Hallway Jokes
55 hallway jokes and hilarious hallway puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hallway that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hallway Short Jokes
Short hallway jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hallway humour may include short corridor jokes also.
- The chick I picked up wanted to play doctor So i sat her on a chair in the hallway and let her wait for 2 hours
- How many Jedi does it take to screw in a hallway lightbulb? None, because once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny.
- Want to know how to scare burglars off? First: Put pictures of a tiger all around your house.
Second: Put a cat litter tray in your hallway and take a dump in it. - Two physicists are walking down a hallway One says, "kilogrammetersquaredpersecondcubed"
The second responds, "Watt?" - Boss: Take this broom and go sweep the hallways! Employee: But I'm a college graduate!
Boss: Great! Then I should only have to explain this just once. - Last week, hubby wanted to spice things up a little, and suggested we play doctors and nurses..... .... so I strapped him to a trolley, put him in the hallway, and ignored him for 48 hours.
- A caterer was sprinting down the hallway with a pan of scrambled eggs. My first instinct repsonse: "I hope they like their eggs runny"
- There was a drug taking chemist in the hallway, really finding his way around a bra I guess he really knew his acids and bases.
- Lawyer to a man in hallway - Are you a witness, victim or defendant? Man - I'm the guy who did it.
- What did Whitney Houston say when asked which parts of public buildings are generally the most affectionate? Hallways love yooooouuuuu.
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Hallway One Liners
Which hallway one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hallway? I can suggest the ones about alleyway and stairway.
- What did Trump say to Biden in the hallway of the white house? Pardon me, please.
- Why do so many kids die in school shootings? They aren't allowed to run in the hallways.
- How often did the architect have to put long narrow paths in his blueprints? Hallways
- Why couldn't the dolphin turn around in a hallway Because he was driving a tractor
- What is a long room with many doors called? I'm not sure, I hallways forget
- What becomes packed between periods? School Hallways
- Why was the t**... flying down the school hallway? He was late for his next period.
Fun-Filled Hallway Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about hallway you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean staircase jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hallway pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How's your s**... life?
3 women are having a conversation about their s**... lives. The first woman has been married 1 year. "My husband and I have 'house s**...' because we do it anywhere in the house, any time." The second woman has been married 10 years. "We have 'bedroom s**...' which is only in the bedroom after the kids have gone to sleep." The third woman has been married 30 years. "My husband and I have 'hallway s**...'... We pass each other in the hallway and say 'screw you!'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three ladies meet up for a drink
Three ladies meet up for a drink once a week.
The first lady says: "The other night, when my boyfriend got in from work, I surprised him. I was standing in the hallway, wearing these tall leather boots, a corset, long black silk gloves, and lots of makeup. I looked him in the eye and said 'Hello there, big boy.' He grabbed me, flung me to the floor and we made love right there and then and it was AMAZING."
Next week they meet up again.
The second lady says to the first one: "I took a tip from you. The other night my fiance came home from work, and I was standing in the bedroom wearing high heels, a tiny skirt, a see-through top and heavy makeup. I said 'Hello there. Big Boy.' and he flung me on the bed and it was unbelievable! He was like a wild animal!"
The third lady, married for ten years and seeing things get a bit stale in the bedroom, decides she needs a piece of the action.
She dresses up in thigh high leather boots, a tiny black skirt, a cleavage-tastic corset, long black gloves and she puts on the sluttiest makeup job in the history of s**... makeup jobs. She waits in the kitchen, thinking that when hubby gets home he may do something really sordid like make love to her right there on the kitchen table.
Sure enough, he comes home and walks into the kitchen.
She looks him in the eye and says: "Hello there. Big Boy."
He looks back at her and says: "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"
Dr joke I just made up
A young medical intern was standing in a hospital hallway, looking flustered whilst try to examine a patients' CAT scan. Seeing his confusion, an older doctor came to see what the problem was. He saw that the intern was reading the scan upside down, and turned it around for him. Seeing that the young intern was embarrassed by his mistake, the doctor said, "don't feel embarrassed, lad, there's more than one way to skim a CAT."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Five Stages of s**...
1st is Smurf s**.... This is where you do it until you're both blue in
the face.
2nd is kitchen s**.... This is the honeymoon phase where you do it in
every room of the house, including the kitchen.
3rd is bedroom s**.... This is after you've been married for a while,
maybe have a couple of kids, so you do it in the bedroom.
4th is hallway s**.... This is where you pass one another in the hallway
and say, "Screw you".
The final stage is courtroom s**.... This is where you go to court and
your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.
One night, a man got a little drunk...
One night, a man went to a bar. He got a little bit tipsy (he was smashed) and realized that he desperately had to use the bathroom. He walked up to the women at the bar and slurred out the words, "Excuse me, where is your nearest restroom."
The women advised him, "It's right down that hall to the left."
The man stumbled down the hallway, and in his drunk position, took a right rather than a left. Sitting inside of the room he had opened was a great, golden toilet. So, he did his business in it.
