Hairs Jokes
54 hairs jokes and hilarious hairs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hairs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these hilarious jokes about nose hairs, haircuts, combs and more. Whether you are looking for a lighthearted joke to start your day, or the perfect pun to comment on someone's new hairdo, we have got you covered! Discover Marge's silly one-liners and find out why they make everyone smile.
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Funniest Hairs Short Jokes
Short hairs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hairs humour may include short haired jokes also.
- So I told my wife she'd look sexier with her hair back Apparently that's not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
- Just found out the local barber has been arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer of his for 15 years and I didn't even know he cut hair.
- I went to the doctors with hearing problems... He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair" - My ex girlfriend was a beautiful woman... ... olive skin, green eyes, snakes for hair.
But I had to break it off with her because she was constantly objectifying me. - Why do bald men cut holes in their pockets? So they can run their hands through their hair.
- Who Did Princess Leia's Hair? (My daughter's joke) Darth Braider
(I know, I know. She's a kid though. Lol) - My son is sort of like rapunzel But instead of letting his hair down he lets everybody down.
- I said to my girlfriend that I think she'd look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
- Doctor, doctor A man goes into the doctors and says "doctor doctor I think I'm going deaf" and the doctor says "can you describe the symptoms" and he says "yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair"
- Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony? He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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Hairs One Liners
Which hairs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hairs? I can suggest the ones about hair piece and hair bang.
- All of the heroes of Overwatch have natural hair colors... Because heroes never dye.
- Why is Pavlov's hair so soft? Classic conditioning.
- What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence
* - My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!
- How does the man in the moon cut his hair? (From my 9yo child) Eclipse it.
- How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
- Did you know that every zodiac sign has different hair? Well, besides cancer.
- I have a huge phobia of hair. I dreadlocks.
- Today I got slapped for telling a girl her hair smelled nice. I hate being a dwarf.
- What is Pavlov's favorite hair product? Conditioner
- What do you call a red-haired baker? The ginger bread man
- How to get gum out of a child's hair? With leukemia.
- What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair black? Artificial intelligence.
- Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? Because he conditioned it
- I wish I had emo hair So it would cut itself.
Nose Hairs Jokes
Here is a list of funny nose hairs jokes and even better nose hairs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Pulled out a nose hair today... Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the train, it seems pretty painful.
- You have beautiful hair too bad it grows out of your nose.
- What does a flame smell like? Burnt nose hair.
- A man goes to see the doctor. He has a carrot in his ear, a stick of celery up his nose and mash potato and peas in his hair.
Doctor says "You not eating right." - TIL Fire smells like burnt nose hairs
- What's the smelliest hair? Nose Hair
- I've never liked nose hair before, but it's growing on me.
- Ash sat up with a jolt, nose hairs on end. He sneezed explosively. Witnesses reported a peak ah-choo.
- I cried last night harder than I've ever cried before. I really should invest in a nose hair trimmer instead of plucking them.
- All candles smell the same to me. Am I missing something? They all smell like burnt nose hair to me.
Witty Hairs Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about hairs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hair waves jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hairs pranks.
Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?
A curious child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!
The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.
The day I found my first gray hairs...
I thought I'd dye!
If you ever feel powerless, remember:
Just one of your p**... hairs can shut down a restaurant!
Why are p**... hairs curly?
Because, if they were straight, you would poke your eye out.
What am I?
I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole in the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in and out of a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left behind and I return to my original position. Cleaning is normally done after I have finished. What am I? Why, I am your very own toothbrush!
My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had.
For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude
Why are p**... hairs curly?
So they don't poke you in the eye.
Why some of your hairs have turned white?
Son: "Daddy; why some of your hairs have turned white?"
Father: "Every lie told by you makes one of my hairs white."
Son: "Oh now I understood why all grandfathers' hairs are white."
i was cutting boards at work...
i was cutting boards at work, as i went to bring my saw down to do a cut a rabbit jumped right on the cutting table and got cut right in half, my boss ran over and said "you just chopped that rabbit in half" and i said "no i cut it in half" to which he responded "now you are just splitting hairs
What are the longest hairs on the human body?
Nose hairs. Because every time you pull one your a**... twitches.
White hair
One day, a girl walks to her mother and look at her mother's hair and sadly said: "Why are some of your hair white mom?"
The mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.
The girl thought about this revelation a while, and then said, "Momma, how come *all* of grandma's hairs are white?"
Curly hairs
I was a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by one point.
The question was, where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, it's Africa .
My hairs been getting long lately, my family keeps telling me to cut it, but I dont know...
Its kinda been growing on me
I like my women like I like my coffee.
NO p**... HAIRS
Wifes eye site
A older man comes home from work,and he finds his wife standing in front of the mirror crying. He walks over and asks what's the matter hunny? THE WIFE SAYS. Can you find anything good about me. Look at me my hairs gray, my b**... is sagging, my boots are hanging down.. Is there anything left that's good about me.
The husband looks her up and down , and then he reply. WELL YOUR EYE SITE IS GOOD.
I hate ingrown hairs...
They really get under my skin
Trump is really good about his ears.
He wears ear plugs at loud concerts.
He makes sure his ear wax doesn't build up.
He keeps the gray hairs growing out of his ears nice and trimmed.
He's quite possibly the most ear responsible president we've ever had.
A string went to a bar
- The bartender said:
"Sorry, we don't serve your kind."
- The string left, twisted himself up and parted his hairs, then came back to the bar.
"Aren't you the same guy just a minute ago ?" , the bartender ask.
"I'm a frayed knot" , said the piece of string.
What hairstyle is best for travelling fast in a boat?
Top knot of course.
A trip to the barbers...
That'll put hairs on your chest.
I have some bad news about my uncle Ziti...
He pasta way..
...
He sure was a pizza work.
...
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At least he's with the angel hairs right now.
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Please say a prayer for him on parm Sunday.
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... ... ... ... Spaghetti.
I bought a hair net.
Now I can go out and catch some hairs
If youre ever feeling powerless....
....just remember, a single one of your p**... hairs can shut down an entire restaurant.
Youre special.
I was talking to my plumber...
I told him, "Mario, I'm growing a big bushy mustache like yours, so I got this hair trap to prevent the stray mustache hairs from clogging my drain. It's working great, and I'm thinking of keeping the mustache, so I figure maybe I should get some plumbing epoxy and affix the hair trap to the pipes. What do you think?"
My plumber responded, "Listen, if it ain't a-broke..."
How do hairstylists workout?
Curling irons
My girlfriend is a cosmetologist, but sometimes she calls herself a stylist.
I think she is just splitting hairs.
Gray Hair
A curious child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning gray?
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs gray!
The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only gray hairs on her head.
