Hairy Jokes
141 hairy jokes and hilarious hairy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hairy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is the best collection of hairy jokes that will have you laughing out loud. From the classic dad joke to the more obscure, these jokes are sure to make you laugh.
Quick Jump To
- Short Hairy Jokes
- Hairy One Liners
- Your Mama So Hairy Jokes
- Yo Mama So Hairy Jokes
- Hairy Legs Jokes
- Your Momma So Hairy Jokes
- More Hairy Jokes
Funniest Hairy Short Jokes
Short hairy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hairy humour may include short haired jokes also.
- Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle. Coconut.
- I just got fired from my job as a bingo caller... Apparently, "A meal for two with a hairy view" is *not* an appropriate way of calling out number 69...
- I saw a werewolf behind the bus stop last night! Or a really hairy homeless guy.
Either way, the silver bullet worked! - What's the difference between a coyote and a flea? One howls on the prairie; the other prowls on the hairy.
- What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside? A coconut!
- Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy.... Either way, the silver bullets work.
- What is brown, hairy, lives in the desert, has four legs, two humps, and is full of cement? A camel - I put in the cement just to make it harder.
- What's the difference between your mom and an alpaca? One's a hairy beast that spits and the other's native to South America.
- I got fired from my Bingo Caller Job... Apparently "A meal for two with a hairy view" is not the way you say 69.
- Daniel Radcliffe would make a good Wolverine Wolverine's short and hairy; Daniel is short and Harry.
Share These Hairy Jokes With Friends
Hairy One Liners
Which hairy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hairy? I can suggest the ones about long haired and furry.
- Never confuse a Kiwi with an Aussie. One's a soft, hairy fruit and the other's a kiwi!
- What's big and hairy and sticks out of your pyjamas at night. Your head
- What has four hairy legs and sleeps with my sister? My father and I
- If a bearded man makes vases... Is he a hairy potter?
- Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection
- Your momma is so hairy When you was born you got carpet burn.
- What do you call a ceramic artist in need of a shave? Hairy Potter.
- What do you call a bearded gardener? Hairy Potter
- What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation.
- What would Chewbacca be called if he worked with porcelain? Hairy Potter
- Why was two piece swimsuit invented? To separate the hairy from the dairy.
- If my 33 year old body was a 90's Rom-Com... ...it would be "When Hairy Met Saggy".
- What's long and hard, and hairy at one end? A toothbrush.
- Yo momma's so hairy when she went too the zoo everybody screamed, "The gorilla's loose!"
- My wife loves a hairy chest... But I personally think she looks better without it.
Your Mama So Hairy Jokes
Here is a list of funny your mama so hairy jokes and even better your mama so hairy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yo mama so hairy She gotta comb her wrist to see what time it is
- Yo momma is so hairy, when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed and said, "IT'S CHEWBACCA!"
- Yo mamma is so hairy when you were born you had carpet burn.
- Yo mama's so hairy, when she goes camping Bigfoot tries taking pictures of her
- Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
- Yo mama so hairy Jane Goodall set up a base camp in her bathroom.
- Yo mamma so hairy when she lifted her armpit she said, "Welcome to the jungle."
- Yo mama so hairy when I hugged her I got a rug burn.
- Yo mama so hairy She accidentally guest starred on Finding Bigfoot
- Yo mama so hairy You almost died of rug burn when you were born
Yo Mama So Hairy Jokes
Here is a list of funny yo mama so hairy jokes and even better yo mama so hairy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yo mama's armpit is so hairy it looks like she has Bigfoot in a headlock.
- Yo momma so hairy, she has to use a lawnmower to shave her underarm hair.
- Yo mama so hairy... the National Geographic show filmed an episode in her bathroom!
- Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
- Yo mama so hairy when she went to space the aliens thought she was chubacco.
- Yo Momma is so hairy, that Bigfoot tried to take her picture!
- Yo mamma is so hairy that she cut her hair and lost 20 pounds.
- Yo momma's so hairy, she could be sold as a Chia Pet.
- Yo mama so hairy that when she went to the pet store they locked her up in a cage!
- Yo momma is so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookie.
Hairy Legs Jokes
Here is a list of funny hairy legs jokes and even better hairy legs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs? His horse Marengo
- Whats brown and hairy and is between a policemens legs? a police dog
- What is red, hairy, and has eight legs? Your mom.
- Yo mama so hairy, she shaves her legs with a lawnmower.
- Your momma is so hairy when she opens her legs it says "Welcome to Busch Gardens."
- What's green, hairy, and has eight legs? Your mom.
Your Momma So Hairy Jokes
Here is a list of funny your momma so hairy jokes and even better your momma so hairy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yo momma armpits are so hairy It looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
- Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot took a picture of HER!
- Yo momma so hairy when she s**... she lost 200 pounds
Happy Hairy Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about hairy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shaved hair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hairy pranks.