The next day when he woke up, he could only remember one thing: That toilet was so comfortable! So, he decided: he would go back to that bar and he would buy that solid gold toilet today!
He walked into the bar and talked to a different bartender, "Excuse me sir: Yesterday, I came in here and I used the most comfortable, solid gold toilet I have ever sat on! I demand to buy it off of you!
The bartender chuckled and yelled to the back hall: "Hey Charlie, I found that guy that took a dump in your tuba!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This joke is offensive to feminists.
What do you do when you come across a feminist in the back hallway of a club?
Whatever you do, definitely do not wipe it off for her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Erika hates hypocrisy..
Little Erika gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As she passes her parents' bedroom she peeks in through the keyhole. She watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway muttering to herself, "And she gets mad at me for s**... my thumb . "
I psych student posted this joke on Facebook and I don't get it, can someone explain?
Two psychotherapists pass each other in the hallway. The first says to the second, "Hello!"
The second smiles back nervously and half nods his head. When he is comfortably out of earshot, he mumbles, "God, I wonder what *that* was all about?"
Hanging in the hallway at a high school are...
...the basketball team pictures from the past decades. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "92-93," "93-94," "94-95," etc.
One day the principal spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos.
Turning to the principal, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician are walking down a hallway...
when they notice with alarm that a fire has broken out in a nearby lab.
The physicist immediately shouts "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."
The chemist then cries "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."
The statistician looks around, thinks for a minute, then sets the rest of the building on fire.
The physicist and the chemist look on in horror and yell, "what are you doing?!"
The statistician replies "getting a bigger sample size".
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying at a hotel.
The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trashcan from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hall, for it has reignited. He finds a fire hose, and, after calculating velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc., he extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Satisfied, he goes to bed. Even later, the mathematician wakes up to the smell of smoke. He goes into the hall and sees the fire and hose. He thinks for a moment, then exclaims, "Ah! A solution exists!", and then goes back to bed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
During World War 2, n**... invade a convent.
They yelled: " We are going to r**... every nun in this convent!" Mother Superior pleaded with the n**...: " You can r**... us all you want, but at the end of the hallway there is a room with a 100 year old nun in it. She is very sick and doesn't have long. Please leave her be."
All of a sudden the door at the end of the hall opens, and the old nun steps out yelling: "THE WAR IS ON FOR EVERYBODY!"
Why was the lonely instantiated object always asked to sit in the hallway at school?
Because only friends were allowed to access the class.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's three feet tall and can't turn around in a hallway?
A toddler with a harpoon in it's t**....
Wife and I were watching a re-run of ALF.
There's a kid in the oncology ward and a couple of people talking in the hallway outside his room. One says to the other "What do you tell a kid who won't live until Christmas?"
My wife says "Shop early!"
Yep, that's why I married her.
A man is walking down a hallway when he accidentally bumps into a woman with a lazy eye...
"Hey! Why don't you watch where you're going!" She exclaims. The man replies, "Why don't you go where you're watching?"
A guys dies and goes to heaven...
St. Peter is giving the guy a tour. They walk down a huge hallway filled with clocks.
"What are all these clocks for" the guy asked.
"Every person who has ever lived has a clock and every time they lie it ticks 1 second" St peter says
"So where is george washingtons clocks at the guy asked." St. peter points behind them and says
"It has only ever ticked 3 seconds." The guys then asked "where is Abraham Lincolns clock at." St peters points in front of them and says "it has never ticked a single second." The guy then asked "where Donald Trumps clock at" st peters say "oh, it is in jesus's office he is using it as a ceiling fan."
There's a woman named Jean who works in my lab and everyday she comes in stinking of body odor.
I don't really speak to her much and rarely say hello, usually if I pass her in the hallway I just say "Hi Jean"
I was on the wrong side of the hallway at Harvard Law School...
So I asked for permission to cross
My Mam was an interior decorator and me Dad was a gynecologist
So I can paint your hallway through your letterbox
Guy walks into a doctor's office...
Doc, I've made up my mind, thought it over. I want to be castrated!
Doctor stares at him in disbelief,
Are you sure? That is no....
The guy interrupts,
Doc, I'm 100% sure! Let's do it today!
Later, after the procedure, the guy walks out of the hospital with a limp. In the hallway, he meets another man walking with a similar limp.
Just got castrated too, huh? The guy asks. No, i had a circumcision replied the man.
Circum...Oohhh...that's what it's called!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when two Canadians are trying to pass each other in a narrow hallway?
A sorry state of affairs.
A woman dies and goes to Heaven
There she is found by St Peter and is escorted to where she'll reside for the rest of her days. As they walk through Heaven,they go through a giant hallway full of clocks. "What are these clocks on the wall",she asks St Peter. "Every man and woman on earth has a personal clock and everytime he or she commits a sin,the clock ticks". "Ohhh...and where's my husband's clock?" she asks."Ahh,we've been using this one in Jesus' office as an air fan"
A catholic man dies and goes to Heaven, there he learns that "lie clocks" exist for all humans...
