drove my daughter's hamster to the vet this morning.

I'm getting rather good at golf

I was wondering why my hamster was so fat...

Then it became a parent.

What do you call a water barrier constructed for rodents in the capital of the Netherlands?

An Amsterdam Hamster Dam

What did the hamster say when he killed the aerosol can in a furious rage?

Die! odor rant!

A child was continually asking his Mom to buy him a hamster.

When she did, the child looked after it for a couple of days, but soon he got bored, and it became the Mom's responsibility to feed it.
One day she got upset with the her son's carelessness and asked him, "How many times do you think this hamster would have died until now, if I wasn't looking after it?"
The child replied, "Um, I don't know. Once?"

A couple on the first date.

She: What are your hobbies?
He (gets a stuffed hamster out of his pocket): Taxidermy.
Hamster: And ventriloquism!

What do you call a vegetarian hamster?

A tofuster.

Where did the hamster deposit her paycheck?

Her shavings account

Banksy just shredded a piece of art that was worth £1 million.

Some hamster is going to get some very expensive bedding.

Why do gay people eat lettuce?

To feed the hamster.

What are the similarities between a hamster and an antivaxer's kid?

They both only live for five years.

Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water?

Can't work it out. But more importantly, where is my hamster?

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes.

They're perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

\- John Branyon

I went on a date and the girl asked me if I had any hobbies

Me: Yes *pulls a hamster out of my pocket* taxidermy
Hamster: and ventriloquism

where do the dutch rodents hang out

in the hamster dam

With all the recent posts it is my turn too to see if this French joke translates well to English

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time

Where do hamsters go on vacation?


What do you get when you cross a hamster with a polar bear?

A loss of project funding and a stern telling off from the university ethics committee

What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?

A hamster

All the pets decide to play poker

The hamster cuts the cards. The dog deals them. Everyone picks the cards up but the cat.

Everyone antes up but the cat.

The fish looks at the cat and says, "Are you in or out?"


When I was young my hamster died.

My parents replaced it, thinking I wouldn't notice.

But I did notice and killed the new one too.

What's the difference between a canary and a hamster?

The canary goes foshhh while the hamster goes fump in the vacuum.

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Can I have a free drink if I show you something amazing?"

The bartender agrees so he pulls out a tiny piano, a frog and a hamster. The hamster starts playing the piano and the frog starts singing Adele. As the bartender gets him his drink a punter asks him "how much for the singing frog?" The man replies "I'll sell him for £100 if you want?" And the punter agrees. The bartender sees this and says to the man " WHAT?! You could have made millions off that Why'd you sell him so cheap?" And the man says "no, it's okay... The hamsters a ventriloquist"

Me: You know, since it doesn't have a tail, I'm pretty sure it is actually a hamster.

IT: Okay sir. Please right-click your hamster, and save the file.

I need to stop eating my troubles away ,

said the hamster mother of six, five, four...

The best beginner pet is a Hamster.

They live for 5 days and don't require any food or water.

I, a French person, recently bought a female hamster from the Netherlands

Her name is 'Amster Dame.

My son was overjoyed when I told him that I found his hamster.

Not so much when I said it was in the vacuum cleaner.

What do a cigarette and a hamster have in common?

What do a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
A: They are both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hamster ferret jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hamster gremlin piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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