Hall Jokes
136 hall jokes and hilarious hall puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hall that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is a collection of jokes related to different hall types such as pool halls, music halls, city halls, town halls, Victorian music halls, Annie Halls, study halls, bingo halls, exam halls, hallways, ballrooms, and gymnasiums. Enjoy these hilarious and clever jokes to lighten the mood and have a laugh!
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Funniest Hall Short Jokes
Short hall jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hall humour may include short hill jokes also.
- I saw my ex girlfriend at the other end of the museum hall, but I was too self conscious to say hello. There was too much history between us.
- In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said... Yes, Oui, Si, Ja
- One thing nice about Trumps White House is how polite they are... You can walk down the halls and everyone says "Pardon me".
- Proud Dad moment here: I was changing out a light fixture in the front hall and asked my 16yo son to hand me a pair of pliers As he gave them to me, he said Sure Dad — many hands make light work.
- What do yo get if you're inducted into the serial killer hall of fame? A lifetime dismembership.
- TIL, Big Ben was named after Sir Benjamin Hall who oversaw the installation of the Bell.... Thankfully, his brother Richard reported sick that day .
- Hear about the vampire who quit his job at the Amusement Park? He used to set up the Hall of Mirrors but he just couldn't see himself doing it anymore.
- Why is the Hockey Hall Of Fame situated in Toronto? So that Leafs fans can remember what a Stanley cup looks like.
- How do you know a good gynecologist? He can wallpaper the hall, stairs and landing through the letterbox!
- Here's one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans Hall of Famer Al Kaline wore #6 throughout his career, which actually makes him slightly acidic.
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Hall One Liners
Which hall one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hall? I can suggest the ones about hart and isle.
- How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall? B 52
- What do you call a concert Hall full of Belle Delphine fans? A Simphony.
- Who is a grain harvester's favorite musical artist? Hall'n Oates
- Why was Gandalf allowed his staff into Theoden's hall? Because it was Staff Only
- Why did Elton John go to Radio City Music Hall? He wanted to be a Rockette Man
- You know how many people work at city hall? Less than half of them.
- What do you call a kid running down a hall while making car noises? Gran Autismo
- Two musicians were hired to drive a grain truck They were Hall and Oates
- What do you call the dance hall at a nudist colony? The ball room.
- If competitive lumberjacking is a sport... ...then Pinocchio would be a hall-of-famer.
- Finally accepted to the Mining Hall of Fame! I can't tell you how happy I am.
- Someone asked me to Deck the Halls, so I did. Mr and Mrs Hall were a bit miffed...
- What did the dyslexic German event planner say? The hall of cost will be 1945
- Why didn't they let the musicians into the concert hall? They were the band.
- Which talk show host is most popular with pirates? ARRRRRRRRRR-senio Hall
Hall Of Fame Jokes
Here is a list of funny hall of fame jokes and even better hall of fame puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Heard this joke from a little kid. Why was the broken phonograph in the Hall of Fame? Because it broke all the records.
- Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire were finally able to get into the Baseball Hall of Fame by using a Jedi mind trick... "These are not the 'roids you're looking for ..."
- Why are the Pro Football Hall of Fame and the Cleveland Browns in the same state? To keep all the busts in one place.
- Why is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony in New York City, when the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is located in Cleveland? Because the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is located in Cleveland
- Pete Rose was asked if he thought he'd ever make it into the Baseball Hall of Fame. "I wouldn't bet on it."
- How did Jim Morrison get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? The Doors
- My love life is getting me in the Hall of Fame! Last time I got to first base was years ago.
- Big Lebowski The Achievers....a man named Lee Cheevers. He is placed into the Hall of Fame. He is now Golden Lee Cheevers. ...
- Sheesh! I wish they'd just let Mr. Rose into the Baseball Hall of Fame, For Pete's sake!
City Hall Jokes
Here is a list of funny city hall jokes and even better city hall puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blonde went to city hall to register to vote. The clerk asked her, "When s your birthday?" She replied, 'June 10." The clerk asked, "What year?"
The blonde said, "Every year." - I prefer to buy rental properties that take up an entire city block or more. I'm in it for the long hall.
- They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can.
It's not much of a fight....
Town Hall Jokes
Here is a list of funny town hall jokes and even better town hall puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Police arrested two men trespassing on grounds of the local town hall, after searching them the found battery acid and fire works. They charged one, and let the other off.
Pool Hall Jokes
Here is a list of funny pool hall jokes and even better pool hall puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Me: "Oh, Magic 8 ball, can I do anything right?" Other people in the pool hall: "Can you give that back?"
Cheeky Hall Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about hall you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hole jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hall pranks.