A man is greeted by St. Peter, he quickly notices there are many objects that look like clocks attached to the walls.
St. Peter explains that every time a person tells a lie, the hand on their clocks spins just a little faster.
As he walks through the hallway, he sees mother Teresa's clock, which isn't spinning at all. He then sees Abraham Lincolns clock, and notices it is just slightly spinning. He asks, "just out of curiosity, where is Donald Trump's clock?"
St Peter replies "Oh its not here, Jesus uses it as a fan in his office."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The rich lady comes home after a day of shopping,
when she stumbles on one of her many servants in the hallway. She looks at him head to toe, and demands:
\- Come here.
The servant, heads down, obeys.
\- Take off my jacket.
Hands shaking, he obliges.
\- Now... Take off my dress.
Slowly, he does so.
\- Hm... Now take off my socks and my garter belt.
He does so, not saying a word.
\- Now... My bra and my p**...!
Looking down and shaking, he obeys.
\- Now, if I get you wearing my clothes ever again, I will fire you once and for all, do you understand?!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette, and a black-haired girl are walking down their high school hallway
when they come across a genie's lamp. The black-haired girl rubs it, and a genie comes out. He tells them that he'll give each of them three wishes if they say something true about themselves. If not, they'll go "p**...", and die.
So the black-haired girl squeals, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in school!"
\*p**...\*
The brunette pipes up, "I think I'm one of the smartest girls in school."
\*p**...\*
And then the blond says, "I think--" \*p**...\*
A hot girl walked up to me in the hallway and said Excuse me sir, I'm really thirsty
I probably wouldn't have gotten arrested if I had noticed I was standing in front of a water fountain
The president is walking down a narrow hallway
Mitch McConnell was walking down the hallway in the same direction but, being half-tortoise, was moving far slower.
Trump pushes past him, shouting, "Get outta my way!"
McConnell says, "Pardon me, Mr. President."
Trump stops and turns around. "I didn't know you worked on my campaign. What did they get you for?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A nurse, who works in the ER, arrives for her shift
she spots a little boy, who is sitting in the hallway, crying his eyes out.
She asks him: "What happend? Can I help you?"
Boy: "My mother just died from a traffic accident."
Nurse: " Iam so sorry, shall I get you a priest?"
Boy: "No, thank you, Iam not in the mood for s**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are 3 phases of s**... in a marriage.
1. First 5 years - House s**... (Anytime / Anywhere)
2. 5 to 15 years - Bedroom s**... (only in the bedroom)
3. 15 years plus - Hallway s**... (You walk past your partner in the hallway and say 'Fuck you')
A mother decides to do something about her noisy children.
A mother is raising several children. The problem is, at least one of them is always being loud and the others want things quiet.
She has two rooms at the end of the hallway of her house; one on the left side and one on the right side. She decides to designate one room for being noisy, and the other for complete quiet.
Which room can her children be noisy in?
.
.
.
.
.
The left room, because they have the right to remain silent.
A woman went to the doctor's office and seen by one of the new young doctors.
After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
3 people try to escape a mental institution
They decide to kill the three guards and leave. One guard is in the room with them, another in the hallway, and another guarding the gate. They kill the one in the room, kill the one in the hallway, and then make their way down to the main gate. When they arrive at the main gate, they find out the guard has the day off. They walk back in, saying "our plan failed."
A woman bursts out of the examining room, screaming after her doctor tells her she is pregnant
The director of the clinic stops her and asks what the problem is. She tells him what happened and another doctor has her sit down and relax in another room while he marches down the hallway to where the woman's doctor had informed her of the pregnancy.
What is wrong with you? Mrs. Miller is 60 years old, has six grown children and nine grandchildren - and you tell her she's pregnant?
The doctor continues to write his notes and without looking up at his colleague says, tell me, does she still have the hiccups?
Two drunks are in a bar
First one says to the other: do you know they have golden toilets here?
Second drunk says: no way! You're drunk and making stuff up.
Drunk 1: I swear, go check it out. End of the hallway, second door on the left.
Drunk 2 comes back from checking it out and says: I knew you were pulling my leg. It's just a regular toilet.
Drunk 1: hey bartender, tell this guy I'm not making it up. I was here yesterday and I swear to god you had a golden toilet.
Bartender talking to his boss at the other end of the bar: hey boss, I think I found the guy who took a dump in your tuba.
OP. Got kicked off an electrical job today.
Lady wanted me to check the light fixture in her bedroom. I set up my ladder under the fixture and removed the cover, then asked if she could turn on the switch at the door. Being out in hallway, she said, Give me a sec. I smiled and told her I'd give her all the 'secs' she wanted.
The doctors took me away to the surgery room, where they'd be transforming me into a midget.
"I will be thinking of you," cried my wife down the hallway.
I turned around and said, "Don't worry - I'll be with you shortly."
