Halfgallon Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A gallon of chocolate ice cream

A heavy set woman walks into an ice cream store and orders a gallon of chocolate ice cream. The man behind the counter says "ma'am, i'm so sorry, but we just ran out of chocolate."
Now this heavy set woman is an executive-type, and she is hungry and in a hurry, she says "Look asshole, give me a half-gallon of chocolate ice cream and I'll pay for it and be on my way."
The guy behind the counter says, "ma'am, I'm sure you didn't hear me, but we are totally out of chocolate ice cream."
The woman is now pissed off, "Listen douchebag, give me a scoop of chocolate ice cream, put some sprinkles and gummie bears on it and I'll pay for it and be out of your life forever."
The long suffering clerk leans back and thinks for a minute before responding. "Ma'am, can you spell the 'van' in vanilla?"
She says, "Of course I can. V-A-N."
He goes, "OK, can you spell the 'straw' in strawberry?"
She says, "Yeah, that's easy. S-T-R-A-W."
He replies, "Alright, well can you spell the 'fuck' in chocolate?"
She says, "There's no fuckin chocolate."
The clerk says "Yeah, that's what I've been telling you for the last five minutes."

You must be single.

A young woman was shopping at her local supermarket. She puts her items on the conveyer: A toothbrush, toothpaste, a half-gallon of 2% milk and a frozen pizza. The cashier calmly states, "You must be single." The woman looks at her items and back to the cashier, "Wow! How did you know that?" The cashier responds, "Because you you're ugly AF."

Conveyor Belt

A man was shopping at his local supermarket where he selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

He unloaded his items on the conveyor belt to check out, and the cashier said "You must be single."

The young man was a bit startled by this proclamation,
but he was intrigued by the check-out girl's intuition, since he was indeed single. He looked at his six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about his selections that could have tipped off the cashier.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he said "Well, you
know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The cashier replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Never question a drunk!

A 37 year old woman at the super market says: NEVER, EVER, QUESTION A DRUNK . . . . I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. Can of coffee
A 1 lb. Package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated -- 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found "Mr. Right." I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.....

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said -- 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied -- 'Cause you're ugly'.

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket.

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly"

A woman shopping at her local mart where....................

................................she selected:

a half-gallon of 2% milk
a carton of eggs
a quart of orange juice
a head of romaine lettuce
a 2 lb. can of coffee
a 1 lb. package of bacon
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly"

You must be single...

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly."

What are the funniest halfgallon jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Halfgallon? Well, here are the best Halfgallon puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Halfgallon pick up lines to share with friends.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Joko Jokes