Hallway Jokes
57 hallway jokes and hilarious hallway puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hallway that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hallway Short Jokes
Short hallway jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hallway humour may include short corridor jokes also.
- The chick I picked up wanted to play doctor So i sat her on a chair in the hallway and let her wait for 2 hours
- How many Jedi does it take to screw in a hallway lightbulb? None, because once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny.
- Want to know how to scare burglars off? First: Put pictures of a tiger all around your house.
Second: Put a cat litter tray in your hallway and take a dump in it. - This joke is offensive to feminists. What do you do when you come across a feminist in the back hallway of a club?
Whatever you do, definitely do not wipe it off for her. - Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. On hat said to the other: you stay here; I'll go on a head.
- What's black, white, and red all over and can't turn around in a narrow hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.
- Two physicists are walking down a hallway One says, "kilogrammetersquaredpersecondcubed"
The second responds, "Watt?" - Paul Manafort bumps into Trump walking down a hallway. Paul Manafort says "oops, pardon me".
Trump says "soon". - Boss: Take this broom and go sweep the hallways! Employee: But I'm a college graduate!
Boss: Great! Then I should only have to explain this just once. - Last week, hubby wanted to spice things up a little, and suggested we play doctors and nurses..... .... so I strapped him to a trolley, put him in the hallway, and ignored him for 48 hours.
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Hallway One Liners
Which hallway one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hallway? I can suggest the ones about halls and alleyway.
- What did Trump say to Biden in the hallway of the white house? Pardon me, please.
- Why do so many kids die in school shootings? They aren't allowed to run in the hallways.
- How often did the architect have to put long narrow paths in his blueprints? Hallways
- Why couldn't the dolphin turn around in a hallway Because he was driving a tractor
- What is a long room with many doors called? I'm not sure, I hallways forget
- What becomes packed between periods? School Hallways
- Yo Mama's so loose it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
- Why did the pervert like to watch girls in their entrance hallways? He was a foyer.
- Why was the t**... flying down the school hallway? He was late for his next period.
Fun-Filled Hallway Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about hallway you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stairway jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hallway pranks.
How's your s**... life?
3 women are having a conversation about their s**... lives. The first woman has been married 1 year. "My husband and I have 'house s**...' because we do it anywhere in the house, any time." The second woman has been married 10 years. "We have 'bedroom s**...' which is only in the bedroom after the kids have gone to sleep." The third woman has been married 30 years. "My husband and I have 'hallway s**...'... We pass each other in the hallway and say 'screw you!'"
Three ladies meet up for a drink
Three ladies meet up for a drink once a week.
The first lady says: "The other night, when my boyfriend got in from work, I surprised him. I was standing in the hallway, wearing these tall leather boots, a corset, long black silk gloves, and lots of makeup. I looked him in the eye and said 'Hello there, big boy.' He grabbed me, flung me to the floor and we made love right there and then and it was AMAZING."
Next week they meet up again.
The second lady says to the first one: "I took a tip from you. The other night my fiance came home from work, and I was standing in the bedroom wearing high heels, a tiny skirt, a see-through top and heavy makeup. I said 'Hello there. Big Boy.' and he flung me on the bed and it was unbelievable! He was like a wild animal!"
The third lady, married for ten years and seeing things get a bit stale in the bedroom, decides she needs a piece of the action.
She dresses up in thigh high leather boots, a tiny black skirt, a cleavage-tastic corset, long black gloves and she puts on the sluttiest makeup job in the history of s**... makeup jobs. She waits in the kitchen, thinking that when hubby gets home he may do something really sordid like make love to her right there on the kitchen table.
Sure enough, he comes home and walks into the kitchen.
She looks him in the eye and says: "Hello there. Big Boy."
He looks back at her and says: "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"
Dr joke I just made up
A young medical intern was standing in a hospital hallway, looking flustered whilst try to examine a patients' CAT scan. Seeing his confusion, an older doctor came to see what the problem was. He saw that the intern was reading the scan upside down, and turned it around for him. Seeing that the young intern was embarrassed by his mistake, the doctor said, "don't feel embarrassed, lad, there's more than one way to skim a CAT."
Little Erika hates hypocrisy..
