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Hallow Jokes

95 hallow jokes and hilarious hallow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hallow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Hallow Short Jokes

Short hallow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hallow humour may include short hollow jokes also.

  1. A skeleton walks in to a pub... [Happy Hallowe'en!] A skeleton walks in to a pub and says "Bring me a beer and a mop."
  2. I have my wife to thank for this one: Why can't witches get pregnant? Because their husbands have hallow-weenies!
  3. What did the Pope say to the heretic who successfully lobbied to be buried on hallowed ground? "What we have here is a failure to excommunicate!"
  4. My friends and I were arguing about which of the Deathly Hallows was best: Cloak, Elder Wand or Resurrection Stone. Upvote for invisibility.
  5. And in the night we'll wish this never ends, we'll wish this never ends. Happy hallows eve everyone.
  6. Why couldn't the man get his wife pregnant on October 31st? Because he had a hallow-w**....

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Hallow One Liners

Which hallow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hallow? I can suggest the ones about spook and hock.

  1. What did the christian say to the ladies at the gym? Hallowed be thy gains
  2. What does Barbie like to do on hallowe'en? Pump ken
  3. What is God's name? Hallow....hallowed be thy name....
  4. Why do people always get Christmas and Hallowe'en mixed up? Because OCT 31 == DEC 25
  5. How did the boy pee on his Halloween candy? With his hallow wiener
  6. Why couldn't the boy ghost get the girl ghost pregnant? Because he had a hallow-w**....
  7. How do r**... celebrate Hallowe'en? They pumpkin

Hallow joke, How do r**... celebrate Hallowe'en?

Howlingly Hilarious Hallow Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about hallow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean holey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hallow pranks.

Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
A: Wrap music!

A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "

Trick or treat?"
I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?"
He said, "A werewolf."
I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on."
He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"

What's a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant? Spare ribs.

What is a vampires favourite type of ship? A blood vessel.

What is Dracula's favorite fruit? A nectarine.

What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream.

What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.

What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray!

[Halloween party]

Me: Nice costume! What are you?
Basic Girl: I am DECEASED!

For Halloween I've got a job making plastic dracula

There's only two of us working here so I have to make every second count.

Halloween was last month?

Feels like it was yesterday

A Halloween joke for you.

Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He walked up to a house and said "trick or treat". The little old lady just gushed over his costume. She says to Johnny, "What a cute costume, but let me ask you....Where are your buccaneers?" Little Johnny says back, "They're under my buckin hat lady."

This Halloween on the East Coast

I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween.
Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane.

I know what I'm being for Halloween...

Drunk.

Halloween is for dressing up as something you're not.

That's why most girls go as something s**....

Last Halloween

Last Halloween, I went to a costume party. I spot a guy dressed in a monkey costume with a jar of peanut butter in one hand and a chocolate bar in the other. I asked him what he was dressed as, and he replied, "Me? I am a Reese's Monkey."

A Halloween Limerick

A lady vampire named Mable
Had a period that was awfully stable.
So once a full moon
She took out her spoon
And drank herself under the table.

How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?

pumpkin

Halloween Pirate Joke

Little Johnny dressed up as a pirate. He rang the first door bell and a woman answered. "Hello!" she said. "What are you dressed up as?" Johnny replies (with his speech impediment), "A birate." "A what?" asked the woman. "A BIRATE!" said Johnny. The woman replied, "Oh, you mean a pirate. Well tell me Mr. Pirate, where are your bucannears?" Johnny looked at her weirdly and said, "They're on my buckin' HEAD!"

Why is Halloween a h**...'s favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin.
I'll see myself out...

Best Halloween Party Ever

An advertisement for a Halloween party featuring
Zombie Japanese Chefs and street entertainers from the spirit world…
you would be treated to an evening of:
the Woking Dead and Ghost Buskers.

Halloween costume...

Guy 1 at Halloween party: Hey look, Steve's wife dressed up like Wonder Woman.
Guy 2 at Halloween party: Yeah, it makes you wonder if she's a woman.

HALLOWEEN JOKE: Why don't witches ever have babies?

Because warlocks have hollow weenies!

Halloween Joke

This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he's just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.
The host says to him, Dude, this is a Halloween party! You're supposed to be wearing a costume?
The guy replies, I am wearing a costume! I'm a snail!
You're a snail?
Yeah, I'm a snail, says the guy. Then he points to his girlfriend and says, This is Michelle.

On Halloween I like to go to the store and buy apples and razorblades just to see the look on the clerk's face.

This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around.

I was a dictator.

For Halloween this year, I went as Julian Assange

And stayed home.

My Halloween costume this year:

I'm gonna get drunk and make a space suit out of Bud Light boxes. When people ask who I'm supposed to be, I'll respond, "I'm Buzzed Lightbeer!"

I went to a Halloween party where everyone was dressed like a sore thumb

Not me, no, I stuck out like a vicar.

For Halloween, my neighbor put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow. And it's terrifying my daughter.

I guess she is claw-straw-phobic...

For Halloween, our daughter is dressing up as joke telling jack-o'-lantern.

She's our little pun-kin.

Halloween is coming up. This is the best time to teach your kids about taxes and social security...

Take away 30% of their Halloween candy and promise them you'll give part of it back in 70 years!

For halloween I'm dressing up as a plate.

Girls love to do dishes.

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken, and hooked up with a girl dressed as an egg. Things happened but in the end, we answered a life-long question...

The chicken came first.

For my next Halloween costume I'll need to physically disappear out of existence...

I'll be the wage gap.

