Following is our collection of funny Hamburger jokes. There are some hamburger handjobs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hamburger neil hamburger puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
He says "ok, hamburger." The old lady sees the cook stick the hamburger meat under his arm and slaps it on the grill. The old lady says,"Oh my God that is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!" The waiter says, That's nothing you should see how he makes Donuts.
He sees a really pretty blonde lady working behind the counter. He looks at the menu, which reads
-Hamburger: $2.00
-Cheeseburger: $2.50
-Handjob:$25.00
He thinks for a second, then asks the woman "Are you the one that gives handjobs?"
She smiles and replies "I am."
"Great. Wash your hands. I want a burger."
Patty
A hot dog and a hamburger are having a drink at the bar. The hot dog says, "I've got some bad news for you and I can either sugar coat it, or give it to you straight." The hamburger replies, "Please--Beef Frank."
..and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger - 2.99
Cheeseburger - 3.99
Chicken Sandwich - 4.99
Hand Jobs - 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a sexy little smile.
The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."
the bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
It only had one byte.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Hello, I'd like a hamburger please."
The librarian says, "Sir, this is a library."
The man apologizes, then whispers ^"I'd ^like ^a ^hamburger ^please."
and says to the librarian, "I'll take a hamburger and fries."
The librarian looks at him and says, "This is a library, you idiot."
The man says, "Oh sorry!" and whispers, "I'll take a hamburger and fries."
The Meatball
WATAAAH!
2.What is Bruce Lee's favorite hamburger?
WHOPPAH!
3.Which hotel does Bruce Lee stay overnight?
HYAAAAATT!
You can explore hamburger fastfood reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hamburger fries dad jokes. There are also hamburger puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because hamburger is in the ground state.
Last night, I attempted to feed it a freshly grilled hamburger.
Just the patty, no bread.
The thing is, he wouldn't eat it.
As it turns out,
my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, Hun.
In the seedy part of town
Burrrrrrgers.
WHOPPAAAHHH
But at least we invented the hamburger
Now it's ground beef
Bartender says,"Sorry, we don't serve food here."
A ham-brrr-ger.
my 7yo claims she made it up herself.
The bartender looks up and says, "we don't serve food here."
Because the hamburger is in the ground state.
Kevin is woken up by his mother.
"Rise and shine, Kevin! Time to go to school!"
"But mom, I don't want to get up."
"No, you're getting up now, no excuses."
"Name me two good reasons for why I should get up now and go to school.."
"First of all: You're 54. And second of all, you're the principal!"
*Source: Hamburger Abendblatt issue #124*
And in the case of Pizza V Hamburger, the judge ruled in favor of the plantiff.
A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up, stretches, and pulls out a gun. He proceeds to shoot everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads "Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."
It's a little meteor.
you will feed him for a day. Lend a man a hamburger and he will gladly pay you Tuesday.
He called himself a hamburger helper.
Pickle it gently.
They had some beef
The sign reads as follows:
* Nachos $4
* Hamburger $3
* Hotdog $2
* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3
* Grilled Cheese $2
* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50
* Handjob $10
After he looks over the menu for a moment he asks the bartender, "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" "Why yes I am." replies the bartender seductively. Then says the man, "Wash your hands! I'd like a hamburger."
Meet Patty.
The bartender stares him down, and says *"We don't serve food here!"*
From the ground up.
To get better buns.
It depends if anyone is looking.
...and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger - 2.99
Cheeseburger - 3.99
Chicken Sandwich - 4.99
Hand Jobs - 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a sexy little smile. The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."
Apparently he only brought hamburger puns.
The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.
The waiter responds, I assure you it's not. In the morning he makes donuts.
The waitress comes up and says, "What'll ya have."
The first man says, I'll have a hamburger.
The waitress lifts one arm, pulls a patty out of her armpit, lifts the arm and pulls a bun out of the other armpit.
She turns to the second guy, "What'll you have?"
The second guy says, "I was thinking of having a hot dog but I've changed my mind."
Hamburger Helper
It was all laugh and giggles until we realised that the stutterer wanted a hamburger.
They seemed to lose interest after I cut the cow's throat.
Chuck, not you too!
One is ground beef and the other is browned grief.
Meat patty.
A co-whopperation.
Hamburger and fries, please.
They insist it is made completely from Hamburgers.
If you don't know the answer then I would like to take you to lunch.
You're on a roll!
Patty
They're both in bread.
The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food here."
"Roadside Assistance"
The librarian says, "This is a library."
The man apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a hamburger, please."
Way too Greecey.
Nowadays they've got these newfangled cameras everywhere.
Meat Patty
They always had beef between them.
Jane's friend took a bite of her hamburger.
vs.
Jane's friend took a bite of her colon.
But the bartender says, I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hamburger armpit jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working hamburger sandwich piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.