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Hammock Jokes

9 hammock jokes and hilarious hammock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hammock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Hilariously clever jokes about hammocks and hammocking! From banana hammocks to comfy recliners, get ready to laugh with fun and punny jokes about this classic relaxation spot. Don't forget to bring a pillow and a mattress before you start joking!

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Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Hammock Jokes with Friends.

What is a good hammock joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A guy walked into a bar and told the bartender, "Man I need to get laid in the worst way!"

The bartender replied, "Well the worst way I know of is standing up in a hammock."

A sailor gets shore leave after 4 months at sea, and goes into a bar

He says to the bartender, "Man, I want to have s**... in the worst way!"
The bartender replies, "How about standing up in a hammock, during a rainstorm?"

Guy walks into a bar

orders 3 shots of tequila and tells the bartender I need s**... in the worst way.
Bartender replies worst way I can think of is standing in a hammock.

Bob and his friends were planning a fishing trip but the day before they were supposed to leave, his wife tells him he can't go.

His friends are disappointed but they head down to the river-side campgrounds without him the next day, but to their surprise he is already there drinking a beer swinging on a hammock. "What happened?", they ask. "Last night my wife was getting frisky so she told me to tie her up and do whatever I wanted."

I put a hammock up between two walls in my house

It really ties the room together.

What's the difference between a hammock and a Fortnight player.

One is a tied seat pod
The other eats tide pods

My wife came rushing in out of the garden and said, "There's a pair of my knickers missing off the washing line."

I said, "I know, the two kids from next door have them." She said, "The dirty little perverts." I said, "It's nothing like that, they mentioned something about building an hammock."

dying to have

A guy goes into bar and says to the bartender." I'm dying to have s**... in the worst way. The bartender says " Well, the worst way I can think of is standing up in a hammock."

A h**... is lying on a hammock in his backyard drinking a beer while his wife mows the lawn.

His neighbour leans over the fence and says, "That's disgusting. You let your wife do all the work while you just lie there and drink beer. You should be d**...-well hung!"
"I am," replies the h**.... "That's why she mows the lawn for me."

Hammock joke, A h**... is lying on a hammock in his backyard drinking a beer while his wife mows the lawn.

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Hammock joke, A h**... is lying on a hammock in his backyard drinking a beer while his wife mows the lawn.