Little Erika gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As she passes her parents' bedroom she peeks in through the keyhole. She watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway muttering to herself, "And she gets mad at me for s**... my thumb . "
I psych student posted this joke on Facebook and I don't get it, can someone explain?
Two psychotherapists pass each other in the hallway. The first says to the second, "Hello!"
The second smiles back nervously and half nods his head. When he is comfortably out of earshot, he mumbles, "God, I wonder what *that* was all about?"
Hanging in the hallway at a high school are...
...the basketball team pictures from the past decades. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "92-93," "93-94," "94-95," etc.
One day the principal spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos.
Turning to the principal, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
A chemist and a biologist were talking in the hallway
Biologist: "Want to hear a joke?"
Chemist: "Sure."
Biologist: "Sodium sodium sodium sodium ..."
Chemist: "Stop, stop, stop. Don't bring that pH 6 garbage in here. That's for amateurs. What you need is a pH 11 and build off it."
Biologist: "Alright alright. I've got one you'll take a lichen to. And this one is all about that sodium hydroxide."
Chemist: "I'm about to get trolled, aren't I?"
Biologist: "What do you call a feline who watches its prey constantly?"
Chemist: "I don't know, what?"
Biologist: "Cation you"
During World War 2, n**... invade a convent.
They yelled: " We are going to r**... every nun in this convent!" Mother Superior pleaded with the n**...: " You can r**... us all you want, but at the end of the hallway there is a room with a 100 year old nun in it. She is very sick and doesn't have long. Please leave her be."
All of a sudden the door at the end of the hall opens, and the old nun steps out yelling: "THE WAR IS ON FOR EVERYBODY!"
Why was the lonely instantiated object always asked to sit in the hallway at school?
Because only friends were allowed to access the class.
What's three feet tall and can't turn around in a hallway?
A toddler with a harpoon in it's t**....
Nurse walking down a hallway reaches into her pocket and pulls out a r**... thermometer...
She says, "Great, some a**...'s got my pen."
'There's good news and bad news', the doctor said to the patient.
Doctor: 'The bad news is that both your legs have to be amputated.'
The patient starts crying and asks about the good news.
Doctor: 'There's someone in the hallway who wants to buy your shoes.'
Wife and I were watching a re-run of ALF.
There's a kid in the oncology ward and a couple of people talking in the hallway outside his room. One says to the other "What do you tell a kid who won't live until Christmas?"
My wife says "Shop early!"
Yep, that's why I married her.
A man is walking down a hallway when he accidentally bumps into a woman with a lazy eye...
"Hey! Why don't you watch where you're going!" She exclaims. The man replies, "Why don't you go where you're watching?"
There's a woman named Jean who works in my lab and everyday she comes in stinking of body odor.
I don't really speak to her much and rarely say hello, usually if I pass her in the hallway I just say "Hi Jean"
Lawyer to a man in hallway - Are you a witness, victim or defendant?
Man - I'm the guy who did it.
I was on the wrong side of the hallway at Harvard Law School...
So I asked for permission to cross
My Mam was an interior decorator and me Dad was a gynecologist
So I can paint your hallway through your letterbox
What do you get when two Canadians are trying to pass each other in a narrow hallway?
A sorry state of affairs.
There was a drug taking chemist in the hallway, really finding his way around a bra
I guess he really knew his acids and bases.
A woman dies and goes to Heaven
There she is found by St Peter and is escorted to where she'll reside for the rest of her days. As they walk through Heaven,they go through a giant hallway full of clocks. "What are these clocks on the wall",she asks St Peter. "Every man and woman on earth has a personal clock and everytime he or she commits a sin,the clock ticks". "Ohhh...and where's my husband's clock?" she asks."Ahh,we've been using this one in Jesus' office as an air fan"
The mathematician awakens, and finds another fire in the hallway.
He looks out the door, then goes back to bed. The house ends up burning down, but the physicist and engineer manages to save the mathematician. When asked why he didn't put out the fire, he says: "I saw the fire, I saw the extinguisher, the solution was trivial."
