Halloween Candy Jokes
48 halloween candy jokes and hilarious halloween candy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about halloween candy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Halloween Candy Short Jokes
Short halloween candy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The halloween candy humour may include short candy halloween jokes also.
- I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from. He said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
- I always get Halloween and Valentine's Day confused. They're both about candy and being something you're not.
- I swapped the wrappers around on my wife's Halloween candy. She didn't appreciate the joke at all. Now she's got her Snickers in a Twix over it.
- Thank god for dollar shave club Now I can afford to put razors in all the Halloween candy.
- It was a tough Halloween this year.. I staked 5 vampires, beheaded 3 zombies and exorcised 8 ghosts.
Then the wife came out screaming something about
"No, no you give them candy!!!" - Driving I was out driving on Halloween and I hit a cat, I think it was dressed like a cat. It could have been a piñata for all I know because there was candy everywhere.
- There are three certainties in life: Death, taxes, and Halloween candy assortments will always include one candy that ruins the bag.
- Do we even need Halloween anymore? I've been wearing a mask and eating candy for 14 months...
- With a wheelchair, everyday is Halloween! Children are scared of you, adults try to guess what you are, and the elderly just give you candy!
Paraphrased from the wonderful Zach Anner - I didn't have any candy at Halloween... So I gave out my antidepressants.
It made the kids happy, but it was a real downer for me.
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Halloween Candy One Liners
Which halloween candy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with halloween candy? I can suggest the ones about halloween trick or treat and candy.
- How does a feminist ask for Halloween candies? Trigger Treat.
- It's so hot this summer… The Halloween candy at Walmart is starting to melt.
- I don't want your candy, what I really want is your number.
- Why is halloween candy so similar to anti-vax kids? Because both dont last very long
- I am so ugly. On Halloween, I open the front door, kids give me candy.
- I love getting Halloween candy... It makes me Snicker(s).
- What candy did Elon Musk give kids for Halloween? Rockets.
- On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
- I got rid of all the leftover Halloween candy in the house It was delicious
- What is an engineer's favorite Halloween candy? Dork chocolate
- Your momma's so ugly... ... that on Halloween, the kids give their candy to *her*!
- How did the boy pee on his Halloween candy? With his hallow wiener
Playful Halloween Candy Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about halloween candy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trick treat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make halloween candy pranks.
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
Side chicks are getting leftover Halloween candy for Valentine's Day
Why'd you give me ghost shaped candy?
Cuz you my BOO
I love Halloween...
It's the only time of the year that I can lure young children in with candy without using my van.
The definition of Halloween:
Halloween: the holiday when children vandalize your yard with toilet paper, then are rewarded with candy the next day.
I love giving kisses to little children on Halloween..
I don't know but they love that candy
I'm going as president Obama for Halloween this year.
I'll tell you you're getting different candy, but it will be the same candy from last year.
Halloween is coming up. This is the best time to teach your kids about taxes and social security...
Take away 30% of their Halloween candy and promise them you'll give part of it back in 70 years!
Had to go to work looking scruffy today...
My s**... kid didn't get any razorblades in his Halloween candy.
A: How criminal are you?
B: you know those candy bowls on halloween, where you are only allowed to take one...?
A: Uh yes??
B: I killed someone
If I had a grand for the amount of candy bars I got during this Halloween I'd have...
100 grand
Why are parents so afraid of strangers drugging Halloween candy?
Nobody gives drugs away for free.
Halloween
I'm going to be brett kavanaugh for Halloween so even the houses that don't have candy can give me candy.
Because I can't take no for an answer
Why did young Elon dressed as a Rocket for the Halloween?
So he can get all the Mars Candy
It's going to be dangerous to trick-or-treat this Halloween due to the coronavirus pandemic.
The only way you're getting candy from a stranger this year is by putting on a mask and going to the grocery store.
the day after halloween, a trick or treater knocked on my door.....
he was dressed in just red tights and a red spandex shirt, red sneakers, red hat.
i said to him, "sorry little buddy, halloween is over, i dont have anything for you today...what are you supposed to be anyway>?"
he said "im a period, sorry im late..scared ya didnt i?"
needless to say he got a handfull of candy from one of my kids bags. how could you not reward that creativity?
Halloween candy
Halloween was over. All the trick or treaters came and went. Some got candies. Some got confused when we said "trick" and sprayed them with water.
A couple of hours later while we were taking the candy bag inside, a 12 year old came dressed in all red.
Naturally, I told him that Halloween was over and we all wanted to go to sleep now.
Instead, he turned to my girlfriend who was helping me and said. "Im your period. Sorry, I'm late."
My man got the remaining candies.
