Hall Pass Jokes
10 hall pass jokes and hilarious hall pass puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hall pass that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Rib-Tickling Hall Pass Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What is a good hall pass joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A student comes to a young professor's office hours...
She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hall pass
My wife is really not too bright. We have this system where we have what's called a "hall pass" where you get to have s**... with any two people in the whole world, as long as your spouse agrees to it.
Now, I picked Angelina Jolie and Christie Brinkley. But my wife, she picked the Mexican guy that mows our lawn and his brother! Out of all the people in the world.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
comeback is real!
A professor and a fool
A professor was walking along a very narrow hall when he came face to face with a rival.
The passage way was too narrow for two to pass.
The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said with a sneer,
I never make way for fools!
Smiling, the Gracious Professor stepped aside and with a bow replied, I Always Do.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman visited her doctor for her annual exam. The doctor asked, Are you and your husband s**... active? Yes, we have verbal s**... everyday. the woman answered. Verbal s**...? I think you mean o**... s**...! the doctor laughed. No, I mean verbal s**.... the woman persisted.
Every morning my husband and I pass each other in the hall and say, 'Fuck you!'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So an older lady gets into a taxi...
She told the driver where she wanted to go, and off they were. As they passed a church, the old lady made the sign of the cross. The driver saw what she did and as they passed the town hall, he made the sign of the cross as well.
"Why did you do that? It's not a church."
"Well, they are made out of the same material." The driver chuckled
"Are you married?"
"Yes, I am" he responded confused
"When you kiss your wife on the cheek, do you also kiss her in the a**...?"
"No, why would I do that?"
"Well, they are made out of the same material."
John, a high school student, wants to join an afterschool club.
He looks through the catalog and decides on Yearbook. One day after school, he walks through the halls but realizes he doesn't know which room is Yearbook.
Finally, after looking around for 10 minutes, he gives up. He sees a room which has people editing photos inside. Thinking it must be Yearbook, he makes sure by asking a student passing by "Is this yearbook?". However, the student looks visibly confused and finally responds with: "That's a door..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hall s**...
Three guys were standing around the golf course talking about how often they have s**... with their wives.
The first guys says, "I'm lucky if I get s**... once a month. and if we do its just regular old m**... style s**...." The other two guys shake their heads in understanding.
The second guy says, "I get to have s**... with my wife a couple of times a month and she lets me do it m**... and d**...." The other two guys again shake their heads in understanding.
The third guy says, "me and my wife have s**... every day." His two buddies look at him in amazement and one of them asks, "What kind of s**... do yall have?" The guys looks at him and says, "We have hall s**...."
His buddies look at him and one says, "Hall s**...? I've never heard of that."
The guy looks at him and says, "When we pass each other in the hall we look at each other and say, 'Fuck You'."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is in a hospital, holding vigil at his wife's bedside...
...she has been in a coma for 3 weeks, the result of a terrible car accident. He is staring lovingly at her, lost in fleeting glimpses of the past, when a nurse enters the room carrying a pan of water, a sponge tucked under her arm. The man nods, kisses his wife on the forehead, and leaves the room. Several minutes have passed. He is alone in the hallway when the door opens and the nurse approaches him excitedly. Embarrassed now, she tells the man that when she tended to his wife's private parts during the sponge bath, his wife had moaned. She whispers that perhaps o**... s**... can bring her out of her coma! Puzzled, but willing to try anything, the man agrees and enters his wife's room while the nurse now waits in the hall. Minutes later, an alarm sounds from the equipment monitoring his wife. The nurse rushes into the room and sees the man at the head of his wife's bed, zipping up his pants. "I think she choked.'", he exclaims.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 kinds of married s**...:
Before I got married, my grandpa pulled me aside and asked me if I knew everything I needed to know about s**.... I told him I did, but he proceeded to educate me on the 3 kinds of s**... I could expect now that I was going to have a wife.
"For the first 6 months to a year, you're going to be having 'Anywhere' s**...," he told me. "That's where you'll do it in the kitchen, in the car, on the couch... anywhere."
"After that, there's a long period of 'Bedroom' s**.... That's where you do it two or three times a month. Always in the bedroom, usually with the lights off. Finally, " he said, "comes 'Hallway' s**...."
"What's that, Pappy?" I said.
"That's where you pass each other in the hall and say, 'Fuck you'."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At the maternity ward...
Three men sit in the maternity ward of a hospital. The orderly comes in and says to the first man "Congratulations sir! you are the proud father of two healthy twins!" the man replies "Hah! what a coincidence! I work at Twin City Motors!" whereupon he h**... into the ward to be with his wife. a few minutes pass, before the orderly returns and says to the second man "Congratulations, sir! you are the proud father of three healthy triplets!" to which he replies "Hah! what a coincidence! I work for Triple A!" before going into the ward to be with his wife. A few hours pass but eventually the orderly comes back into the room, and before she can say a thing, the third man jumps up, and tears down the hall screaming. "Sir! what's wrong!" the orderly shouts, chasing after him. The man shouts over his shoulder "I work for Ten Thousand Auto Parts!"
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