A Halloween joke for you.
Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He walked up to a house and said "trick or treat". The little old lady just gushed over his costume. She says to Johnny, "What a cute costume, but let me ask you....Where are your buccaneers?" Little Johnny says back, "They're under my buckin hat lady."
This Halloween on the East Coast
I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween.
Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Halloween is for dressing up as something you're not.
That's why most girls go as something s**....
It is Fred's first day in prison.
After spending the morning being processed, he is taken to the huge mess hall for lunch. He finds a seat at a table full of inmates who look like they have been behind bars for years. Suddenly, an inmate stands in the middle of the room and yells, "41!" As he sits down, the room erupts in laughter. Then another prisoner stands and yells, "123!" Again, there is laughter throughout the room.
Puzzled, Fred asks the inmate sitting next to him what's going on. "Well," the older inmate says, "Most of us have been here so long that we have heard all the jokes. So we just number them and use the number."
Fred says, "I love to tell jokes! Give me one."
"Okay," says the older inmate. "Everybody loves old 72. It always gets a big laugh"
Fred stands up, waits for the laughter to die down from the last joke, and yells, "72!" There is nothing but silence as hundreds of inmates just turn and stare at him.
Fred sits down and looks at the inmate who gave him the number.
"What happened?" he asks.
The older man shrugs and says, "Some people just can't tell a joke."
Last Halloween
Last Halloween, I went to a costume party. I spot a guy dressed in a monkey costume with a jar of peanut butter in one hand and a chocolate bar in the other. I asked him what he was dressed as, and he replied, "Me? I am a Reese's Monkey."
A Halloween Limerick
A lady vampire named Mable
Had a period that was awfully stable.
So once a full moon
She took out her spoon
And drank herself under the table.
Picabo Street is a former World Cup alpine ski racer and model. When she was inducted into the National Ski Hall of Fame in 2004, her home town of Triumph, Idaho dedicated an entire wing of the local hospital to her.
It's called the Picabo ICU.
I've been having hallucinations lately.
I'm getting better though; I'm starting to see a psychiatrist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where is h**...'s bathroom?
Down ze hall on ze Third r**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is Halloween a h**...'s favorite holiday?
Because they like to pumpkin.
I'll see myself out...
In a hospital
A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.
A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"
He said, "I heard the nurse say, It's a very simple operation, don't worry. I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you. What's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Foreplay
After the first week of s**... education class, a young shapely teen stormed out of the room after the class was over. Encountering a female friend in the hall, the friend asked, "Lori, what in the world is the matter with you? You look as if you're about to kill someone." "I am !!!" Lori fumed. "You just wait until I catch up with that Dennis. All summer long, that clown had me convinced that 'foreplay' involved tossing a coin for position."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
comeback is real!
A professor and a fool
A professor was walking along a very narrow hall when he came face to face with a rival.
The passage way was too narrow for two to pass.
The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said with a sneer,
I never make way for fools!
Smiling, the Gracious Professor stepped aside and with a bow replied, I Always Do.
Halloween Joke
This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he's just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.
The host says to him, Dude, this is a Halloween party! You're supposed to be wearing a costume?
The guy replies, I am wearing a costume! I'm a snail!
You're a snail?
Yeah, I'm a snail, says the guy. Then he points to his girlfriend and says, This is Michelle.
On Halloween I like to go to the store and buy apples and razorblades just to see the look on the clerk's face.
This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around.
I was a dictator.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Johnny was in class one day...
and the teacher was asking everyone what their parents do. One said her dad was a firefighter, another said his mom was a nurse. When the teach asked Johnny what his dad does Johnny said "Well my dad is a stripper in a gay bar, and if the guy looks good and the money is right he'll have s**... with him out back in the alley." The teacher asked everyone to take their seats and sit quietly, then asked Johnny to step into the hall. She asked Johnny if his dad was really a stripper in a gay bar and Johnny said "Absolutely not. He's the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, but I was too embarrassed to say that."
The Violin Ensemble playing in Carnegie Hall somehow got an R-18 rating...
The censors say it contains explicit scenes of violins encore.
I keep having hallucinations of pickles.
My therapist says I'm dillusional.
A student comes to a young professor's office hours...
She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two classical musicians had s**... for the first time together.
Woman: "That's a pretty small o**... you're playing down there."
Man: "Well, I didn't know I would be performing in Carnegie Hall tonight."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The s**... is made up of Glucose........
MBBS Professor:
The s**... is made up of Glucose, the same material Sugar is made of.
A Girl raised her hand:
"Then why doesn't it
taste like Sugar?"
Suddenly silence in hall.
Girl:Oops.