My wife said it's either her or the dog.
​
So I've got to choose between a hairy, drooling mongrel with bad breath. . . or my beloved canine.
Boy arrives home from school and wails: Mum, everyone says I'm too hairy.
Mum yells to her husband: Honey, the dog is talking!!
The Ballerina
This n**..., sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the woman c**... it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"
Searching for Sasquatch
Two men are on a hunt through the forest looking for Sasquatch.
After days and days of searching and not even finding a footprint, they happen to run into an old native man.
They ask the man "Have you by any chance seen a Sasquatch around here?"
Confused, he replies "Sasquatch?"
They answer him "Sasquatch..you know; big, hairy, smells bad.."
"Oh!" he replies. "You mean squawsnatch!"
Three women and ducks
Three women die in a car accident and go to heaven when they are at the gate god tells them that there is only one rule and that is that you may not step on a duck. They women enter and do their best to enjoy heaven while being cautious about where they step for there are ducks everywhere. After about a week one of the three women steps on a duck and suddenly this old, smelly, repulsive and hairy man is chained to her for life. This only makes the other women more careful and another month passes by when a second of the three women steps on a duck. Then chained to her is a man more repulsive then the first. The third woman becomes ever so cautious and make it a whole year without treading upon a duck. Chained to her is a handsom, muscular and wonderful gentleman. She says to him "What happened to you?" he replies " I stepped on a duck..."
An old woman joins a gang.
A little old lady wanted to join a biker club.
She went to a bar where she new they hung out and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms was at the entrance.
She proclaims "I want to join your biker club."
The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asks her "You have a bike?"
The little old lady says "Yea, that's my Harley over there" and points to a Harley parked in the parking lot.
The biker asks her "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady says "Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool."
The biker is impressed and asks "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?"
The little old lady says "No, never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my n**... a few times."
A Foot And A Half
Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a v**.... So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.
Don't worry, Maria, says the mother, all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!
Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.
So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!
Stay here and stir the pasta, says the mother.
This is a job for Mama.
An old ugly wife is looking in the mirror...
Listing all the things wrong with her old flabby hairy body while her husband lays on the bed watching an ocean documentary on TV.
"I'm disgusting, aren't I?"
He doesn't respond.
"Hey! Answer me! I look like a whale, don't I!?"
He responds, "No! Absolutely not, you don't look anything like a whale, my dear..."
Before she could get out an "aww thanks", he says "Have you *seen* how stunningly beautiful those creatures are!?!"
OC: What does a limo driver and a hairy stripper have in common?
They both get paid to chauffeur. (show fur)
My dad's favorite joke.
A lady walks into a cafe and orders a burger from the cashier. She notices the cook isn't wearing a shirt and curiously watches him prepare her food. He takes a handful of ground beef and slaps it against his hairy stomach, flips it over, and does the same to the other side. Appalled, the lady looks at the cashier and says, "Eww, that's *disgusting*!" The cashier replies, "If you think that's g**..., you should see him make donuts."
Why do Russians have so many bear fighting stories?
Because their liquor is strong and their women are hairy.
A man comes into jail the first time in life...
On the first day in the shower a huge hairy guy full of muscles comes out of the fog right to him :"You're my new wife now. Let's get it on."
The man looks all around but theres nobody who'll help him and he surrenders in fear of what might come.
"With or without spit?" asks the big hairy man. The first-timer answered "When I have to: with spit" The big man turns around and yells into the showers: "Yo Spit, he says you can come too."
Daddy, why am I so hairy?
Hooney... The dog is talking to me!
What do you call a small hairy man of folk legend who's selfish during an o**...?
A k**...-hoggin' hobgoblin!
What's green and hairy and skies down a mountain
a skiwi
What's the best thing to have in a hairy situation?
A razor.
What starts with C, ends with T, has U and N in the middle, is really hairy, and has lots of tasty liquid inside? ;)
A coconut.
I like my girls like Han from Star Wars
with a hairy Wookie.
I hate having to brush my teeth in the morning.
I must be the only person in the world with hairy teeth.
A recent report shows that
Gangs are now using dogs instead of knives, I tried this.
My toast was very hairy
A boy is in the shower with his mum.
The boy says, "Whats that hairy thing mum?"
Mum replies, "That is my sponge."
"Oh yeah," says the boy, "The babysitters got one too, she likes to wash dad's face with it!
What happened when the student s**... his beard in ceramics class?
Hairy pottery
Alternate Lyrics: I kissed a Trans and I liked it.
The taste of her hairy lap stick.
Did you hear the one about my hairy, cannibalistic uncle?
He was an aunt-eater.
A boy with a wooden eye asked a girl with a hairy lip to the prom...
Seeing how nobody else would likely go with them, the boy with the wooden eye asks the girl with the hairy lip, "Would you like to go to Prom with me?".
