The Best 26 Hamburgers Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Hamburgers jokes. There are some hamburgers cheeseburger jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hamburgers neil hamburger puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Hamburgers Jokes and Puns

What's the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky?

One of them is a meatier shower.

You tell them you're quitting alcohol, they offer you free drinks.

You tell them you're vegan, they offer you steaks and hamburgers.

You tell them you have no sexual life and ... nobody bats an eye.

An American, a Russian and an Estonian are on a plane

The American opens the door and drops some hamburgers and then says: "I have too many of these". Then the Russian goes to the Door and throws down some bottles of vodka and says: "I have too many of them". Then the Estonia comes and throws down the Russian and says: "I have too many of them".

Hamburgers joke, An American, a Russian and an Estonian are on a plane

What do you call a male cow that eats hamburgers?

A cannibull..ha..ha..?

What did the Mongols put on their Hamburgers?

Khan-diments.


I went to a bar on the weekend and the sign read:

Hamburgers £1:00
Cheeseburgers £2:00
Hand Job £3:00 (Oh yesss!!)
I called the attractive blonde behind the bar across to enquire. "Can I help you?" she asked with a big smile. "I was wondering (I whispered) Are you the one who gives them ummm!! Hand Jobs?" "Yessssss" she almost purrs "I am" "Well wash your hands," I said "I want a cheeseburger!!"

An American was talking to a Japanese friend on why he wouldn't eat french fries and hamburgers...

The Japanese friend said: "In Japan normally we don't eat a lot of unhealthy stuff because it'll make us fat".

The American said: "Why do you care about being fat?"

The Japanese friend said: "You don't want to know what happened last time when we had a fat man in Japan..."

Hamburgers joke, An American was talking to a Japanese friend on why he wouldn't eat french fries and hamburgers...

a traveling salesman ...

So a traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn't look much better.

Deciding not to take any chances, the salesman orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.

The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her arms.

The salesman says, "Why are the hamburgers under your arms?"

The waitress says, "I'm keeping them warm."

And the salesman says, "Cancel the hot dog."

Good joke to drop on most people.

A man walks into a bar and see's a sign that says:
Hamburgers - $1.00
Cheeseburgers - $2.00
Handjobs - $10.00

So the man approaches the blond, busty, beautiful bartender and says: "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

She replies "I sure am, sugar!"

"Great. Wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."

Following the meatless hamburger craze, a German company announced that they will start making a patty made out of Soylent Green.

They insist it is made completely from Hamburgers.

The hot dog

So a traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn't look too good, either.

Deciding he'd better not take any chances, the guy orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.

The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her arms.

The guy says, "Why are the hamburgers under your arms?"

The waitress says, "I'm keeping them warm."

And the guy says, "Cancel the hot dog."

You can explore hamburgers burger reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hamburgers patty dad jokes. There are also hamburgers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man walks into a bar...

and on the menu he sees Hamburgers $5, Cheeseburgers $6, Handjobs $10. He walks up to the bar and a beautiful brunette comes to take his order. She seductively leans over the bar and asks the man, Can I get you something dear? The man says Are you the one that makes the burgers and gives the handjobs? She grins and says I sure am honey and winks at him. He says Great, can you wash your hands, I'd love a cheeseburger.

If Londoners are what you call people from London and New Yorkers are what you call people from New York, what are Hamburgers??

Delicious!!

What kind of food truck serves hamburgers?

A patty wagon

My 7 y/o pal told me this.

What does the hamburger say when you ask it a question?

Zero.

Because hamburgers are round, like a zero.

I like my women like I like my hamburgers

With enriched white buns...

Hamburgers joke, I like my women like I like my hamburgers

What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?

French Flies

With food shortages in the world, I'm just glad that I don't have to hunt or make my own food.

I don't even know where wild hamburgers live

Why do Cannibals go to Germany when they want same fast food?

Because its full of Frankfurters and Hamburgers


Did you hear about all the Hamburgers that showed up at the Hot Dogs' prom?

They were in abundance.

What's the differnce between people from Dubai and Abu dabi?

People from Dubai dont like hamburgers and people from Abu Dabi do

The average American will eat 800 hamburgers a year.

I'm so spending the rest of the year giving mine away to vegans.

How many hamburgers could the Hamburgerler burgle if the Hamburgerler could burgle hamburgers?

I don't have a punch line, I just wanted a hamburger.

Kim Jong-Un likes his communism like he likes his hamburgers...

Extra Juche.

This year, the White House's Memorial Day Barbecue will be serving sliders...

Or as Trump calls them, "regular-sized hamburgers."

I eat a wide variety of foods: lasagna, tacos, hamburgers...

and dim sum.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hamburgers handjobs jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hamburgers steak piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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