Hamlet Jokes
44 hamlet jokes and hilarious hamlet puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about hamlet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your friends laugh with our collection of funny and clever Hamlet jokes. These jokes feature unique puns and quips based around the popular name of Hamlet, as well as bipartisan, GTA and wich references. Get ready for some great laughs!
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Funniest Hamlet Short Jokes
Short hamlet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hamlet humour may include short william shakespeare jokes also.
- In order to attract women I like to use this quote from shakespeare's Hamlet, Act III, Scene IV, line 82. "Hello."
- Ophelia: "Babe, come over." Hamlet: "I can't. I'm hiding a body."
Ophelia: "My dad's not home."
Hamlet: "I know." - Shakespeare jokes Said Hamlet of ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?
-Some of Spike Milligan's finest work - Hamlet gets a cough So, Hamlet is admitted to a hospital for a cough.
He asks the doctors: "TB or not TB" - What percentage of the characters in Hamlet were prostitutes? I don't know, but maybe you can ask Horatio.
- My friend gave me a copy of Hamlet Instead of letters it was all numbers. He gave me a cipher, but said he might have broke it....
So now I am wondering to myself... 2-B or not 2-B - TIL in modern retellings of Hamlet, directors often have a major debate when ascribing a proper apartment number to Hamlet's living residence and whether it should be 2B or not 2B.
- How did Claudius cause Hamlet's death? He had him killed by a foil!
- What was Hamlet screaming when running around a circle ? 2(pi)r or not 2(pi)r....(snicker)
- What did Shakespeare name his pet pig? Hamlet.
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Hamlet One Liners
Which hamlet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hamlet? I can suggest the ones about hams and romeo and juliet.
- What do you call a tiny pig reciting Shakespeare? Hamlet.
- What do you call a small pork farm? ... a hamlet.
- What do you call a town full of pigs? A hamlet
- Have you read the prequel to Hamlet yet? Piglet.
- I always thought Hamlet was the story of a small pig.
- What's it called when spies perform Hamlet? Thespionage
- Why wasn't Hamlet sad when his girlfriend drowned? He was more of a necrOpheliac anyway.
- What is Dr. Seuss' favorite play? Green Eggs and Hamlet
- Why did the boy name his dog Hamlet? Because it was a Great Dane.
- What did Shakespeare call the baby pig that he kept as a pet? Hamlet
- What's David Cameron's favourite Shakespeare play? Hamlet.
- Why don't asian parents like Hamlet? Because the monologue should be "To A or not to A"
- What do you call a miniature pig with narcolepsy? A sleepy little hamlet.
- Why does Michael Scott hate Hamlet? Toby or not Toby
- What does Hamlet say when he wakes up in the morning? *"Eye, there's the rub!"*
Shakespeare Hamlet Jokes
Here is a list of funny shakespeare hamlet jokes and even better shakespeare hamlet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is Shakespeare's favourite snack? Hamlet du fromage
- How a brass instrument player reads a line from Shakespeare's Hamlet. Tu-ba or no tu-ba.
Hamlet Name Jokes
Here is a list of funny hamlet name jokes and even better hamlet name puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There was a little hamlet overseen by a man named Lord Jesús de Vampirosos. He asked his knights to call him Christo, since he was a great reformer. All the peasants were Christians.
Great Hamlet Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about hamlet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean romeo jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hamlet pranks.
Whats the difference between a m**... and Hamlet performed by geese?
Nothing, they're both fowl play
Hamlet has to pee [Hamleak]
Quick little blurb I wrote in class:
To pee, or not to pee, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention.
Or to take arm against a see of u**... and by opposing relive it.
To go-to pee,
No more; and by a leak we say to end the headache and the thousand visceral shocks that u**... is heir to: 'tis a consummation devoutly to be p**...'d.
What do Hamlet and s**...-Doo have in common?
They're both great Danes.