The girl with the hairy lip, surprised and excited says, "Would I!?".
"HAIRY LIP", replied the boy.
Walking past the f**... directors.
I was walking past the f**... directors the other day, and I looked in, and was shocked to see a large, hairy elephant in a black suit showing a family a head stone.
I thought to myself "That's a mammoth undertaking."
A boy is in the bath with his mum and asks
"What's that hairy thing?"
Mum says, "That's my sponge dear"
The boy says, "Oh yeah, the babysitters got one too. I have seen her washing Dads face with it."
A little boy was in the bath with his mom.
The boy said "What's that hairy thing, mommy?", She replied, "That is my sponge honey". "Ohhh," said the boy, "The babysitter has one too. I saw dad washing his face with it!"
A new barbershop just opened called Hairy Styles.
They only do comb-overs in One Direction.
Hagrid: You're a wizard, Harry.
Harry: You're a hairy wizard.
Last night I slept like a baby
I had a hairy old man patting me on the back going "ssshhhh, everything's going to be OK."
Just spent ages waxing the car
..Still not sure how it gets that hairy.
What do call a man with too much testosterone that works with plants?
Hairy Potter
If I ever get a Chia Pet
I'm naming it Hairy Pottery.
A young boy is bathing with his mother
Boy says, Whats that hairy thing mom?
Mom replies, That is my sponge.
Oh yes, says the boy, The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it.
The person who invented the Lint-Roller
Really helped to get me out of some hairy situations.
What do you call a hairy puzzle?
Pubik's Cube.
What is green and hairy and goes up and down?
A gooseberry in a lift.
Was doing an image search for Gary Oldman
Accidentally forgot the R. Results were hairy.
What do you call a cow with a hairy lip?
Moooostached
I can't wait for this weekend's big Sci-Fi Rom-Com movie opening...
Star Wars: When Hairy Met Solo
Did you hear Chewbacca started working with porcelain?
They call him Hairy Potter.
My beard is at its optimal length.
If it gets any longer things get a bit hairy.
Bingo
I once worked as a bingo caller. I got fired on my first night, Appernetly, a meal for two with a hairy view is not the correct way to call 69.
What did Beethoven say to his hairy piano playing dog, Lise?
"Come here, furry Lise."
I'm hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. My name begins with c , ends in t , and there's a u and n in between them. What am i?
A coconut.
What do you call a hairy gay guy with manic depression?
A bipolar bear
I got into an argument with an annoying fat hairy gay guy
It was really unbearable
How do you insult a Russian?
Yo motherland so hairy, she put the bush in babushka.
I was held hostage at a barber shop once.
It was a hairy situation.
what do you call a golfing ape
hairy putter
I didn't get the job I was hoping for...
They gave it to a little hairy Australian dude. I guess he was more koalafied.
What do you call a big hairy gay man that's really into fitness?
Yogi Bear
You guys see that new hairy guy who started last week?? Moving slow, bad temper, and you can't understand a word he's saying..
C'mon guys, take it easy on him.. He'll get it soon enough, he's still just a Wookie..
A little boy is in the bath with his mum and asks her what the hairy thing he found in the water is?
* Oh, that's just mummy's sponge * she replies
* Ah thought so * says the little boy * The baby sitter has got one of those, I've seen her washing daddy's face with it! *
What big, brown, hairy, and has a white liquid inside?
Coconuts
What is the difference between a chimpanzee with a baby, Prince Charles, and a person with alopecia?
One is a hairy parent, one is an heir apparent, and the other has no hair apparent.
Me and my friends went to the Barbershop after a long quarantine, We sat their and the head barbarian said ,
Buckle up boys!! it's gonna be hairy.
What do you call a big hairy gay guy who's got mood swings?
A bipolar bear
A man goes to the doctor....
He says, "I don't know what's happening: I've grown a hairy chest, sideburns and I'm started talking in a Welsh accent.
"Ah", said the doctor, "I think you have Tom Jones sydrome".
"I've never heard of that", says the man, "is it very common?"
The doctor says, "It's not unusual."
A woman with hairy armpits enters a bar..
She sits at the end of the bar and raises her arm to call the bartender and a drunkard would say, "Hey, bartender.. give the ballerina a beer on me.."
This happened two more times and the bartender finally asks, "Tell me, I'm curious.. What makes you say that the woman at the end of the bar is a ballerina? "
The drunkard shrugs and says, "Any woman that could lift her leg that high must be a ballerina."
What is about 6 inches long, hard, hairy at the base and is pushed into a moist opening where it is quickly moved back and forth?
A toothbrush
What is the difference between a prince, a bald headed man, a monkey and an orphan?
The first is an heir apparent, the second has no apparent hair, the third has hairy parent and the last has nary a parent.