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered

The chicken

For Halloween I'm going to dress my dog up as a famous pope.

I was thinking Pope John Paw.

I went to a Halloween party and saw two people wrapped in a barcode.

I asked them " Are you two an item?"

On Halloween, a little boy dressed as a pirate.

He went up to a house and rang the doorbell. A man answered and said, "Well I'll be, a pirate! But where are your buccaneers?
The little boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

What are you going to be for Halloween?

Working.

Halloween jokes

What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Boo boos.
Whay do you call wood that's scared?
Petrified.

Halloween trick or treat

I remember a story from last year. I was sat in my living room when I heard a small knock at the door. As I opened the door there was a little boy dressed as the Predator, with his dad. I asked "and who are you meant to be?" kneeling down to give him a sweet, "a child Predator" his dad responds. "What a coincidence" I thought.

Which Halloween costume has the hardest time getting to third base?

The Headless horseman

This Halloween I decided to go as a harp. As I walked into the party, a gentleman asked, "what are you supposed to be?"

"A harp", I replied.
"No, no. You're much too small to be a harp" he protested.
So I asked, "are you calling me a lyre?"

Went to a Halloween party dressed as myself...

Nobody knew who I was.

halloween

When I told my wife to use a vacuum instead
of a broom the witch flew of the handle.

This halloween, I will dress up as my father.

Too bad nobody will get to see my costume

I'm going to the Halloween party at my office today as President Hillary Clinton

I'm not going to show up.

This Halloween I'm going as a s**... accountant

You know, it's the thot that counts

I came up with the best Halloween costume!

A disapointment

For Halloween, I'm dressing up as a

nudist.

I can't believe people's Halloween decorations are still up...

Halloween is 364 days away, guys

When Halloween is over

And you see the girl you got head from is still dressed up as a guy.

On Halloween, a werewolf went out dressed as a Klingon, but got lost

He's a Wear-Worf Where-Wolf

For Halloween we dressed up as almonds.

Everyone could tell we were nuts.

Next Halloween I'm going dressed as a prehistoric flying reptile.

It'll be pterofying.

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a harp

The host asked me: What are you?
Me: Oh, I'm dressed as a harp.
Host: Your costume is too short to be a harp
Me: Are you calling me a lyre?

For a Halloween party I dressed up as a piece of bread

couldn't keep the birds away from me ;)

On Halloween I give young kids little boxes of raisins.

I've been accused of statutory grape.

Last Halloween, Schwarzenegger, while carrying a piano over his shoulders, throws me an o**....

"What's this for?" I say.
He replies, "I'll be Bach.
And you be Beethoven."

Last Halloween i dressed up as Julius Caesar, and my friends ditched me

Talk about getting stabbed in the back

Why is halloween candy so similar to anti-vax kids?

Because both dont last very long

On Halloween don't wear a dinosaur costume in bad neighborhoods.

You'll get Jurasskicked.

For Halloween I was going to dress up as the rising Covid cases

But that doesn't seem to scare anyone

This Halloween, I waited all day for my friend to meet me at the play park

What kind of friend says Let's go see Saw and doesn't turn up?

I always get Halloween and Valentine's Day confused.

They're both about candy and being something you're not.

Halloween trick or treaters knocked my door, dressed as Gloria Gaynor

At first I was afraid, I was petrified...

Last Halloween I was driving my son around and we ran into a fire hydrant.

Probably the worst costume I've ever seen.

A Halloween costume idea

A nurse walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Are you coming to our big Halloween party?" the bartender asks. "Yes, I've already planned my costume. I'm going to come as a horrible monster made entirely out of blood," the nurse says. "I'm going to be a hemogoblin."

This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks.

One almost caught our christmas decoration on fire.

halloween joke

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Ah, October! Almost time for Halloween. This season reminds me of how I met my wife. I went to a costume party, and saw her across the room. Standing there all thin and tall and gorgeous next to her fat friend. They'd come to the party together dressed as the number ten," he tells the bartender. "That's when I knew, she was the one."

How did the Halloween store stay open during the labor shortage?

They operated with a skeleton crew.

Do we even need Halloween anymore?

I've been wearing a mask and eating candy for 14 months...

Halloween logic-gate joke I came up with

What do you call someone who will always banish one of 2 spirits, but never both?
An XORcist

For Halloween, I'm getting plastered.

I don't drink, I'm just going as a white guy.

Halloween Yo Mama Joke

Yo mama so fat, she ate her way through the corn maze.

The Halloween costume

A guy dressed in regular street clothes walks into a bar on Halloween and orders a beer. "I'm here for the costume party," he tells the bartender. The bartender looks him up and down, taking in his ordinary clothing and no makeup or wig. "What are you supposed to be?" the bartender asks. "I'm a werewolf," the guy replies. "How's that? You're not dressed up at all," the bartender says. "Well, it's not a full moon tonight, now is it Mr. Smart Guy?" the guy replies.

At a Halloween party

A: What are you dressed as?
B: I'm a harp.
A: Your costume's too small to be a harp.
B: Are you calling me a lyre?

I went to a Halloween party

I decided to dress as a clown. On my way to the party, a man in a suit stopped me. He said he was glad he finally found me. I had to explain that he must have me confused for somebody else, but he told me I was dressed like him. I explained that I was just wearing a costume, but he laughed it off as a joke. He then drags me into his car, and now I'm suddenly a member of Congress.

A Halloween joke I made up when I was 12: What did Dracula name his boat?

The Blood Vessel

Hallow joke, A Halloween joke I made up when I was 12: What did Dracula name his boat?

jokes about hallow