halts Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious halts puns

The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.

I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while being screwed.

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The Govenment made a recent announcement.....

.......that it is changing the national flag to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security whilst you're actually being fucked!!

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A young couple finish their first date...

...and are heading back to their hotel room. As the man is about to open the door, the woman halts him and says, "Look, I can tell how you make love just by the way you open that door."

She continued, "For instance, my last date thrust the key into the lock and barged the door open. That showed to me that he was rough when making love, and I don't like that."

She paused for a second to recollect her thoughts and then continued, "and the date before spent ten minutes poking around trying to find the lock, and that showed to me that he had no experience, and I don't like that either."

She then fixed her eyes onto the man and asked, "So how do you open the door?"

"Well," the man replied, "first I *lick the lock*!"

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The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

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The New National Symbol

The government today announced that it is changing its national symbol to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. It just doesn't get more accurate than that.

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So John goes on a ride in the forest with his horse and dog

His dog running alongside him, while he is sitting on the horse. But they're not going fast enough for John, so he gives the horse the ol' heel-in-the-side. To which the horse halts abruptly and exclaims" HEY, easy! How would you like to get kicked by me for once?"
John's face goes pale, he jumps off the horse and hauls ass into the woods, his dog right behind him. After a few minutes he gets tired and hides behind a boulder with his dog. John looks at the ground, trembling and says to himself "How the fuck did the horse just talk?"
His dog puts a paw on him and goes "Yeah, right? That scared me shitless back there!"

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Windows 10 now halts all hackers...

Even hackers can't figure out how to use Windows 10.

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A gay man is riding his motorcycle...

A gay man is riding his old rusty car, when the engine suddenly halts and wouldn't start. Naturally, he stops and starts waiting for help. Some time later, a truck stops by, driven by a both handsome and brutal man. "What's the matter?" - asks the truck driver. "I think the battery's dead." - "Alright, let's give your shit a push." - "Oh, okay. And then can we fix the car?"

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What are the best Halts puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Halts? Well, here are the best jokes about Halts to have fun with.

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