A caterer was sprinting down the hallway with a pan of scrambled eggs. My first instinct repsonse:
"I hope they like their eggs runny"
A hot girl walked up to me in the hallway and said Excuse me sir, I'm really thirsty
I probably wouldn't have gotten arrested if I had noticed I was standing in front of a water fountain
The president is walking down a narrow hallway
Mitch McConnell was walking down the hallway in the same direction but, being half-tortoise, was moving far slower.
Trump pushes past him, shouting, "Get outta my way!"
McConnell says, "Pardon me, Mr. President."
Trump stops and turns around. "I didn't know you worked on my campaign. What did they get you for?"
A nurse, who works in the ER, arrives for her shift
she spots a little boy, who is sitting in the hallway, crying his eyes out.
She asks him: "What happend? Can I help you?"
Boy: "My mother just died from a traffic accident."
Nurse: " Iam so sorry, shall I get you a priest?"
Boy: "No, thank you, Iam not in the mood for s**...."
A Guy Walks into a Doctor's Office...
Doc, I've made up my mind, I've thought it over. I want to be castrated!
Doctor stares at him in disbelief,
Are you sure? That is no....
The guy interrupts,
Doc, I'm 100% sure! Let's do it today!
Later, after the procedure, the guy walks out of the hospital with a limp. In the hallway, he meets another man walking with a similar limp.
Just got castrated too, huh? The guy asks. No, i had a circumcision replied the man.
Circum...Oohhh...so that's what it's called!
There are 3 phases of s**... in a marriage.
1. First 5 years - House s**... (Anytime / Anywhere)
2. 5 to 15 years - Bedroom s**... (only in the bedroom)
3. 15 years plus - Hallway s**... (You walk past your partner in the hallway and say 'Fuck you')
A mother decides to do something about her noisy children.
A mother is raising several children. The problem is, at least one of them is always being loud and the others want things quiet.
She has two rooms at the end of the hallway of her house; one on the left side and one on the right side. She decides to designate one room for being noisy, and the other for complete quiet.
Which room can her children be noisy in?
.
.
.
.
.
The left room, because they have the right to remain silent.
A woman went to the doctor's office and seen by one of the new young doctors.
After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
3 people try to escape a mental institution
They decide to kill the three guards and leave. One guard is in the room with them, another in the hallway, and another guarding the gate. They kill the one in the room, kill the one in the hallway, and then make their way down to the main gate. When they arrive at the main gate, they find out the guard has the day off. They walk back in, saying "our plan failed."
A woman bursts out of the examining room, screaming after her doctor tells her she is pregnant
The director of the clinic stops her and asks what the problem is. She tells him what happened and another doctor has her sit down and relax in another room while he marches down the hallway to where the woman's doctor had informed her of the pregnancy.
What is wrong with you? Mrs. Miller is 60 years old, has six grown children and nine grandchildren - and you tell her she's pregnant?
The doctor continues to write his notes and without looking up at his colleague says, tell me, does she still have the hiccups?
Two drunks are in a bar
First one says to the other: do you know they have golden toilets here?
Second drunk says: no way! You're drunk and making stuff up.
Drunk 1: I swear, go check it out. End of the hallway, second door on the left.
Drunk 2 comes back from checking it out and says: I knew you were pulling my leg. It's just a regular toilet.
Drunk 1: hey bartender, tell this guy I'm not making it up. I was here yesterday and I swear to god you had a golden toilet.
Bartender talking to his boss at the other end of the bar: hey boss, I think I found the guy who took a dump in your tuba.
OP. Got kicked off an electrical job today.
Lady wanted me to check the light fixture in her bedroom. I set up my ladder under the fixture and removed the cover, then asked if she could turn on the switch at the door. Being out in hallway, she said, Give me a sec. I smiled and told her I'd give her all the 'secs' she wanted.
The doctors took me away to the surgery room, where they'd be transforming me into a midget.
"I will be thinking of you," cried my wife down the hallway.
I turned around and said, "Don't worry - I'll be with you shortly."
A doctor comes to check up on a hospice patient who's taken a turn for the worse.
They do some tests and look at some charts, then unlock the wheels on the bed and roll it into the hallway. "We're transferring you to the East Wing."
"What's the East Wing?" asks the patient.
"The morgue." replies the doctor. The patient exclaims, "The morgue?! .. but I'm not dead yet!"
"It's a long hallway."
