The Best 12 Halt Jokes

Following is our collection of Halt jokes which are very funny. There are some halt desist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these halt chauffeur puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Halt Jokes and Puns

My 93 year old grandfather FTW

We were at a family gathering and out of nowhere my 93 year old grandfather announces ''Well, now I have to sit down now when I pee..."

All conversation grinds to a halt and everyone looks at him.

"My doctor told me no more heavy lifting."

Stalin, Kruschev, and Brezhnev are riding a train when it suddenly grinds to a halt.

Stalin says, "I know what to do. We shoot the conductor, the ticket collector, and ten passengers at random. Then the train will run again."

"No, I have a better idea," says Kruchev. "We tell everyone on the train that true communism is just around the corner! Then the train will run again."

"Tovarishi, you're trying too hard," Brezhnev cuts in. "We simply close the curtains, lean back and have a vodka, and *pretend* the train is running!"

If Trump wins a second term he will halt all shredded cheese production.

He is going to make Americans grate again . . .

Halt joke, If Trump wins a second term he will halt all shredded cheese production.

A man was walking down a street in Moscow at night

A soviet soldier called out for the man to halt but the man started running, so the soldier shot him. The other soldier on duty asks the former, "Why'd you do that?"

"Why it's curfew," the soldier said.

"Well it's not curfew yet!" his partner said.

"I know- he's a friend of mine. I know where he lives and he couldn't have made it in time."

Before leaving for a battle, King Arthur puts a strong iron chastity belt on his wife Guinevere and entrusts the key to his most loyal knight, Eddie. Then King Arthur departs.

Five minutes into his journey, King Arthur hears Eddie screaming for him to stop. King Arthur signals his steed to halt and waits for Eddie to catch up.

"Eddie!" the king says, "What's the matter?"

"Your highness," says Eddie. "You gave me the wrong key."


A man in a taxi is shocked with the cabbie runs right through a red light...

He shouts "Hey, are you crazy? You just ran that light!"

The cabbie says, "Don't worry. My brother is a cabbie too and he does it all the time."

A few seconds later he runs another red light. The passenger is still nervous but decides that the cabbie knows what he is doing.

Then as they approached a green light, the cabbie slams on breaks and comes to a screeching halt.

"Are you crazy?", the man shouts, "That's a green light! Why did you stop?"

"My brother might be coming the other way."

Three engineers were driving down the road.

An electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. (Shut up, just go with it). Suddenly their car sputters to a halt.

The electrical engineer says it has to be a problem with the electric system.

The chemical engineer thinks it's a problem in the fuel system.

Then they both look at the Windows engineer... He just says, "Perhaps we should all get out and back in again"

Halt joke, Three engineers were driving down the road.

What do you call a Jamaican with a broken leg?

Usain Halt.

Rorschach Test

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office for his first appointment. After the initial interview, the shrink decides to ease the man into the process with a simple inkblot test. After a few minutes, however, the shrink calls a halt.

"I think its fairly clear at this point that we're dealing with an Oedipus Complex." says the shrink.

"*I'VE* got an Oedipus Complex?!?" the man bursts out, "*You're* the one with all these pictures of my parents having sex!"

A guy is out hunting...

He sees a bear and shoots at it. He misses, and suddenly slips and falls down the mountainside. His leg is caught in a bear trap, and the bear is coming right towards him. He cries out, "Lord, I know I've done some bad things in my life, but I promise to repent now if you make this bear a Christian!" The bear skids to a halt, drops to his knees, clasps his paws together and says, "O Lord, I thank you for the food I am about to receive!"

What brought the orgy to a screeching halt?

Friction.

You can explore halt prevent reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean halt engine dad jokes. There are also halt puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I don't think my girlfriend likes dry humping.

She's always grinding to a halt.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the halt freeze jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working halt cease piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes