Halfempty Jokes
14 halfempty jokes and hilarious halfempty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about halfempty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Halfempty Short Jokes
Short halfempty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The halfempty humour may include short glass half empty jokes also.
- Optimist: "This glass is half-full." Pessimist: "This glass is half-empty." EA Employee: "Download the next half for $9.99!"
- Today convinced me that society isn't deteriorating as much as we think. I was on the bus at 6am and this really generous guy offered me a sip from his half-empty whiskey bottle.
- There are 3 types of people in the world: Glass half-full people, glass half-empty people, And kids with antivax parents, who never live long enough to form an opinion
- I really hate getting scammed on the internet. I ordered a shipment of uranium-237 the other day... ...and by the time it arrived a few days later, the box was half-empty!
- Some people see the glass half-full, others half-empty But I didn't see it at all until it hit me.
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Halfempty One Liners
Which halfempty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with halfempty? I can suggest the ones about empty glass and half wit.
- I'm more of a "the glass is half-empty" guy. Because I don't spit into it.
- What do you call a person who looks at a glass half-empty? An Alcoholic.
- Confucius say: There is no half-empty beer bottle... ...only half-full p**... bottle
Unearthly Funniest Halfempty Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about halfempty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean half baked jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make halfempty pranks.
Father, what causes arthritis?
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, ''Father, what causes arthritis?''
''Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man,'' the priest replied. ''Imagine that,'' the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'' ''I don't have arthritis, Father,'' the drunk said, ''but I just read in the paper that the Pope does.''
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day...
He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man," the priest replied.
"Imagine that," the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk said, "but I just read in the paper that the Pope does."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Preist & The Drunkard
A man flops down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie is
stained, his face is plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty
bottle of gin sticks out of his torn coat pocket.
He opens his newspaper and begins reading. After a few minutes, the
disheveled guy turns to the priest and asks, "Say, Father, what causes
arthritis?"
"It's caused by loose living, cheap women and too much alcohol!"
"Well, I'll be d**...!" the drunk mutters, returning to his paper.
The priest thinks about what he has said, nudges the man and apologizes.
"I'm very sorry. I shouldn't have been so unpleasant about it. Tell me,
how long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the pope does!"
