Hampshire Jokes
6 hampshire jokes and hilarious hampshire puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hampshire that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Hampshire Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What is a good hampshire joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A state surveyor visits a Maine farm.
He tells the old farmer that it's been discovered that his farm may actually be in New Hampshire, and not Maine. After several days of surveying, checking and rechecking, the surveyor tells the old farmer "Yep, I was right, your farm is in New Hampshire, not Maine."
"Good thing," says the old farmer, "Couldn't take another one of those Maine winters."
Taxidermist walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"
"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"
"I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
Boston's dead crows
On interstate I-95 running from Boston to New Hampshire they had a problem with crows being hit by vehicles. They were being killed by the hundreds. They hired a professor from MIT to figure out why so many crows were being hit. He discovered that when crows land to feed, they leave one crow in the tree to watch for danger. They found out that the Boston crows could say caw caw but they couldn't say truck truck .
Memorizing the Capitols
A man tells his friend, "I've memorized the capitols of every state." His friend is suspicious, and asks, "What's the Capitol of New Hampshire?" The man laughs. "That's a trick question. There's two. N and H."
Old Lenny
Old Lenny lived far out in the western mountains of Maine. He had spent all of his 80 years living on the family homestead.
One morning, two land surveyors appeared at his doorstep. The first one spoke: "Now Lenny, we know you is a proud Mainer, but it seems you ain't in Maine at all. We jist finished surveyin' this whole township, and your house is actually on the New Hampshire side of the state line."
"Wicked decent," says old Lenny, "I'd had enough of them Maine winters anyhow."
Topical Jokes for 1/31
The CEO of McDonald's has announced he'll be resigning later this year. It's the first time in history that a McDonald's employee has quit and given more than five seconds notice.
The New Hampshire lottery is selling scratch 'n sniff tickets that smell like bacon. The aroma is there to remind people that if they didn't waste their money on lottery tickets, they could afford to eat bacon.
In Alabama, a truck driver caused a mile-long traffic jam when he swerved off the road while trying to pull out a loose tooth. Drivers slowed down to look, because people in Alabama had never seen someone who has a tooth.
Suge Knight is suspected of running a man over with his car after an argument. The argument was about whether or not there's a pumpkin-flavored Jelly Belly.
...running over someone with your car seems crazy, but you have to keep in mind that Suge Knight's motto is Live every day like it's 'The Purge.'
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