Then Professor's reply was also a Medical master piece:
My dear, Thats because, the taste buds are located on the tip of your Tongue and not at the end of your t**...
Killer .
Got trapped in a bidding war for a house with a lengthy corridor
I'm in it for the long hall
A college lecturer asks his students who is poorer...
A man with $1000 but is $750 in debt, or a man with $250. The hall is silent for a moment, then a student stands up and answers
"Me."
For Halloween, our daughter is dressing up as joke telling jack-o'-lantern.
She's our little pun-kin.
Jimmy Saville, rolf Harris and Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland
The barman says "Not Yewtree again"
Halloween is coming up. This is the best time to teach your kids about taxes and social security...
Take away 30% of their Halloween candy and promise them you'll give part of it back in 70 years!
For halloween I'm dressing up as a plate.
Girls love to do dishes.
A dad sends his son to his room
"Go to your room!" Dad exclaimed, frustrated at his son's behavior.
"Jim Morrison is overrated!" yelled the son as he stormed down the hall.
The dad yelled furiously, "What did I tell you about slamming The Doors?!"
Progressives are enraged, conservatives are cautiously optimistic, but no group is more excited than the Imagineers of Disney.
For the first time in the history of the Hall of Presidents, they have a shot at making an audioanimatronic more realistic than the original.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican lying on his death bed
The sick Mexican was lying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when suddenly he smelled tamales. He loved tamales more than anything else in the world, especially his wife's tamales.
With every last bit of energy left in his body, the sick Mexican pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen. He saw that his wife was removing a fresh batch of tamales from the stove top. As he reached for one of the freshly made tamales, his wife smacked him in with a wooden spoon.
"Leave them alone, c**..., they're for the f**...."
A small town has a factory which produces coffee scented skin creme.
The trucks which transport the cream are causing so much traffic in the small town that the mayor holds a town hall meeting to find a solution. The residents eventually vote to move the cream by train.
So there was a local motion for mocha lotion locamotion.
For my next Halloween costume I'll need to physically disappear out of existence...
I'll be the wage gap.
At the Hallmark store
"Do you sell sympathy cards?" I asked at the Hallmark store.
"Yes we do." replied the clerk.
"Good," I said, "could I exchange this 'Get Well Soon' card for one?"
I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered
The chicken
Retraction
The following headline appeared in the daily newspaper and threw the city hall into an uproar: "Half the city council are crooks."
A retraction in full was demanded of the editor under the threat of a libel suit. Next afternoon, the headline read, "Half the city council aren't crooks."
A Scientist is with his peer
The peer asks the scientist, "What are you working on?"
The scientist says, "Its amazing. I taught a dog how to communicate to humans with morse code!"
The two walk down the hall to see the dog and the scientist gives the dog a command. The dogs taps his paw on the ground with intervals of time creating letters in morse code.
The peer says, "What is he saying?"
The scientist says, "Woof."
A student busts into a lecture hall right as the professor is finishing his lecture
The student says professor sorry I'm late, do you mind summarising the lecture for me in 2 minutes.
The professor says, No need son, it will all be on the exam
Met an older woman at a bar last night.
She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and flirted a bit, then she asked if I'd ever had a mother and daughter combo? I said no.
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight is my lucky night.
I went back to her place.
She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:
"Mom, you still awake?"
What are you going to be for Halloween?
Working.
Halloween trick or treat
I remember a story from last year. I was sat in my living room when I heard a small knock at the door. As I opened the door there was a little boy dressed as the Predator, with his dad. I asked "and who are you meant to be?" kneeling down to give him a sweet, "a child Predator" his dad responds. "What a coincidence" I thought.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to e**... new recruits to the mess hall.
After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them
"There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up!
Eat up!
Get up!"
Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"
Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"
Which Halloween costume has the hardest time getting to third base?
The Headless horseman
Went to a Halloween party dressed as myself...
Nobody knew who I was.
I'm going to the Halloween party at my office today as President Hillary Clinton
I'm not going to show up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This Halloween I'm going as a s**... accountant
You know, it's the thot that counts
I came up with the best Halloween costume!
A disapointment
I can't believe people's Halloween decorations are still up...
Halloween is 364 days away, guys
When Halloween is over
And you see the girl you got head from is still dressed up as a guy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... was at the doctor's office the other day..
He said to the doctor "Doc, I'm half deaf all of a sudden. I'm having trouble hearing."
The doctor replied "Right, we'll test if you're half deaf or not. Go out and stand in the room at the end of the hall and I'll shout a number and if you can hear it, shout it back."
p**... walked out and into the room.
The doctor shouted "88!"
p**... replied "44!"
A man really needs to go to the bathroom
A: Do you know the way to the bathroom?
B: Yeah, walk down this hall and to the left.
A: Is there a faster way?
B: Sure, run down this hall and to the left.
For a Halloween party I dressed up as a piece of bread
couldn't keep the birds away from me ;)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is there a broken phonograph in the Baseball Hall of Fame?
Because it was a record player.
I'm tired and rebuilding a Victrola. If this is a repost, then good, all the ancient aliens people can s**... it with their "evidence". Sometimes multiple people just get the same idea for fuckall reason.
My wife suggested to spice things up with roleplaying.
I asked her what she had in mind.
Doctor and patient roleplaying she said. I'll be the doctor.
Sounds good to me! I said.
So she went to the bedroom and I waited in the hall.
I knocked on the door and hear her say: Do you have an appointment?
Well, no...
Then please wait in the waiting room
She was building up tension.
I hope my neighbor is okay tho, he had the 1 pm appointment and has been in there for hours now.
A tourist in New York wants to visit Carnegie Hall, so he's walking down the street trying to find it.
He sees a musician carrying a violin case going the opposite way. He stops him and asks: "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?"
Without missing a beat, the musician replies, "Practice, practice, practice."
Last Halloween i dressed up as Julius Caesar, and my friends ditched me
Talk about getting stabbed in the back
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man and a woman are lying in bed after a disappointing round of s**...
The woman says, "You have a very small o**...."
To which the man replies, "Well, I didn't expect to be playing Carnegie Hall."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman visited her doctor for her annual exam. The doctor asked, Are you and your husband s**... active? Yes, we have verbal s**... everyday. the woman answered. Verbal s**...? I think you mean o**... s**...! the doctor laughed. No, I mean verbal s**.... the woman persisted.
Every morning my husband and I pass each other in the hall and say, 'Fuck you!'"
Just found out my grandad left me a stately home in his will.
I just don't know where sod hall is...
So this dude's giving a lecture
about how two negatives can make a positive but two positives can't make a negative, when a voice from the lecture hall shouts:
"Yeah, Yeah!"
A ship discovers a lost island in the South Pacific
To their surprise, the ship's company find the remains of a shipwreck there, a couple of decades old, and a single survivor, a Welsh mariner who has busied himself building an exact replica of a Welsh village, complete with a town hall, a pub, a rugby pitch, and two chapels.
"...Two chapels?" asks the ship's captain, and the castaway's face darkens as he nods in the direction of one of the chapels: "That's the one I don't go to."
A woman went to the doctor's office and seen by one of the new young doctors.
After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
On Halloween don't wear a dinosaur costume in bad neighborhoods.
You'll get Jurasskicked.
For Halloween I was going to dress up as the rising Covid cases
But that doesn't seem to scare anyone
This Halloween, I waited all day for my friend to meet me at the play park
What kind of friend says Let's go see Saw and doesn't turn up?
I always get Halloween and Valentine's Day confused.
They're both about candy and being something you're not.
Halloween trick or treaters knocked my door, dressed as Gloria Gaynor
At first I was afraid, I was petrified...
Last Halloween I was driving my son around and we ran into a fire hydrant.
Probably the worst costume I've ever seen.
A man is being examined by his doctor.
He hears a voice down the hall, yelling.
"Polio! Diphtheria! Measles! Chicken pox!"
Alarmed, he asks his doctor what's going on.
"Don't worry," the doctor says. "That's just our head nurse. She likes to call the shots around here."
A mushroom goes into the hall of bad jokes and says I'd like to submit a joke of my people
The receptionist looks at him and says listen buddy we have so many bad jokes here that I'm not sure we can squeeze yours in. It has to be exceptionally bad, let me hear it.
Mushroom: so a shroom goes on a date with this girl and she says 'tell me about yourself' and he says 'well I'm a fungi!'
Receptionist: yeah that jokes bad but it's just not gonna cut it, we can't put it in,
We don't have mushroom.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Police in Belfast have now been given permission to shoot people who break the curfew.
p**... and m**..., have been put at the top of Belfast City Hall and are ordered to shoot anyone after the 8pm curfew.
The first night they are looking out at 7.45pm and m**... takes his gun and shoots a man.
"What are you doing m**..." said p**..., "It's only a quarter to eight!"
"That was wee Jimmy, I know where he lives, he would never have made it home in time."
Walking around NYC, and a beautiful lady stops me,
She asked me "how do you get to carnagie hall?"
I told her "with a lot of hard work and dedication, ma'mn"
A Halloween costume idea
A nurse walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Are you coming to our big Halloween party?" the bartender asks. "Yes, I've already planned my costume. I'm going to come as a horrible monster made entirely out of blood," the nurse says. "I'm going to be a hemogoblin."
